


Wounds That Never Show

by Phoenix_Waves



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Draco Malfoy, Dissociative Identity Disorder, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Frottage, Gay Panic, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Healing, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Draco Malfoy, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Rimming, Sexual Assault, Suicidal Thoughts, Supportive Ron Weasley, Top Harry Potter, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-03 13:14:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 51,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21180023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix_Waves/pseuds/Phoenix_Waves
Summary: "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly cannon compliant until 6th year. Begins after Harry, Ron and Hermione run into Draco and Narcissa in Diagon Alley and Harry wants to follow Draco into Knockturn Alley to see what he's up to at Borgin and Burke's.
> 
> Jumps to postwar eight year AU where Harry has no choice but to face all of his trauma and actually do something with it. And of course, who better to do some deep healing with than Draco Malfoy? Dark subject matter, explicit sex scenes, but still some cute, angsty, fluffy Drarry.
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING** There is graphic depiction of underage rape in this chapter. The archive warnings apply to the one scene in this chapter, everything following gets significantly lighter in comparison but it can definitely be triggering.
> 
> “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”  
― Fred Rogers
> 
> This is my first attempt at fanfic writing so I hope you enjoy! Comments and feedback are welcome and appreciated!

Anger and loathing pulsed viscerally through Draco's veins as he stalked down the cobbled path of Diagon Alley. How dare Harry Fucking Potter, already the bane of his existence, talk to mother in that way! Like it wasn't enough that he had cost him his father and sullied the Malfoy name, but to outright disrespect his family in Madam Malkin's like that with the mudblood and blood traitor behind him! He'd show them! He'd show them all!

He noticed the stares and hushed voices that followed in his wake but feigned ignorance. It was annoying. Everywhere he went, he heard whispers of Lucius and the Dark Lord and Stupid. Fucking. Potter. The audacity that that decidedly mediocre plebeian would be mentioned in the same breath as someone as noble as his father or as great as the Dark Lord! It was laughable! Urgh, did no one else see Potter for what he really was: no more than a skilless but ridiculously lucky bastard with a questionable pedigree?

And, furthermore, why did people expect him to feel shame on behalf of his father or for their beliefs? Was it so bad to want to preserve pure blood status? No. Meanwhile, the light side would have everyone believe that the Dark Lord and his followers wanted to murder and pillage villages - which was ridiculous. Ok, so a few muggles might've gotten flown around in their knickers at the World Cup but, really, they were fine! And a message had to be sent. There's nothing like putting the fear of Merlin into people every once in a while to shift a movement, it's necessary! No one was getting killed or hurt unless they were stupid enough to get in the way of the Dark Lord. If they'd just lie down and get out the way, they'd be fine. And at that, he strengthened his resolve, lifted his chin up high and stalked off towards Knockturn Alley.

As he turned towards Borgin and Burke's, he was briefly stirred from his thoughts when he thought he saw the air shimmer around him. He paused but, when he saw nothing, he simply pushed forward and his mind drifted back to the task at hand. He sighed. Why, oh why, couldn't Dumbledore be one of those people who just laid down and got out of the way? The weight of what the Dark Lord had asked him to do settled like lead in his stomach. He knew that Mother feared that he had been given the task with the expectation that he would fail and to punish father for his failures. Draco refused to think this. He was clever and cunning and he could figure this out and gain the favor of the Dark Lord in this new world order along the way. No, he didn't _want_ to kill anyone, yet alone the old man, but he did understand why it needed to be done. If Dumbledore was the only thing standing in the way of progress, then he would just have to be a casualty of the war, he justified. Thus, Draco had given Narcissa the slip to put his plan into motion. He would claim redemption for father! For the Malfoy name and for their cause!

* * *

Seeing Malfoy and Narcissa in Madam Malkin's relit a spark in Harry that he hadn't realized had gone out in the first place. Watching Sirius fall through that veil mere weeks before had left him feeling barely there. While being at the Burrow had helped, the constant news of disappearances on top of his grief could barely keep away the numbness that threatened to take over his mind and limbs. He was sure the dementor fog that seemed to constantly permeate the air these days didn't help but, as it were, it just felt too overwhelming to think about the heartbreaking sadness of losing his godfather, the soul crushing guilt that came with knowing that it was all his fault (no matter what anyone said to the contrary), or the monumental weight of knowing that it was all up to him to somehow end it all when time and time again he couldn't even save the people he cared about. Numbness was easier.

Now Malfoy -- Malfoy was someone safe for him to point his hurt and anger towards! After the incident in the robe shop and seeing Malfoy give Narcissa the slip, Harry was convinced that the pointy git was up to no good. While Ron and Hermoine agreed with him, they were firmly in the "whatever it is, he's not worth the mental energy" camp. Harry, on the other hand, couldn't think of a better way to spend his mental energy at the moment so when he saw Malfoy turn down Knockturn Alley, he couldn't resist throwing on his invisibility cloak and following. He felt a little guilty about dashing off before Ron and Hermoine could protest but he didn't want to lose him and he'd surely be right back before they or Hagrid could worry too much. 

Harry watched as Malfoy threatened Borgin and he became more convinced than ever that the stupid git had actually joined the Death Eaters. Was he really that daft and elitist to do such a thing? Harry sighed as he mentally answered his own question. Harry had always had Malfoy pegged as woefully naive and ignorant when it came to Death Eater values but maybe he did get it and really was a truly evil bastard... Harry didn't know, but he was determined to find out. It was probably a bad thing that this got him excited but the thrill of the mystery was at least tangible.

It wasn't long before the shop bell rung with a dull ding and the door swung open again. Malfoy whistled as he walked along the cobbled path of Knockturn Alley and Harry followed quietly. He could've sworn that Malfoy had almost caught sight of him earlier and the last thing he needed was a confrontation in the shadiest fucking place in all of wizarding London. As if he had read Harry's mind, Draco stopped mid whistle and spun around abruptly, arm reaching out and spinning away with the invisibility cloak in hand, leaving Harry woefully exposed.

"Ha! I thought that was you, Potter!" He snarled. "What is it, you perv? Thought you'd follow me home and catch me in a wank?"

Harry glared back in response before rolling his eyes. Already caught, he figured he might as well go for the straight forward approach.

"Why are you in Knockturn Alley, Malfoy?"

"Wouldn't you like to know? What I'm more curious about is what happens when the righteous, golden-chosen prat wanders into places that he doesn't belong because he feels entitled to other people's business?" He practically purred. "Huh. Looks like father's revenge might come much sooner than I'd ever hoped!"

Harry's eyes narrowed and his fist tightened around his wand. He thought about Lucius and the ministry and Bellatrix and Narcissa taunting him about Sirius in Madam Malkin's. His magic pulsed through him, seething red hot and barely controllable. "Look, you miserable death eater spawn! I truly hope your dear father enjoys his slow decline into insanity in Azkaban until the rest of your putrid family joins him." He nearly growled.

Malfoy's eyes gleamed with something menacing and his pupils widened infinitesimally at his words. His wand hand twitched but then his mouth worked into a slow smirk. "I should be hexing you to Hades, Potter, but... it looks like I've got a new cloak and I think it'd be more fun to leave you to the wolves."

Harry filled with rage as the cloak twirled through the air with a flourish and Malfoy disappeared with a chuckle. Just as he raised his wand to aim at the spot where Malfoy had last been, Harry heard a deep voice behind him shout: "Expeliarmus!"

The force of the unexpected spell knocked him forward on hands and knees as his wand flew from his hand and a second voice boomed "Petrificus totalus!"

"Shit! You were right, Rowle!" The approaching footsteps stopped next to him and a bulking man with a brutal face appeared in front of him, eyes flying wide as he searched out the scar. "It really is Potter! Let's alert the Dark Lord! We shall be rewarded greatly for this!"

Shit.

"Hold off, Yaxley! Don't press it yet!" Harry couldn't turn his head to look but he imagined Yaxley's hand hovering over the Dark Mark. He could almost hear the smirk in Rowle's voice as he continued. "Let's have a little fun first!"

Shit.

* * *

Draco watched from underneath the cloak as Yaxley and Rowle each grabbed Potter underneath an arm, still frozen in that stupid position with that shocked look on his face, and carried him off back into the building from which they'd come.

"Well, that was quick." He huffed, reveling in the irony of his last words. He shifted from foot to foot uneasily for a moment. He turned to leave but then turned back to stare after the three. Why should he care? His father's friends were about to turn Potter over to the Dark Lord and he should be jumping for joy because that's what he deserved! ...It was, in fact, the natural order of things, right? He shifted uncomfortably again, his face screwed up in thought. Potter was another one of those stubborn idiots who seemed incapable of just lying down and getting out of the Dark Lord's way so who cared if he'd probably die? And so what if he was barely 16 and Draco had known him for 5 years and he was Draco's favorite person to hate? He deserved what he got, right?

"Right." He nodded invisibly and then cursed himself as he walked off towards the apothecary that the 3 had vanished into.

Draco slid carefully through the door, biting back a curse as his foot caught and the shifty shop owner looked through him in confusion. He walked through rows of dubious potions ingredients with no sight or sound of Potter or his captors. Finally, he reached 2 doors near the back of the shop and paused when he heard the buzzing sound of a cast _muffliato_ coming from one of them.

"_Alohamora_," he whispered and let out a hushed sigh of relief when the door actually clicked open and revealed a staircase leading to the basement below. As he eased down the stairs and past the barrier of the silencing charm, he could hear Yaxley and Rowle once more.

"Looky looky. What a sight we have here!" came Yaxley's haughty voice. "You like cock don't you, Mr. Potter?"

......What?

Draco froze on the stairs. Clearly he had to have misheard. Surely, a respected ministry official and beloved friend and colleague of his father was not propositioning his schoolmate for sex. That was absurd. But then he heard the unmistakable sound of a hand smacking hard against flesh and Rowle practically growl with excitement.

"The Chosen One, huh? _Crucio_!" Draco didn't hear any screams so assumed Harry must still be paralyzed. "How 'bout I rip that pretty little arse of yours apart? Give you a last hoorah before the Dark Lord rips your last breath from your lungs."

Draco couldn't resist and quietly rushed down the last of the steps, filling with panic at what he saw before him. There was no propositioning. Potter was, indeed, still frozen from the immobilization spell and he'd been bent across a plush looking armchair in the middle of the shopkeeper's potions room. His clothes had clearly been vanished as he was stark naked with his arse stuck in the air. Yaxley stood in front of him while Rowle braced himself behind, both men with their robes opened and trousers around their ankles. Draco felt a flush flame across cheeks and down his neck and chest.

Draco walked silently around the room. He didn't know why, but he needed to see Potter's face. It was still frozen in that shocked look, his black hair as disarrayed as always. Draco thought he could see horror in his bright green eyes as Yaxley used his fingers to widen his jaw. Draco winced when it resulted in an audible crack and a ghost of a scream came from Potter's throat. That meant that the spell was showing signs of wearing off if his vocal chords were starting to move. It didn't matter though because in that next moment, Yaxley had shoved his old, pulsing cock inside of Harry's mouth almost at the same time that Rowle rammed his own too huge cock roughly into his arse. Harry's eyes grew wider in pain and terror and his screams grew louder though they were now muffled around Yaxley.

Draco could not believe that this was happening. It felt like a surreal, out-of-body experience only heightened by the fact that he was invisible. He was just almost at the point of convincing himself that this was some weird, fucked up, twisted dream when Rowle started in on Harry with a punishing rhythm which, unlubricated, had resulted in a trickle of thick, red blood to roll down Potter's thigh. He had the sudden urge to reach out and place a calming hand on Potter's back to let him know that he wasn't alone and it would be ok. No, he couldn't dream this. He'd dreamed of Potter before but those dreams were pleasant, if not, disconcerting -- no, his mind could never make something like this up because he wouldn't wish this on his worst enemy, even if that _was_ Harry Potter.

Could he stop this without revealing himself? He still had the trace on him for another year and couldn't risk his magical signature being traced back to this place if he was... What? If he was seriously thinking about acting against the Dark Lord and helping Harry Fucking Potter? Was that what he was doing? Technically he just wanted to stop 2 vile and disgusting human beings from doing something he was sure the Dark Lord himself would surely disapprove of... Who was he kidding? This was tantamount to suicide. 

"Fuck my life," he thought.

He knew that under normal circumstances the ministry might not look into it too much since there were at least 3 other of-age wizards who could be the caster (including the shopkeep upstairs) but he highly doubted that Yaxley wouldn't go to the ends of the earth to figure out exactly who'd been here if he were foiled by the obvious use of magic from an invisible force. There was a fireplace in the far corner and a jar of what looked like floo powder on the mantle. It was the closest thing if he really had to drag Potter's arse out of there but that would be tricky and they could be easily tracked. He looked around for a distraction and just as he noticed the 3 wands atop a nearby bookshelf and started to come up with a plan, he heard something that first made him want to retch and then made his blood boil.

"Too bad Lucius isn't here, he would've loved this!" Rowle got out between grunts, his thighs smacking against Harry's bare skin and not seeming to care that his cock was now covered in the boy's blood.

Yaxley had more control as he fucked Harry's mouth slowly, relishing the way the movement of his cock in Harry's slack jaw made drool dribble out the corner of his mouth and pool on the arm of the chair. He carded a hand through the messy black hair in a way that could've been mistaken for gentle and not mocking were the circumstances not so cruel. 

"Yes. Lucius has always seemed to enjoy this particular form of torture with young muggle men, he no doubt would have found this to be the sweetest revenge for our dear Harry Potter." He almost purred, his voice hitching.

Draco cringed and felt his flush reach his ears. At first from embarrassment and then from rage. For the first time, he looked down at his left forearm in disgust and wondered what in the fuck had he gotten himself into? Were all the godawful things people said about death eaters true? And father?! His father was a part of this foul depravity?! Did he not care? Did he not care about mother?!

Draco felt weak but when he looked back over at Potter, he noticed that his legs had started to twitch and his face had started to screw up in pain. He knew then that it was almost time to act. He walked over to the bookshelf and held his breath as he reached up on tip toes to grab the three wands, praying that the death eaters were too preoccupied to see either his shoes or the floating wands before he could secure them underneath the cloak.

"Oh, yes! That's it!" Yaxley was gripping Potter's hair painfully as Harry pushed forcefully against his thighs with his forearms. "I like a good fight!" He hissed, slamming his hips against Harry's flushed and sweaty face as he finished in his mouth with a loud cry and a shudder. He pulled out gingerly, spraying the last of his load across Harry's now too red lips as he spluttered and spat. That seemed to be enough to tip Rowle over the edge as well, his head tipping back and a garbled moan escaping his throat as he buried himself deeper inside Harry before stilling.

Harry fell forward and started to push himself up. Draco walked around the back of the chair so that he'd hopefully be slightly out of earshot but still close enough to cover Potter quickly. He silently prayed that there'd be no way to trace him while using a different wand and pointed Rowle's wand from underneath the folds of the cloak and aimed it at the corner of the room furthest from their exit.

"Incendio!" He whispered frantically.

One of the bookshelves along the wall there instantly started to smoke.

"What in the?" Yaxley howled, letting go of Harry's hair, eyes searching for his wand. Rowle was a beat behind him but the fire was spreading quickly with so many flammable books, parchments, and ominous potions ingredients littered about the room. They gave up on the wand search to try to put it out manually, pants still around their ankles.

Draco swooped down upon Potter with the cloak, covering his mouth so he wouldn't scream in fright and pressing his wand into his hand. The look in Potter's eyes as they raked Draco's changed from fright to confusion to hope in a matter of seconds. And just like that, his Gryffindor instincts had kicked in and he was up on his feet, a tad wobbly, but Draco held onto his waist and Harry wrapped an arm around his shoulders and they were running towards the stairs.

"Wait! Where'd he go?! Where's Potter?!" Rowle bellowed.

But it was too late. Neither Draco nor Harry looked back as they ran up the steps or through the shop or down Knockturn Alley or even as they pushed carelessly through the crowds of Diagon Alley, covered by the cloak and stopping only when they were breathless behind the Leaky Cauldron.

It was then that Draco finally let go of Harry's waist and the other boy removed his arm from his shoulder to wrap his bare chest in a hug with one arm and cover his privates with the other. Without a second thought, Draco removed his good robes (incredibly gratefully that he'd actually worn clothes underneath it today) and wrapped it around Potter, buttoning it with deft fingers as they stayed carefully concealed underneath the invisibility cloak. He looked into his eyes and realized that, ever the cavalier Gryffindor, he had never once seen Potter cry. Not even the time when all his bones were removed from his arm or that time he fell 100 feet off his broom. But right now, though his face was carefully blank, tears streamed unbidden from the boys eyes. It was just enough to make Draco's heart ache but then, voices from the Leaky Cauldron reminded Draco of the reality of the situation.

"Shit! No one can know that I helped you or I'm dead!"

Harry looked pained for a second but then his face went blank again.

"Right." The tears stopped abruptly, taking Draco aback. "This didn't happen."

"What?" Draco asked, dumbfounded.

"None of this happened." He repeated, straightening his back and his eyes going weirdly void. "You didn't help me, I didn't see you, and I'm fine because nothing happened. Let's never speak of this again."

Something about this didn't seem right to Draco but he had to get away from this place and find mother quickly before anyone could become suspicious. Potter was giving him an easy out here so he searched his blank eyes one more time before saying: "Ok. Take care, Potter."

* * *

Draco ducked out from underneath the invisibility cloak and immediately lost sight of Harry. He briefly wondered where the other boy would go right now but told himself that he would be alright and that it wasn't his problem before turning back towards the brick wall. He was startled, however, when moments later Potter reappeared, suddenly throwing the cloak off with a flourish.

"Why in the _fuck_ am I wearing a sheet over my head?" he said, tossing the cloak to the ground and making Draco's eyes widen in disbelief. He looked around in confusion and paused once he caught sight of Draco.

"Excuse me, mate, where am I? Do you know how to get to South Kensington?"

"What are you playing at Potter?" Draco spat.

"Potter? Wait, do I know you? It's Pots -- Harold Pots." he said, holding out a hand towards Draco which he took out of pure bemusement. "Are you at university, too? I'm studying psychology there." 

Draco was just concluding that the boy was taking the piss when Potter looked down at his robes and frowned.

"Sorry -- why am I dressed like I'm in a bloody choir and holding a stick?" he asked, screwing his face up in confusion and tossing his wand near the rubbish bin. "You must think I'm a complete ponce."

Draco's jaw dropped as his eyes followed the wand.

"Have you lost your bloody mind?!"

"Right you are!" Potter laughed in earnest before straightening up and grinning. "I think my mates must just be taking the Mickey. We were having drinks after a game of rugby and it's no secret I can't hold my whiskey. This isn't the first time I've wound up someplace strange and not known how." he said, patting his pockets searchingly. "Shit, I don't have any money on me. Is that Charring Cross Road? I've got to get back to uni! I'm sore as all hell from that match, maybe I'll just grab a hotel for the night until one of those shitheads can come grab me tomorrow. I may not have any cash on me but I do have some god awful bloke named Vernon Dursley's credit card memorized for times like this!"

Draco was finding it very hard to pick his jaw up off the ground. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. No wizard with even a hint of self-preservation would throw their wand in with the rubbish, not even as a joke! And especially not in these times -- no. This was just great. Harry Potter had literally just lost his fucking mind and Draco Malfoy was the only witness. 

He looked at Harry who seemed confused but utterly oblivious to the fact that yet another outrageously fucked up thing had happened to him. This had to be some type of bizarre coping mechanism and Draco wondered what would happen when reality all came crashing back to him. Harry started to walk off towards the street, limping gingerly. 

"Wait!" He called out and Potter stopped. 

Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now all seemed to come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone.

He sighed.

* * *

"Potter." The blonde boy said again. 

"Nah, mate, it's Pots. You're close though... You know, I suppose Potter could work as a nickname if you really wanted it to." He pondered, realizing that he'd probably never see this kid again in his life so what did it really matter what he called him?

Blondie just tilted his head at him in contemplation, his light grey eyes searching. 

"Harry?" He tried again, wistfully. 

"Harold." He corrected anyways. 

At that, the blonde boy walked up to him and grabbed him by the shoulders, grey eyes staring intently into his own. 

"Harry." The boy stressed again. He didn't know why this was making him feel so uncomfortable but he had to look away. "No, look at me." He insisted, reaching out and tilting his chin upward.

"What are you... What is going..." he faltered as he stared back into the grey eyes. Then the boy was wiping at his tear stained cheek with his thumb while his fingers gently cupped his face. When had he been crying? He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch as something flickered painfully into consciousness. "Draco?"

"Harry... something bad happened to you and I think you are dissociating." Harry screwed up his face at that but kept his eyes shut. 

"No, I need you to look at me. Stay with me, now." He commanded. Harry obeyed, reluctantly finding peace in those grey eyes. He felt raw and vulnerable and Draco was standing way too close and it felt suffocating and safe all at the same time. Draco continued to search his eyes until he apparently found what he was looking for and his hand finally dropped to his side. 

"You can't fall apart right now, Potter. What kind of supposed savior are you? Don't you know you at least have to wait until after the war to crack up? Honestly!" He said, rolling his eyes. Now that sounded more like Draco Malfoy.

"I don't know what to.... How to...." He choked. "Just... Thanks, Draco. For everything."

Draco rolled his eyes again before he ran his hand through his hair and began to pace slightly hysterically. "What has become of my life? Rescuing and giving pep talks to Harry Fucking Potter! I will surely be killed for this! I've probably just got my whole family murdered." He muttered. 

Harry cocked his head to the side thoughtfully as he studied Malfoy. 

"Hey, Malfoy? Why choose to be on the side of someone who would kill you?"

Malfoy stopped his pacing and frowned in thought. 

"And why be on a side where people..." he swallowed hard, unable to finish the sentence. He couldn't acknowledge what they'd done to him. Not yet. 

Malfoy's face softened and Harry saw what looked like sadness and defeat flicker there before he put on his best damnable Malfoy mask and smirked.

"What does it matter, Potter? It's too late." He shrugged, deftly walking backwards towards the brick wall. 

Harry frowned in confusion. "What do you mean it's too late?"

"As you've so kindly pointed out, I have chosen the side that has no qualms about killing and I do so like to live." He turned to tap his wand to the bricks, looking back over his shoulder at Harry right before he touched the final brick. "Good luck, Potter. I do hope you survive. Or... at the very least, that I'm not the one that has to kill you." He smirked. 

"I hope you survive, too, Malfoy."

And at that, Malfoy disappeared into Diagon Alley. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

Harry had played his role. He had found the horcruxes, rode off with the dragon, bested the evil death eaters, vanquished the villain and saved the world. He had been naive enough to think that it might all end there, only to find that people then needed him to play the role of the war hero and the symbol of hope and change in the aftermath.

The past four months since the Battle of Hogwarts had meant far too many ceremonies and appearances as the guest of honor for this or that, calls for his expert testimony in pending wizengamot trials, ministry discussions on reform, and he'd somehow been forced onto three boards whose roles he didn't even fully understand. He felt drained and checked out and most times he chose not to even speak at all at those things but, somehow, the Prophet had taken to describing him as "_stoic_" and "_having a Dumbledore-esque mystic_" because of it.

Harry frowned as he studied his reflection in the window of the lone empty cart he'd found on the Hogwarts Express. He was still dressed in the ministry PR rep's approved wardrobe since, according to Penelope Periwinkle, he '_was a public figure and needed to dress like it_'. He wore black fitted trousers that hugged his arse just a tad bit snug, in his opinion, along with a black fitted dress shirt, a fitted vest with a silver and black paisley design that he was told made his eyes 'pop,' and rich, black, fitted velvet robes. Everything was just so... _fitted_. He barely even recognized himself.

"Well, well, well." A familiar drawl greeted him. "I never thought I'd see the day, Potter! You almost look like a proper wizard!"

Harry turned to find Malfoy stood leaning casually with his arms crossed in the compartment entryway, a smirk on his face as he looked him up and down. He hadn't seen Malfoy since the ministry trial when he testified on his and Narcissa's behalf. He had been a ghost of himself then -- too skinny and guant, his hair long and slightly matted. He stood before Harry now in his posh preppy jumper looking fit and almost back to his old quidditch form. His blonde hair was cut short now and it was perfect and illustrious once more. Harry rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile.

"I said '_almost_' -- I see your hair still looks like shite."

Harry grinned widely, relieved that, at last, someone was treating him normally! "Oh, come on, Malfoy. You don't like it? I'm kind of proud that _it_, at least, still does whatever it wants to." He said, pulling out his Hogwarts robes, feeling secretly very grateful for a uniform that allowed him to just be one of hundreds of other teenagers.

"Tired of being a pawn?" Malfoy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You have no idea." He mumbled as he turned around to swap robes as they approached the school. He knew that everyone had expected him to accept the Auror position that he'd been offered, marry his teenage sweetheart, and rise up through the ranks at the ministry but the idea of it all felt suffocating. When Mcgonagall told him that provisions were being made so that students whose studies had been interrupted by the war could return for an unprecedented 8th year, he jumped at the chance for normalcy! To be an 18-year-old!

"Oi! Malfoy!" Came Ron's voice from somewhere down the corridor.

"Here we go." Malfoy said, rolling his eyes before raising both hands in a couple of unkind gestures in Ron's direction.

"Ronald, stop it!" Came Hermione's voice.

"Anyways, glad you survived, Potter." He said with a bow of his head before he walked off casually.

"What did that prick want?" Ron asked, struggling to push his and Hermione's trunks, topped by Crookshanks and Pigwidgeon, into the cart a moment later.

"Erhm..." Harry didn't know how exactly to describe the interaction he'd just had with Malfoy. "He was actually being... kind of... erhm.... Nice?"

Ron's mouth dropped open in shock. "Come off it, mate! Malfoy? Nice?!" He said, cursing as Crookshanks hopped off, causing one of the trunks to shift onto his foot.

Harry contemplated this for a moment while he pulled one arm into his robes.

"Well... he said he was surprised I could look like a proper wizard, that my hair looks like shite, and that he's glad I survived. So, nice for Malfoy I guess." He shrugged and sat down near the window.

"You're right, that was downright civil, mate. He's losing his touch!"

"Will you two please at least _try_ to play nice with Malfoy?" Hermione said, already exasperated as she took a seat next to Harry. "Us 8th years are supposed to be models for interhouse unity!"

"Interhouse unity my arse--" Ron dodged a blow from Hermione before sitting across from them. "He's still a Malfoy."

"He's not all bad, is he Harry?" She turned to him expectedly.

He froze. Hermione was the one person who understood the complexity of he and Malfoy's relationship. After running into Rowle in the diner and then escaping Yaxley at the ministry last year, Harry developed horrible night terrors while they were on the run. One day, after Ron had left and it was just he and Hermione, Harry found himself flooded with thoughts from that day and filled with unbearable pain while wearing the locket holding horcrux. He ripped it off of his neck and broke down in Hermione's arms, finally telling her about his rape and how Malfoy had been there for him, making her promise to never tell a soul. It had been one of the most harrowing things he'd ever had to relive but Hermione was there to keep him strong and Harry had felt an unexpected sense of relief that helped him keep moving. Harry knew that it was the knowledge of what Malfoy had done for her best friend followed by his subsequent refusal to identify Harry at Malfoy manner that had changed Hermione's perspective on him.

"Yea, he has his moments..." was all he could think to say.

"Well, I for one--" said Ron, stifling a yawn. "--say that the day I become friends with Malfoy is the day I put on one of Aunt Muriel's old biddy dresses and do the Waltz with Mcgonagall again." He cringed. "Not going to happen!"

Harry laughed but Hermione just rolled her eyes and gave the look that said: "_Really, Ronald?_"

"I'm going to go look for the Trolley witch." Said Ron, standing up and making his way towards the door. "I'm starving!"

"What else is new?" They responded in unison and laughed in earnest as the door shut behind him. Now _this_ felt normal.

Hermione grabbed his arm and curled into his side like a cat -- a position they'd grown accustomed to during nights where they found it hard to sleep on the run or at Grimmauld Place over the past few months. In spite of everything, Ron could still fall asleep at the drop of a bowler hat and sleep through a Hungarian horntail attack. It was Hermione and Harry who would stay up and keep each other company, sometimes talking for hours.

"We really _should_ make an effort with Malfoy, you know. He's got to be having rough time, too, and I doubt many people at Hogwarts will be so understanding of the difficult position he was in."

Harry sighed. He didn't know where he and Malfoy stood. So much had happened in these past 2 years, some of it horrible, some of it painful, and half of it they seemed to have an unspoken rule to just not talk about. On "_that day_," there was a moment where it felt like there was the potential for a friendship but then it had become very clear that they each had separate and conflicting roles to play. At first, Harry had felt determined to prevent Malfoy from living out the destiny that he seemed to have resigned himself to but then it had become obsessive for Harry and culminated with Harry accidentally nearly killing the boy in that bathroom. He'd finally let go of the notion that they could ever be on the same side but then, they went and saved each other's lives. Could they possibly bridge the gap now that the war was over and the game was done?

Hermione lifted her head to look up at his profile and then bit her lip in thought before speaking.

"You know... Ginny said that Blaise hinted that Malfoy might be gay..." she said, her grip tightening on his arm as she eyed his reaction. Harry didn't know why but it felt like his stomach had dropped.

"Gay? Wow... I guess I never really considered that Malfoy might be... Gay..." he said, dumbly, finding his mouth suddenly very dry.

Hermione nodded. "Harry, would you ever consider..."

His eyes widened when he finally caught on to what she was asking. "I'm not gay! Merlin, Hermione! What has Ginny been telling you?!" He asked angrily. Sure the intimacy between them had been none existent for ages but did that mean she was going around telling people he was _gay_?

Hermione rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time and Harry was beginning to wonder at what point might they get stuck like that.

"Nothing, Harry. She hasn't said anything of the sort. I only mean that the two of you have always been very.... _passionate_.... when it comes to each other."

He frowned. "By which you mean we've always wanted to kill each other?"

"And save each other." She smiled.

Finally, he rolled his eyes. "Hermione, I've dated Ginny! I had a crush on Cho! Remember?!" He said indignantly, trying and failing to keep his voice even.

"Oh, Harry -- it's not like sexuality works in such an all or nothing way as gay or straight. It--"

Before she could go into full lecture mode, he slipped out of her grip to put both of his hands on her shoulders, pushing her up and facing her head on. "Hermione. I am not gay."

It looked like something was warring on her face for a moment before she said, "Would it be a bad thing if you _were_?"

Harry stared into her eyes, hands still on her shoulders. How could he respond to that? Sure, maybe he had developed a tiny boy crush on Cedric Diggory in 4th year... But it was Cedric Diggory, who hadn't?? Remembering Cedric at all came with it's own pain so he didn't like to dwell on it. And maybe he had also started to realize that Malfoy was actually quite fit somewhere around 3rd year but he was... Malfoy! But...... the part he struggled with most in that moment as Hermione stared beseechingly back into his eyes, was how could he tell her that to sit with that question -- to really be open with himself around that question -- would require a deep dive into feelings of shame and guilt around the rape that he just couldn't allow himself to touch, to go near! He hadn't even been able to touch himself in two years without feeling unclean and shameful. He started to feel that feeling of numbness ebbing away at the corners of his mind but, luckily, at that moment the compartment door opened making him drop his arms and his shield.

"Harry!! Hermione!" Came shouts from Neville, Ginny, Luna, Seamus, and Dean as they filed in behind Ron, all bearing armfuls of sweets. Soon laughter filled the cart and the unease from moments before was all but forgotten.

* * *

Draco lay flat on his back in the grass next to Dumbledore's tomb, eating lemon drops and watching the clouds drift by. He sighed as the familiar, large eagle owl came into view and circled lower and lower before landing near his head, a letter addressed to Draco in tow.

"You're starting to become a bad omen, you know that?" He muttered, ruefully.

The owl simply looked at him with large, baleful eyes and stuck its leg out more forcefully. Draco, knowing all too well the pain of the eagle owl's beak, quickly relieved her of the letter and reached into his robes for an owl treat. There was a quick hoot in response before she flapped her large wings and took off again.

Draco didn't have to look at the elegantly slanted writing to know who it was from. He was just debating incendio-ing it when he heard the crunch of footsteps on the crisp, fall grass. He didn't bother sitting up. There was only one person who knew to find him here and, thus, he wasn't surprised when Blaise Zabini came to a halt next to him and sat down beside him.

"You really must be feeling morose. I thought Malfoy's didn't lie in the grass?" He joked.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Well _this_ Malfoy got hexed by a Hufflepuff today. A _Hufflepuff_! I think I've officially lost all pride at this point. What's a couple of grass stains?" He said wryly, popping another lemon drop and passing the bag to his friend. He felt eternally grateful that Blaise had decided to return, too, his only real friend from Slytherin to do so.

It was strange coming back to Hogwarts, a place where he had once ruled, now returned as an anathema. He had expected it and resigned himself to his fate, but it was still sobering all the same. There were exceptions and surprises, of course. For instance, Granger had been downright friendly since the start of term, going out of her way to call him by his given name and say hello whenever she saw him. It was quite disconcerting, actually. 

Surprisingly, most of the 8th years in other houses seemed to have taken Potter's defense of him as calls for a truce. He figured that since nearly all of them had been a part of the war in some way, they were really just tired of fighting and had little room left for petty bickering and old feuds. And while they weren't going out of their way to extend an olive branch, even ignoring him was a far welcome cry over the outward disdain he received from the rest of the school.

His fellow Slytherins were mostly split into 2 camps: the first being those whose families were tried and true death eaters who thought Draco a traitor; and the rest those who were neutral or team Order who now placed all blame for the hate the house was receiving onto him for being the one actual death eater. The Greengrasses weren't bad though. He had never been particularly close with either of them but, at some point, the younger one, Astoria, must've taken him for a sadcase and she and Daphne started forcing him to join them in the common room every now and then for a game of exploding snaps in their attempts to pull him out of hiding. "If you're going to hide in the shadows like a vampire then people are going to treat you like one!" Daphne kept insisting.

"I know what would cheer you up." Blaise said with a waggle of his thick, black eyebrows.

Draco smiled wickedly as Blaise ran a hand down his chest before leaning down to nip at his waistband with his teeth.

"Not in front of Dumbledore, Blaise." He admonished.

"Hey! It's a well known fact that Dumbledore was bent. I'm sure he could appreciate a little fellatio." He smirked but sat back up.

Draco and Blaise were mostly strictly just friends but they had experimented and fooled around a few times over the years. It had started back in fourth year when Blaise realized he might be bi and both boys, having already resigned themselves to the fact that they were doomed to marry pure blood girls and carry out their family legacies, had had a moment of _"fuck it, might as well try it."_

"Is that another letter from your father?" Blaise nodded towards the letter in his hand.

"Yes." He answered simply.

"Are you going to read this one?"

"No."

Lucius, like most other captured death eaters, was still sat in Azkaban awaiting trial as the Ministry was really drawing out the process. Draco and his mother had been there for only three weeks but it had been the most miserable three weeks of his life. He would be forever haunted by the screams of misery and hopelessness held within those walls. Just when he felt himself giving in to irrevocable despair, he was told that mother and his trials had been expedited. No one told him why, but he had his theories.

He sat up and looked across to the other end of the lake where Potter and his sidekicks sat beneath the big beech tree. Draco knew that Potter had taken to having most of his free periods by the lake, too, apparently just as apt to avoid the other students as Draco. As if he could sense his gaze, Harry turned and they momentarily locked eyes before Draco lay back down and returned to his lemon drops.

After eight years, Harry Potter's existence still managed to annoy him more than a bad case of spattergroit -- now, his annoyance was just for very different reasons than when they were younger.

It had always peeved him that Potter seemed incapable of minding his own business. The fact that he had somehow, inexplicably, become Potter's favorite subject for meddling was only the icing on that particular proverbial cake. When life made sense, it usually meant that Harry was hellbent on foiling Draco in some way. But now, in some bizarre twist of fate, most of Potter's meddling of late involved the green eyed boy either saving Draco's arse or defending it and it drove Draco crazy that he didn't know what to make of it.

Draco still had vivid flashbacks of being wrapped around Harry's body, clinging for life with heat and flame and death licking at his back, knowing that he'd just lost a lifelong friend and that his future was uncertain... and, simultaneously feeling safer than he'd ever felt before... because, deep down, he knew that Harry Potter was good and he could make it alright, even if he didn't deserve it.

He deserved death but Potter had kept him from it. He deserved Azkaban but Potter's testimony saw him free.

When Potter showed up at his trial, Draco was overcome with shock, reverence and then anger. He knew he didn't deserve the kind things Harry said about him and he couldn't tell if Potter truly thought him worthy of defense, himself, or if it or was it all born out of some sick sense of obligation. 

Either way, it made Draco want to earn his freedom which was why he was back at this godforsaken school with his ridiculous plan for life after Hogwarts.

Blaise interrupted his musings.

"You know, I'm thiiiiis close to getting Ginny Weasley to go to Hogsmead with me." He said triumphantly, holding his thumb and index finger a millimetre apart. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Blaise, please tell me you're not seriously fantasizing about a lifetime of creepy ginger holidays and little Weasley babies." He cringed. "Anyways, isn't she dating Potter?"

"Nope! Witch Weekly's most idyllic couple is no more!" He exclaimed with way too much glee.

Draco didn't even want to think about why that news made him feel gleeful, too. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

"It'll calm down, mate." Ron was saying from across the table right before he stuffed his mouth full of bacon. "S'only the sec'nd week."

Harry kept his gaze on his plate, pointedly trying to avoid making eye contact with any of the girls around the Great Hall who kept waving or batting their eyes shamelessly in his direction. He already knew from experience that it only got worse when you made eye contact!

"Besides, there are worse things in the world than pretty girls wanting to shag you, Harry. _AH_!" Ron yelped as Hermione hit him with a carefully aimed whack of this morning's Daily Prophet.

"Nice, Ron." Said Ginny as she joined them, placing a hand on Harry's back and taking the seat next to him. He looked up to see her shoot angry glares at his admirers and some of them had the good grace to look guilty. They all laughed.

"When are you two going to break it to them?" asked Dean from Ginny's other side. 

"Or come to your senses and work it out?" Hoped Ron. 

He and Ginny gave each other wry smiles and then shrugged. Penelope had insisted that now was not the time to let the public in on their breakup. He felt grateful that their friendship, at least, hadn't skipped a beat.

"I know you hate all the attention, Harry, but, on the bright side, at least this has to be better than the whole '_heir of Slytherin' _thing, right?" Neville chimed in from Ron's other side.

He sighed. "No, this is more awkward. Some of these girls make Romilda Vane look sane." He shivered as he remembered and eyed his treacle tart suspiciously. "I'd suggest that no one eat the sweets..."

He was distracted when Malfoy stumbled into the room, followed by the Greengrass sisters. Harry narrowed his eyes; if he didn't know any better, he'd say that they'd just pushed him through the doors of the great hall. Malfoy had been painfully absent from meals this past week and it had been weird; while Harry would never admit it, part of the experience of eating in the Great Hall had always meant that he could always count on Malfoy to be there for them to glare at each other -- it was a part of their routine! But whispers filled the hall and Harry watched as the same heads that had looked to him in adoration now turned toward Malfoy in disdain. Draco quickly straightened his back and walked purposely toward the end of the Slytherin table where he was joined by the Greengrasses and Blaise Zabini. He kept his unbothered Malfoy-mask carefully in place as he poured himself a cup of tea. Then Harry watched on, bewildered, as Luna Lovegood, of all people, skipped right up to Malfoy at the Slytherin table and started a conversation! Malfoy looked just as confused as he felt but then Luna handed him some type of necklace and Malfoy flashed her a warm, unguarded smile.

"Harry's right not to focus on dating right now." Harry jumped and turned his attention to Hermione.

"What?"

"There are simply more important things to think about right now." She was currently sorting through his mail from this morning's post. He had planned to simply ignore it all so he was all too glad to let her sort through it. "Kingsley Shacklebolt formally requests your --"

"Nope, not interested."

"But, Harry! It's a real honor --"

"I came to Hogwarts so that I could stop having to make all these appearances, Hermione."

"But what about --" She started, waving another piece of mail. Harry recognized the Daily Prophet's insignia and cut her short.

"Nope, no more interviews."

"But what about --" he gave her a sidelong glance that made her falter. "But no, really, Harry! This one's at Hogwarts and it's a great opportunity! Apparently Flitwick and the new DADA professor would like you to personally head up the new dueling club. It starts on Halloween so there's plenty of time to prep!" she whined.

"Hermione, can't you let the poor bloke have one commitment free week?" Harry suddenly felt grateful for Ron. He figured that if he simply checked out of the conversation at this point then the two of them would bicker through it alone until they forgot all about whatever Flitwick wanted. Harry turned towards the head table to see the little wizard chatting merrily with Headmistress McGonagall. He was just about to turn back and see if Ron and Hermione had switched topics yet when he froze. Right in front of the head table, vivid as the light of day, were the bodies of Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, and Fred Weasley.

His heart stopped and he felt a cold sweat as panic crept into his core. He couldn't move and that familiar numbness was starting to ebb away at the edges of his mind. Was there a Dementor around? He didn't hear the screaming that he usually did and why was no one else reacting? He pried his eyes away from the stiff and bloodied bodies of his friends and saw nothing but the smiling faces of students all around him. His ears began to ring and it only magnified the too loud echoes of joyous laughs throughout the hall. He felt like he was spinning until, finally, his eyes landed on searching steel gray eyes. Draco Malfoy was staring at him with one eyebrow raised in concern. Just like that, the sounds in the room returned to normal and his heart resumed beating, only now at top speed. He risked a glance back over to the head table and saw nothing there besides the teachers having breakfast.

He turned back to Hermione and Ron. "-- and I know you've already technically got the offer, but really it couldn't hurt your chances of making it through Auror training with something like that on your resume."

"Yea, whatever -- I'll do it." He said absentmindedly, gathering his things in a rush. "Look, I've got to get out of here."

"Are you ok, mate?"

"Harry!"

But he was already out the door. He stopped at the nearest boys bathroom and took off his glasses to throw water on his face. He gripped the side of the sink and stared back into tired green eyes.

"It wasn't _real_." He told himself. "It wasn't real."

He couldn't remember the last time he had slept more than two hours at a time since the war. Surely this was just a sign of sleep deprivation.

"You're fine. You're good." He said, forcing a smile onto his face until it started to look somewhat natural. "You're fine."

"You sure are, handsome." Teased the mirror. Harry frowned and gathered his stuff to head off to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

* * *

Draco sat in the back of the class next to Blaise, fiddling with the butterbeer cork necklace that was now wrapped around his neck.

"Ok, class. Settle down, settle down!" Called Professor Merrywhip. The sandy-haired wizard was relatively young, he couldn't have been more than 10 years out of Hogwarts himself. He knew the theory well enough but his posh navy blue robes and generally jubilant demeanor made it clear that hadn't been touched by either of the wars. Draco wondered how long he would last here, DADA curse broken or not.

"You lot are an extraordinary bunch, indeed! We've thus far been going over some of basic spells that are sure to come up on your NEWTS and I've been surprised by your skills in light of so many professorial changes."

Draco wanted to bang his head on the table. He looked around the room: Granger sat in the front row, the perfect student, nodding along with rapt attention but nearly everyone else looked slightly bored if not feigning politeness. Weasley was already nodding off, Thomas and Finnigan couldn't seem to keep their hands to themselves under the table when they thought no one was looking (how those two weren't out yet was beyond him), and even the Patil twins, who had spent the first week chattering nonstop about how handsome the young instructor was, seemed to have lost interest.

Professor Merrywhip really seemed to be oblivious to the fact that everyone in the room, besides himself, had fought in the war and that their mastery of defense against the dark arts was the only reason any of them were sitting there today. Draco had been on the other side of the war and it still felt belittling to him. 

Potter sat next to Weasley, seemingly gazing off into space. Draco wondered what he thought of Merrywhip. Of course, the man was all down for playing into the Harry Potter hero worship so maybe he liked him.

"Today, I'd like to work on something more challenging! Let's see if I can stump you with some of the flashier spells!" He smiled. "Can anyone name some of the spells that are guaranteed to get you some additional points on your NEWTS?"

Of course, Granger's hand shot up.

"Yes, Ms. Granger?"

"Spells that are particularly difficult and require a great bit of skill like the Patronus Charm, certain non verbal spells, and any wandless defensive spells are generally rewarded with substantially greater points." She recited.

"Right you are, Ms. Granger! 10 points for Gryffindor!" He exclaimed. "Now Mr. Potter, I hear you've got a stellar corporeal patronus that you've had mastered since 3rd year! My word! I've never heard of such a thing!" He said, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Potter blinked out of his daze to look up at the man, nonplussed.

"I would love to get a demonstration from the war hero of your tried and true patronus charm! Can you show the class?"

Draco rolled his eyes. Ugh, he was _that_ kind of arse kisser. He wanted to gag but apparently it was making Potter feel just as uncomfortable: he could see a deep flush creep up the boy's neck from where he sat. Ok, maybe Potter wasn't a fan of this man's groveling.

Potter licked his lips and looked around the room briefly before saying respectfully: "Thank you, professor, but I'd rather not."

"Oh, come now, Harry! Just one show!" Merrywhip beamed.

Draco made it a rule to try not to waste energy worrying about Harry Potter as it was sure to be a constant and futile endeavor for anyone to undertake. That obviously hadn't always worked for him in the past since Potter somehow kept getting caught by death eaters, but the little things, he could usually let go of. He sat here now, however, getting increasingly annoyed. He couldn't be the only one to notice the dark circles around Potter's eyes that made him look like he hadn't slept properly in a year? And someone else surely had to have realized that Harry never smiled anymore or that the sparkle in his bright green eyes had been dimmed... And what about what happened this morning? Someone had to have noticed that Potter was having a rough go of it and that maybe they should back off.

Harry looked nervous. "No, professor. I'd really rather not."

Merrywhip looked as if he might press the issue but Draco felt the carefully contained anger that he'd done such a bang-up job of containing all term come to a peak.

"Can we move on, please?" He said irritably. 

There were shocked looks around the room as his classmates perked up out of their stupors at the brewing conflict. 

"Excuse me? Do you think you're above this class, Mr. Malfoy? If so, there's the door!" He pointed. "And 10 points from Slytherin!"

He rolled his eyes. He simply couldn't bring himself to worry about something as trivial as house points. 

"Who here, besides our professor, has seen Potter's stag patronus?" He asked the room at large. He raised his hand and slowly all of his classmates followed suit.

"Who here can also cast a corporeal patronus?" He, Blaise, Daphne, and Theo were the only ones to put their hands down.

"And of you that can, how many were directly taught how to cast it by Potter?" Since everyone in the room besides the Slytherins were members of Dumbledore's Army, they kept their arms raised. "And those who actually had to use it in the Battle at Hogwarts?" No one put their hands down.

Some of them, like Granger looked at him wide eyed in shock or awe for daring to challenge a professor while others, like Longbottom, simply looked somber as they remembered. Weasley might've actually been impressed; but it was Harry who stood out the most. Green eyes stared at him pointedly with what might have been gratitude and Draco was startled when something in his stomach seemed to flutter. That, though, he had to ignore.

He turned back to Professor Merrywhip who was redfaced with embarrassment or anger, Draco couldn't tell. "With all due respect, _professor_," he couldn't help the sneer on the word. "Can we please move on."

"Thank you for the reminder that I am working with some incredible and brave young witches and wizards here. But, _with all due respect_, Malfoy, would you care to explain why you can't cast the charm yourself if it's really such common knowledge?" He said, cocking his head to the side with a wry smirk. 

Ah. There it was, Draco thought. The sound of barely masked contempt. The whole room seemed to be holding their breaths. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat with narrowed eyes. 

"I don't know, sir. Maybe when you're raised to impress unimpressible homicidal maniacs it's hard to think up a whole lot of joyful moments. But -- and again, I don't know -- did you ever think about the fact that Potter just died 5 months ago and watched a lot of other people do so and not come back to life? And, you know, that he might not be feeling all that happy at the moment, either?"

Merrywhip's face reddened as comprehension dawned. "My apologies, Mr. Potter." He said solemnly to Harry though he refused to so much as look in Draco's direction for the rest of the class. 

* * *

"Mr. Potter," beckoned a very guilt ridden Merrywhip as the class was dismissed. Ron and Hermione made to stick around but he nodded for them to go ahead without him. "My apologies, I didn't mean to put you on the spot..."

Harry bit his tongue. He wanted to point out that of course he had meant to put him on the spot, that's what everyone seemed inclined to do. Instead, he simply said: "It's ok, professor, really."

Merrywhip rocked on his heels. "No, really, I'm very sorry. I sometimes get a little excited to have such an astounding protege in my mist!"

Harry frowned. "Really, sir --"

"No, no. I must bear in mind that even the great Harry Potter has his limitations."

Harry really did scoff this time. Out of the corner of his eye he saw white blonde hair leaving the classroom and he hurried to gather his things. "I've got to go! Bye, professor!" he said, rushing out before Merrywhip could get out another word. The third floor corridor was crowded with students heading off to their next class but he could spot Malfoy and Zabini just ahead near the portrait of Merwyn the Malicious.

"Malfoy! Wait up!" The two boys paused. Malfoy glanced around warily and then nodded to Zabini to go ahead.

"What is it, Potter?" he asked, examining his nails with apparent disinterest.

"I just wanted to say thank you... for what you did in there..." He said, rubbing the back of his neck and suddenly feeling very awkward.

"Don't mention it, Potter. There's only so much Harry Potter hero worshiping I can tolerate."

Harry laughed. He would never admit it to anyone but he was really starting to miss their banter. Was Hogwarts really Hogwarts without Draco Malfoy barbs? "Is that the best you can come up with? You're losing your touch, Malfoy."

Malfoy's eyes widened in surprise and then a sly smirk spread across his face. "I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, Potter. Besides," he said, glancing around vigilantly again. "I'm pretty sure there are rules about you consorting with death eaters."

"What?!" Harry asked incredulously. "_Former_ death eater and you're not my enemy, Malfoy." He started to roll his eyes but he was distracted as a very angry 5th year Gryffindor boy -- Davenport or something like that, Harry thought -- pushed his way towards them through the corridor.

"Oi! How dare you speak to Harry Potter, you death eater prick!" Davenport shouted with his wand pointed at Draco's chest. Harry's wand was immediately out and he was surprised when Malfoy didn't reach for his own.

He simply sighed, resigned. "If you're going to hex me then go ahead and get on with it, I really don't have all day." he said, crossing his arms impatiently.

"_Expelliarmus_." Harry chanted as Davenport opened his mouth and the boy's wand flew towards him. "I think not. Listen to me," he said, wand still aimed at the now shaking, wandless 5th year. "I can talk to whom I please and I can handle myself. If I ever see you point your wand at another student unprovoked I'll not only hex you myself but I'll make sure you see detention for the rest of the year!"

Davenport opened and closed his mouth frantically. "But... sir! You can't do that! He's a _Death Eater_!" He geastured listlessly at Malfoy. "And, and -- You're not even a prefect!"

Harry glared at him threateningly. "Hermione. Granger." He narrowed his eyes and enunciated the syllables for full effect. Hermione took her head girl status seriously and Harry was finding that most of the younger years found her more intimidating than even the boy who killed Voldemort.

The boy's eyes widened. "Ok! Ok! Please don't tell Ms. Granger, sir!"

Harry handed the wand back. "Now, off to class!"

He watched as Davenport ran off towards the Charms corridor. "What was _that?_" He asked, confused. "Does that happen often?"

Draco donned his unbothered-Malfoy-mask. "I know this might be a particularly hard concept for you to grasp, but it's none of your concern, Potter." He said as he walked off and turned into his Advanced Arithmancy classroom without another word.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

After the arrival of father's latest correspondence, Draco was in a particularly foul mood that following Tuesday. He skipped lunch despite Blaise's insistence that he join him and, instead, he headed to the library and carefully browsed the Healing section. His fingers skimmed over the greatly worn and battered spines of ancient books like _The Art of Bone Mending _and _1001 Remedies for Common Maladies _until he finally came to a halt at the tiny selection of seemingly seldom used books on Mind Healing. 

Just as he reached out to grab the green, leather-bound book entitled _Magical Fixes for Emotional Hardships, _he heard the sharp little intake of breath. 

"_It's Draco Malfoy_!" Came hushed whispers followed by the hurried sound of little feet scampering away. 

Draco sighed but didn't bother trying to figure out which rude little first years he'd somehow scared away this time. At this point it didn't matter. They were all convinced that he was a monster. 

He turned on his heels to return to his table in the seldom frequented isle behind the Forbidden Section. He had just sat down and started to peruse the chapter index for anything that might be at all useful when he heard that all too familiar voice from behind him.

"Malfoy?"

Draco's heart sped up but he didn't look up from his book. "What is it, Potter?" He said with trained indifference. To both his delight and chagrin, Harry sat down opposite him in response.

"Why aren't you at lunch?"

"None of your business." He said, not taking his eyes off of his page. Another moment went by in silence before it became clear that Potter had no real plans of leaving. He sighed and finally looked up to see him staring back at him, amused, the circles under his eyes impossibly darker. Draco looked around them warily. "Why are youhere, Potter? Surely you're not here because I missed lunch? Shouldn't you be somewhere in the Great Hall stuffing your face with the Weasel like a pair of trolls?"

Potter smirked and quirked up an eyebrow. "What happened to that new leaf, Malfoy?" Draco put down his book and scowled. "Ok, ok." He raised his hands in surrender. "I need to study for potions. Slughorn keeps suggesting that I take extra lessons." He said as he started to unpack his bag and pulled out a quill and his copy of _Advanced Potions. "_He's convinced that my '_natural acumen just needs a little boost' _after everything that happened, but, _I_ think I would rather hug a blast ended skrewt than to spend any extra time with Slughorn."

Draco stared at him for a moment, his hands steepled in front of his mouth and nodding as if processing the information. "Ok... I'm still trying to understand how Slughorn's delusions or your ineptitude has anything to do with me?"

Potter shrugged. "You looked like you could use some company."

He opened his mouth indignantly. "I most certainly did _not_! You do realize that the longer you sit here, the greater my chances of being hexed?" He looked around again. Apparently last week's incident wasn't enough of a warning for Potter.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Please. Like I'd ever let anyone besides _me_ hex you while I'm with you." He said matter-of-factly although Draco noticed the hint of a blush kiss his cheeks belatedly as he tried to bury his face in the potions book. Draco's mouth fell open and then he screwed up his face in confusion.

"Wait, why--"

He was cut off when he noticed a little head poke out from the isle over. 2 more followed suit and hushed whispering ensued as a little brown haired Gryffindor boy, a blond haired Hufflepuff girl, and raven haired Slytherin girl all peaked out at them. From the looks of it, they had to be first years and Draco wondered if it was the same boy from earlier.

The little Slytherin girl pushed the boy towards them and Draco watched as the Gryffindor held his head up high and walked purposefully to their table despite the fact his hands were shaking at his side.

"Mr. Potter... Sir?" He glanced back at his partners in crime who nodded in encouragement. Harry shared a wry look with Draco before he turned in his chair to face them.

"Erm... Hi. What's your name?"

He turned back to his friends excitedly before answering. "Walden, sir. Walden Farrow. This is Ariela and Willamina." He pointed his thumb at the Hufflepuff and the Slytherin in turn. "Ummm... Mr. Potter, sir? ...Why are you sitting with the death eater?"

Draco made a show of looking down at his robes and examined his hands and arms out in front of him. Nope, he was pretty sure he _wasn't_ invisible. Walden threw a fearful darting glance his way and Draco frowned and bit his tongue. In the old days, he could have simply called the boy out for being a disrespectful bloody little prat but, now, that would probably result in him being chased by a mob with pitchforks. The best course of action was probably to just keep his mouth shut altogether. He crossed his arms and let himself slide down slovenly in his chair instead. Harry seemed to notice him deflate.

"Come here." He motioned to Walden and then to his friends. "It's ok."

They reluctantly came forward, still half hidden behind Walden.

"This is my..." He turned back around to search Draco's eyes for a moment and all he could do was stare back blankly, wondering how on earth Potter planned to finish that sentence. Foe? Arche Nemesis? "Friend... Draco Malfoy."

Draco's eyes widened and he heard gasps from the kids. What was Potter getting at?

"You're friends with a death eater??" Ariela practically screeched.

"_Former_ death eater." Harry corrected. "But don't worry, he was really _really _bad at it." He whispered conspiratorially. The three kids all laughed. "He saved my life more than once and even gave me a pep talk once to keep me going. You know, you've gotta really hate your job to spur on the guy who's trying to take out your boss." He said cheerfully as if relaying a fun folktale.

"Well, I don't buy it!" Walden frowned angrily, his arms crossed in disagreement. "My family was on the run for a whole year because death eaters wanted to kill us! My mum's a muggleborn..." he looked down at the floor. 

Draco suddenly found it hard to feel as annoyed with Walden. All he'd wanted to do through any of it, himself, was to protect mother. The thought of being a 10-year-old on the run, trying to avoid death and protect your mother sounded like a particular type of hell that made his heart beat in his throat. 

"You too?" Harry's voice was gentle. "My mum was a muggleborn, too, and I would've been so scared for her if she had been around through that. And you know my best friend, Hermione?" Walden nodded. "When we were on the run I was so worried for her. And I know it wasn't easy -- just trying to stay alive and being terrified every day..."

Walden nodded in agreement. "_You _were scared?"

"Oh, every day. Not just about surviving but keeping those I loved safe. And I think the scariest part was when I got captured and I was sure it was all over and thought I had failed them all."

The kids all gasped. He had everyone's attention, and Draco realized belatedly that he was holding his breath, too.

"What did you do? How did you escape?" asked Willamina, the Slytherin.

"Well..." He looked up at Draco and stared him in the eye as he spoke. "Malfoy saved me."

Draco felt a chill run down his spine.

"Really? Did you really do that, Mr. Malfoy?" Willamina had walked up to him in awe. He stayed silent, shocked by the turn of the conversation.

"Yup, he did."

"But we heard he was bad!" Said Ariela, still hiding behind Walden.

"Nah, he couldn't hurt a fruit fly." He smirked at Draco smugly. Draco narrowed his eyes at him but Potter just chuckled. "In fact, there's a lot that's actually really _good _about him."

This caught Draco's full attention and he sat up straight. Where was Potter going with this?

"Like, he's really good at giving insults -- probably the best I've ever heard! And he's a really good motivator. You know, Malfoy motivated me to fly for the first time. If it weren't for him, I never would've joined the Gryffindor quidditch team." He said, his eyes fixed on Draco in a mocking way now.

Draco wanted to flip him the bird but figured that wouldn't win him any points with the kids and he realized, with some annoyance, that he did actually _care_ about winning points with the kids.

"And he's probably the best flyer I've flown against." Draco was genuinely surprised to hear Potter admit that. He felt something warm up inside him. "He's always pushed me to be better and if it weren't for that I probably never could've outflown that dragon in my fourth year. He also motivated me to learn how to duel in 2nd year which really helped me out later against Voldemort and the Death Eaters who actually _were _good at being bad guys."

"Woooow!" Came three awestruck voices.

"Mr. Malfoy, can you teach me how to fly?" Asked Walden, trying to contain his excitement.

"Me, too. I heard you were the youngest Slytherin seeker and I want to get on the team in my second year, too." Said Willamina haughtily.

Draco looked up at Potter nonplussed. What just happened?

"Sure he can! We both can!" He volunteered.

"Potter!" He glared at him and hoped the look conveyed: _"No the fuck I wont!"_

"Yea, it'll be fun!" Potter smirked. Draco sighed, resigned. "Well... we'd have to wait until the quidditch pitch has finished growing back out or Madam Hooch will have our heads! So maybe in the next month or 2? I'd also better run it by McGonagall first and make sure she's alright with it." He contemplated while the children bounced up and down in excitement

"Thank you, Mr. Potter!"

"You don't have to call us _'mister,'_ we're not _that_ old," he laughed.

"Thanks, Harry! Thanks, Draco!" They beamed before they ran off.

Draco glared across the table. "Potter. What did you just _do_?"

Potter gave him a wry look and shrugged. "We're not going to be allowed on the quidditch teams this year. You know you don't want to go a whole year without flying and the kids are excited..." he teased.

Draco narrowed his eyes at him. He was pretty sure this was another one of Potter's ways of single-handedly trying to fix Draco's reputation and he didn't know whether to feel annoyed or touched. The worst part was, he couldn't figure out _why _Potter was doing it in the first place. Was he really delusional enough to believe all that stuff he said or was he just trying to weave a tale for the kids?

"So I'm responsible for all of your successes?" He cocked his head.

Harry laughed. "Nah, I couldn't give you _that _much credit."

"You give me too much credit. Why are you doing that?"

He shrugged. He looked like he wanted to say something but he worried his lip instead. Draco had a feeling that he was afraid to acknowledge the one thing that had happened between them that had so far been understood to be off limits.

Draco sighed. "Potter, almost everything you just listed was examples of me being shitty to you. Just because it blew up in my face and ended up with you on top, doesn't mean it wasn't shitty..." There was sadness in his eyes. "Doing _two_ decent, human things in my entire lifetime does _not_ make me a good person."

"Yea, but..."

"No, Potter, _you've got to stop_!" He hissed. "You can't absolve me of my crimes! And there is no _'former!' _The mark doesn't come off -- Believe me, I've tried." Potter's mouth fell open, as Draco gathered his things. "Look, Potter. You don't have to keep saving people, sometimes they have to save themselves. Why don't you take care of _yourself_ for once?" He stood and left him sitting there, speechless.

Draco kept his head forward as he walked past a table where Theodore Nott and Milicent Bulstrode sat with a number of seventh year Slytherins. He felt their heads turn as he passed and, just as he was almost out of the door, he was stopped by Blaise who was on his way in.

"Draco! Hey-- what's got your knickers in a bunch?"

Draco grabbed Blaise by the sleeve and pulled him out into the corridor, looking around to make sure that they were out of earshot.

"I read it." He said tensely. 

"You-- Your father's letter??" Blaise's jovial face turned serious. "What did Lucius have to say?"

"Some crap about how _'it would be wise to stick close to old friends in preparation for uncertain times'_ and some bullshite about people still having expectations of greatness from me."

They both glanced back at the table full of notorious Slytherins and former friends who all had their heads together.

"Uprising?" Blaise stated more than asked. 

"A fucking uprising." Draco whispered angrily.

"And you're expected to lead?"

Draco nodded ruefully. 

"And if you don't?"

His mouth suddenly became as dry as cotton. "Father will likely be killed in Azkaban."

Blaise looked nervous. "What are you going to do?"

"I really don't know, Blaise."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

If Harry had expected his professors to take it easy on them or that there would be a gradual ease into NEWT revisions, then he had been sorely mistaken. With many long nights spent studying facts he was sure he'd never need and cobbling together essay after essay, the next few weeks had flewn by in a whirl and, before Harry knew it, it was the end of October.

He lay awake now, exhausted but unable to sleep, per usual. Not only had the sleeping somehow gotten worse, but the visions hadn't stopped and he found himself avoiding certain corridors and he'd stopped eating in the Great Hall altogether. Instead, he'd taken to grabbing food in the kitchens or eating out by the lake. When Ron and Hermione asked why, he'd told them that he just didn't want all the attention.

It was odd. Everyone seemed to expect him to have come out of it all as some brave wizarding warrior when he was still just an orphaned 18-year-old boy who'd been thrown into a world and told that, so long as he played this role, then he would be loved.

And Merrywhip wasn't the only one to treat him like some type of defense against the dark arts guru, either. Flitwick's dueling club was scheduled to start up on Halloween day and, as much as he wanted to back out, he couldn't! Not when everyone from Hagrid to McGonagall kept emphasizing how wonderful a thing it was for him to do for the younger students and what it would mean for them to be taught by Harry Potter...

Ron and Hermione were great, of course, even if they didn't always get it. Ron always made sure that he ate, constantly bringing him food or having Mrs. Weasley send him something special. Harry wasn't sure if it was because he'd actually noticed that most days he simply didn't have an appetite and sometimes forwent eating or if it was simply because food was Ron's ultimate love language but, either way, he felt loved. Hermione would occasionally go into fits of worry but her solution to that was to keep busy. That's why each time she'd suggest more things for him to do, his love for her continued to outweigh his annoyance; she really thought she was helping. Overall, he just appreciated that they were the only 2 people in his life right now that ever asked him how he was doing, even if he did always respond with _"I'm fine." _They never pushed him past that. He was pretty sure that none of them wanted to hear the real answers to that question because it'd be too hard to pack it all back up.

It was nearly 3am and he hadn't slept a wink. Ron was snoring loudly from the bed beside him and Neville, Dean, and Seamus all seemed to be sleeping soundly. He pulled out the Marauders Map and looked to see who else might be awoke in the castle. Hermione was tucked away in the eighth year girl's dormitory and he wondered if she was still having troubles sleeping, too. Nights like this made him wish the dorms weren't separated by sex.

He frowned when he saw the name Blaise Zabini in the 7th year dormitory next to Ginny. He rolled his eyes because of course Ginny had figured out how to get a boy up the slide.

He and Ginny hadn't worked out for a number of reasons. He really did love her... only more as a sister than as a girlfriend. Kissing her started to feel uncomfortable and it just felt wrong when she tried to be sexual. He'd freeze up awkwardly whenever she did and after seeing the hurt in her eyes time and time again, he found himself avoiding being alone with her at all. She, too, looked at him like her hero and it killed him to let her down.

He really did want it to work. Being together was what Ginny wanted and what Ron wanted and what Mrs. Weasley wanted and what the public wanted and what he wanted to want. He was all set to accept a life of faking it when Ginny ended it a few weeks before the start of term. She was right, of course. It wasn't fair for either of them for him to try to force something that wasn't there. "There just are no fireworks between us," she had said.

She had cried when she told him and he had wanted to cry, too. Not because he didn't want it to end but because Ginny was meant to represent a future full of happiness and he didn't know if he'd ever have that. He didn't cry though because she needed him to be strong, so he held her and fought back the lump in his throat instead. Now, they were friends and Periwinkle was having a conniption, saying it was all a PR nightmare and doing her best to keep the breakup under wraps until people weren't so desperately in need of hope for the very things Harry was in fear of losing: love and happiness. The rumor was slowly starting to get around Hogwarts though as Ginny and Zabini got cozier. He didn't care. He only hoped that she knew what she was doing with the Slytherin.

He scanned the rest of the map. The Grey Lady and the Bloody Baron were having a rendezvous near the library. Filch seemed to be asleep but Mrs. Norris was on patrol in the third floor corridor. His eyes scanned down the map to the dungeons and he was surprised to see the moving dot of none other than Draco Malfoy. What was even more surprising was that he was in Snape's old quarters!

Harry's heart sped and, still dressed in blue flannel pajama pants and a white t-shirt, he hurried to slip on his trainers and grabbed the map. He looked towards his trunk where his invisibility cloak was buried. His stomach dropped and he froze for a moment. He didn't allow his thoughts to linger on memories of Draco Malfoy and the invisibility cloak. Instead, he left it where it lay, snatched up his wand and headed down to the dungeons without another thought.

He kept an eye out for Filch and Mrs. Norris even though he was pretty sure that as an 8th year (and as Harry Potter) he probably wouldn't get into too much trouble. He didn't know why the idea of finding out what Draco was up to felt so exhilarating or why he was more excited for an excuse to talk to the boy than he was to try to bust him. They hadn't talked since that day in the library over a month ago and he was pretty sure Malfoy was actually avoiding him. Twice, he'd seen the three kids from the library following Malfoy around the grounds like little ducks, to Malfoy's apparent annoyance. It had made Harry smile to see even though he felt slighted that Malfoy didn't seem to want anything to do with him. He knew this meant he should probably stay away but old habits die hard and since it hadn't killed him yet...

He'd made it all the way to Snape's old office in the dungeons before he realized that he had no plan. The door was locked. Sneaking in would probably startle Malfoy half to death and it would be just his luck if that resulted in another duel like the one in Moaning Mrytle's bathroom. He shivered at the thought. Bugger it. He was a Gryffindor, afterall, he thought as he brought his fist up and knocked hard on the wood door.

He heard the sound of footsteps shuffling towards the door and a muffled incantation before the door was pulled open and a shock of white blonde hair poked out.

"Blaise, I thought I told you --" Malfoy said before he realized that it wasn't Zabini. His face switched very quickly from surprise to confusion to indignation. "Potter?" He frowned as he stepped out into the light, holding his wand in one hand and a book in the other. "What on _earth_ are you doing here?"

Harry gasped softly as he took in Draco's appearance: he wore a simple black cotton t-shirt and green pajama pants that were a little too loose (no doubt thanks to his recent stay in Azkaban) but they somehow managed to accentuate the lithe lines of his frame. He wore turquoise tortoiseshell glasses, his freshly washed hair hung in loose waves instead of the carefully sculpted doo he usually wore, and right at the center of his chest hung a necklace made out of butterbeer cork. Harry had never seen Draco look so carefree and unguarded. Even his Dark Mark, which Harry knew Draco went through great lengths to hide, was on display in the short sleeved shirt. He nervously crossed his arms to obscure it when he noticed Harry's gaze.

Harry looked back up to find cautious gray eyes. "You wear glasses?" He asked, immediately feeling stupid that that was the only thing he could think of to say.

Malfoy rolled his eyes and then narrowed them. "How did you know I was here, Potter?"

"Ehrm..." Harry said, panicking as he realized he hadn't thought about how he'd explain that in the slightest. "Blaise told me? He's in Gryffindor tower!" He added to make it sound more authentic.

Draco crossed his legs along with his arms and leaned against the doorframe. An unexpected smirk slowly crept onto his face. "Really?" There was humor there instead of loathing which was a pretty good sign when it came to Malfoy, Harry thought.

"Yep."

"And why would he do that?" He asked, dubiously.

"Because I wanted to speak with you?" He said.

Malfoy looked down and chuckled softly. When he looked back up at Harry through blonde lashes, something tugged at Harry's insides and he was sure it was the most breathtaking thing he'd ever seen.

"You're not a good liar, Potter. Let me guess: you couldn't mind your own business and didn't think it all the way through, per usual?"

Harry cursed his accuracy but couldn't help but smile.

"Shut it, Malfoy. Look..." he thought about it for a moment. "I'll tell you how I knew you were here if you let me in."

Malfoy cocked his head and raised an eyebrow as his eyes searched Harry critically for a few moments while he contemplated. Harry suddenly felt nervous as it occurred to him that Malfoy had absolutely no reason to let him in. He had made it clear that they weren't friends and they probably never would be and that realization hit him with an unexpected sadness. Just as he was bracing himself to head back to Gryffindor tower, Draco raised his wand and adjusted the wards to let Harry in. A bewildering mixture of joy, hope, and excitement lit up inside him as he stepped over the threshold. 

Harry followed Malfoy through Snape's office which still looked exactly as he'd remembered it: dimly lit with hundreds of slimy potions ingredients lining the walls. Malfoy walked to a door he'd never been through and said more incantations so that Harry could pass the wards into Snape's quarters.

They walked into a cozy yet dark sitting room. There were shelves full of more ominous looking books and jars around the room. A fire roared in the hearth, an empty portrait frame hung above the fireplace with fresh lilies carefully placed underneath it on the mantle. A pot of tea sat on the coffee table and Harry noticed an abandoned green blanket on a comfortable looking chair with an array of books spread out on the floor before it.

Malfoy was watching him carefully. "How'd you get in here?" Harry asked curiously.

"Nope, a deal's a deal. You tell me how you found me here first and then, just maybe... if I deem so fit... I might tell you." He said haughtily, sticking his nose into the air. 

Harry rolled his eyes and went to sit on the sofa adjacent to the chair. Malfoy came over to sit down beside him and began fixing tea. When he leaned over to grab the milk and sugar, Harry was suddenly overwhelmed by a fragrant scent of lemon shampoo that momentarily left him breathless. He looked up and stared back into gray eyes.

"Well?" Malfoy asked with a raised eyebrow, handing him a cup of tea and breaking the spell. Harry shook his head slightly and took a sip of tea (noting that it was made just the way he liked it and briefly wondering how Malfoy knew that) before pulling out the Marauders Map. He stared at the blank parchment for a long moment. What would his dad, Sirius, and Remus think about him sharing their secrets with a Malfoy? He winced slightly at the thought and then raised his wand and tapped it to the map.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He said, watching Malfoy's face light up as the map came to life.

"Woah!" He said, awestruck as he reached out to take the map and observe it closer. Harry hesitated for a moment but handed it over. "This is an amazing piece of magic! Where did it come from? Wait... How long have you had this?" He narrowed his eyes as comprehension dawned on him.

"Nuh-un-un." Harry teased. "You tell me how come you're here first and I'll tell you about the map."

"You know, the old me would've simply snatched this," he waved the map in his hand. "and used it as evidence to get you expelled and not have to tell you anything. I mean I could definitely make a case for invasion of privacy and stalking..." he said smugly. 

Harry swallowed as he realized that he really had put himself into another unnecessary, stupid situation because Malfoy really could take advantage of this situation. He didn't know why, but he really wanted to trust Draco.

"But the new you?" He asked, staring into steel gray.

Malfoy stared back for a long moment, something intense but unsaid in his eyes. He didn't break his gaze into Harry's green eyes as he lifted the map and handed it over to Harry. He felt goosebumps as their fingers brushed when he reached for the map and swallowed nervously as he felt his dick start to harden. He turned his head to break the spell and pretended to study the flames in the fireplace.

"Severus was my godfather." Malfoy began to explain after a moment. He lifted both feet up on the couch and crossed them underneath himself, angling his body to face Harry head on. Harry couldn't help but think that it was _cute_ which subsequently made him want to roll his eyes at himself. "When things were getting really bad here last year, he adjusted the wards to only allow him and I access. He was in the headmaster's quarters and he knew I would be under scrutiny from both sides and wanted me to have a place to escape all the chaos." Harry raised an eyebrow. He had come to appreciate the complexity of Snape ever since viewing his memories but the idea of him being a doting, caring godfather just seemed unreal. At least it helped explain all the special treatment Malfoy got in potions over the years, he thought. "I'd come here to hide away or study."

"Wow. And you still have access?"

"McGonagall still hasn't figured out how to break the wards. It's become quite the little sanctuary this year." Malfoy smirked.

"So that's why I've barely seen you around!" Harry exclaimed.

"I didn't realize you were looking for me." He said with a smirk and Harry felt his cheeks warm up. "What made you come looking for me tonight?" He asked, nodding at the map.

"Oh... I couldn't sleep so I pulled out the map and I'd say '_Draco Malfoy in Severus Snape's quarters_' definitely caught my eye." He laughed.

"You're not sleeping." he nodded, stating rather than asking.

Harry paused. That was the first time anyone other than Hermione or Ron had thought to ask him how he was sleeping. He shook his head solemnly.

"I can tell, you look like shite." Malfoy said matter of factly.

Harry laughed. "Always so blunt, Malfoy."

"If it makes you feel any better... I get it. I'm just better at casting good glamours, apparently. You should really learn to meditate. Mindfulness meditations help me."

It was weird having this conversation with Malfoy. They were actually revealing vulnerable things about themselves. 

"You have nightmares, too?"

"Nightmares are an understatement for the godawful things my mind likes to replay but, sure, I guess we can call them that." He said ruefully.

Harry noticed that Draco's left arm was still wrapped around his middle protectively. He'd never really stopped too long to think about what tortures Draco must've witnessed or even been forced to participate in when Voldemort took over his home. Had he been tortured, too? The idea that Voldemort might be understanding enough to leave him unscathed after he had failed to kill Dumbledore seemed unlikely.

Harry shook his head. "I thought coming back to Hogwarts would make it better. That the normalcy and routine would help bring some sort of peace."

Draco snorted. "You thought coming back to a literal war zone where you risked your life -- no, excuse me -- sacrificed your life, watched people you knew and cared about be murdered, and killed a man.... would be peaceful?" He asked, incredulously.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but then closed it with a clack. He and Malfoy stared at each other for a long moment before they both dissolved into hysterical laughter.

Minutes went by before Harry wiped the tears from his eyes and he and Draco began to catch their breath.

"You know, when you put it that way... What a stupid idea!"

"Seriously though, you would've thought McGonagall or someone would have anticipated that it would be traumatic for the lot of us." He rolled his eyes.

Harry shook his head before looking back up at Draco. "This might sound crazy, but I really thought I must be the only one having a hard time being here. Literally no one talks about it. It's like we're all trying to prove we're strong enough to persevere. Trying to show that Voldemort hasn't won by continuing to disrupt our lives or something."

Draco lifted his knees and wrapped his arms around them. He bit his lip, his glasses somehow making him look almost childlike as he stared back at Harry.

"No, you're certainly not alone but... Harry, you do realize that if there's anyone that never needs to prove anything to anyone ever again, it's you, right?"

Harry's heart jumped at the use of his given name but he was more concerned about the lump forming in his throat at the sincerity of the words spoken from the gray-eyed boy. He looked away, mortified, when a strangled noise escaped his throat and his eyes began to burn of their own accord. He hadn't cried through any of this and he was afraid that, if he did, the damn would break and he would drown.

To his credit, Malfoy, didn't say a word about Harry's tears as he warred with his emotions. He did, however, bridge the gap between them by outstretching one leg and letting his socked foot come to rest against his hip, which Harry found oddly comforting and endearing coming from Malfoy.

Harry had pulled himself together by the time Malfoy next spoke.

"Is that why you're here this year? You were hoping for normalcy?" He asked and Harry nodded. "I know you got the Auror offer so you didn't really have to come back."

"Ah, yes. The auror offer." Harry couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice. Malfoy raised an eyebrow, questioningly.

"You don't want to be an auror anymore?" He asked. 

"I don't know what I want anymore. But everyone else wants me to be an auror so that's probably what I'll do." He said, resigned.

Malfoy frowned. "Who cares what everyone else wants? You're finally free to live your life for you, why are you so afraid to do it?" Harry stared into his tea. He didn't know how to tell him that he'd lived a life where he was unloved and unwanted before and that he feared that loneliness more than anything.

"It's.... complicated." Was all he could think to say. 

Malfoy looked like he was warring with something. 

"You know... I didn't have to be here this year either." He said, pulling his leg back up to hug his knees again with one arm and, with the other, he played with the butterbeer cork necklace that Harry now recognized as Luna's -- meant to protect against nargles if he remembered correctly. "My mom wanted me to go away to France with her until things died down. I could've went to Beauxbaton with Pansy or even went away to Durmstrang with Greg. And I mean... technically, I could be ok without the NEWTS -- even with all the assets the ministry seized, our family is still wealthy enough that if I never wanted to work a day in my life I could be ok but..." this was usually the point at which he'd start boasting and Harry braced himself for it. He was surprised, however, when Draco instead just looked down at his knees, the once pompous blonde seemingly getting smaller by the second.

Harry lifted his feet onto the couch and shifted to mirror Draco. He let his legs outstretch just enough that their feet touched, hoping that the contact might be as reassuring for him as it had been for himself. Draco lifted his head at the touch and continued.

"It's just... I saw so many fucked up things happen these past two years... So many people hurt who didn't deserve it --" he choked and laid his head on his arms for a moment before he lifted his head and continued more firmly. "That didn't happen in France, it happened here! And it happened because of me! It happened because of my family and that stupid rhetoric we've been preaching for centuries!" He looked away angrily, a scowl curling his lips. "I just want to be able to help for a change. I want to figure out how to help people heal in the aftermath of all this."

Harry's heart warmed and he was overcome with an urge to reach out that he had to resist.

"So how do you help people heal?" He asked.

"Oh, you're going to love this..." He rolled his eyes. "Don't laugh!"

Harry was surprised by the response and laughed in spite of himself until a warning glare from Draco shut him up. "Ok, ok! I promise!"

"Well..." he said, twiddling with a strand on his pajamas. "I met a bloke named Harold Pots who studied psychology at some muggle place called Uni..." he paused, studying Harry's reaction. Harry just stared back at him blankly until the oddness of the statement hit him.

"Wait! You know a muggle? Who studies psychology at Uni? How on earth did that happen?!" He asked, intrigued.

Draco tilted his head, his brow furrowed and his stare intense and searching for a long moment before he slowly shook his head.

"Doesn't matter... But ever since I heard of this muggle science I've been intrigued. Wizards tend to want to fix everything with magic and when there are things going on mentally and emotionally we simply don't talk about it, as you've pointed out. Most mind healers focus on magical maladies resulting from faulty spellwork --"

"Like Lockhart."

Draco narrowed his eyes at the interruption but continued. "Yes, like Lockhart. Muggles, on the other hand, have studied the human mind and the affects of experiences and trauma on the human psyche for centuries. Wizards haven't really explored how to translate muggle psychology to the experiences of witches and wizards. I'm sure that if we better understood the science," he said, lifting up his book from the coffee table which Harry only now noticed was titled The Neuropsychology of PTSD. "We could combine magic with some of their empirically proven muggle methods for healing to create a completely revolutionary form of mind healing."

Harry just blinked up at him stupidly with his mouth slightly ajar in shock as Draco finished up his Hermione-like speech, the glasses making him look all the nerdier. He didn't know what he had been expecting Draco to say, but that certainly had not been it! His mind, heart and... something else.... all seemed to be going haywire as he tried to make sense of this new information. He couldn't tell if it was getting to see this new side of the boy who had once been his enemy, the fact that he seemed so genuinely sincere in his desire to change his biases and help others, or he fact that he had decided to take a deep dive into understanding muggles but, whatever it was, it was suddenly the most heartwarming and, Merlin help him, sexiest thing in the world. Suddenly, something became glaringly hard to ignore.

"Holy shit, I might actually be gay." He breathed.

"_What_?" Draco started, completely nonplussed.

Some part of Harry's mind registered that this must be what Fawkes feels before she combusts because surely he was on the verge of bursting into flame and turning into a neat little pile of ash if the way his cheeks flamed was any indication.

"I said 'Holy shit, that might actually be great!' Yea, that's great, Malfoy! Brilliant!" He smiled, only somewhat awkwardly.

Draco's eyes gleamed and he bit his lip, amused. "Are you sure you didn't say something else?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No! Nope! Continue!" He forced a grin.

Draco chuckled but continued. "There's so little info here and I realize that if I really want to understand the psychology of it then I'd need to learn from the experts. So, I've been thinking about it and... I've decided to apply to a few universities for next year with top notch psychology programs..." he finished shyly, two faint red spots appearing over his cheeks.

"What?! Draco, are you serious?!" He said, too excited to even notice that he'd switched to his given name.

Draco lifted his chin defensively. "So what of it?"

"No, Draco-- that's bloody brilliant!" Harry exclaimed! He had been raised muggle but the idea of leaving the wizarding world for a few years to pursue a degree at uni had never even occurred to him. And to hear Draco, who had once thought of muggles as something less than human, sound thrilled about learning from them was... unfathomable!

Draco smiled -- not in the smug way that he usually did but it was toothy and unguarded. "I mostly came back because I know that if I get accepted I'm going to be a giant squid out of water in the muggle world and I figured I could use all the muggle studies I could get. Plus, I figure if I can get enough NEWTS, I can simultaneously do an internship at St. Mungos and maybe become a healer." He shrugged.

Harry glanced at the books spread out on the floor: Home Life and Social Habits of British Muggles; Muggles Who Notice; My Life as a Muggle; and Cooking the Muggle Way.

"Well, you know I was raised by muggles so if you ever need any help stuuu-dying..." he yawned. The sleep was finally starting to hit him. He laid back and rested his eyes for a moment.

There was a long silence before he heard the distant voice of Malfoy saying: "Thanks, Potter."

* * *

Draco watched as Harry drifted off to sleep. It was the most peaceful he'd ever seen the green eyed boy look. He grabbed his blanket off of the chair and draped it over him and Harry stirred only briefly as he pulled it closely, a faint smile on his lips.

"Insolent fool! What did you _do_?"

Draco looked up to see Snape frowning down at him from his portrait with a pinched expression.

"What was the one stipulation that we agreed upon when I adjusted these wards to include you?" He hissed.

"That I never abuse it or invite anyone else beyond the wards." And he hadn't. He'd had to tell Blaise so that he wouldn't worry when he disappeared overnight but even he had never set foot beyond the wards.

He sighed, knowing that Snape would never let him live this down. He looked back towards Harry sleeping peacefully and thought about their conversation and decided that it was worth the wrath of his godfather. He had been on edge and conflicted ever since his father's letter but now, for the first time in a very long time, he felt like he was making the right choice. 

"Besides the wards, now is probably the most dangerous time that you could possibly choose to do something as idiotic and ill-advised as to get close to Harry Potter!" Draco started to protest but Snape sneered knowingly. "You do realize that you and Potter can never be friends?" Draco stilled. "Not only is there little chance that the public would approve of their precious Harry Potter getting close to a death eater but, in the current climate, it could literally get you killed!"

He looked back at Harry and all the thoughts of sitting out on the lake or going for drinks at the Three Broomsticks that he hadn't even realized he was fantasizing about began to dissolve.

"Even if you do manage to convince the others to let you be your own free entity, it's best that you at least appear to be neutral. Nothing could possibly be more revealing of where you stand than befriending the very symbol of the light! They will not allow it, Draco!"

"I know, Severus." He said as he walked off towards the bedroom.

"Next thing I know, this place will be crawling with Potter's idiot Gryffindor friends. No respect --" He heard Snape muttering to himself as he closed the bedroom door.

His godfather was a man of simple tastes and the bedroom only contained a large four poster bed in the middle of the room, a wardrobe in the left corner, a desk in the right corner, and a chair in front of the fireplace along the left wall. He said a quick spell to turn off the lights and climbed under the covers.

Severus was right, of course. He had firecalled his mother that first day. At first, she insisted that he leave Hogwarts immediately and join her in the South of France. When he refused, she reassured him that she did not expect him to take on Lucious' causes ever again and that anything that happened to him would be his fault, not Draco's. 

He had wrestled with his conscious for days before he had found a very Slytherin compromise: when Theo finally approached him, he very coolly said that he was tired of the drama and would be perfectly content to pass along the reigns to Theo. Draco knew that the thick headed boy's ego could not resist the opportunity for leadership and he was just slow enough that Draco didn't fear real danger coming of whatever half-baked schemes he might come up with. By doing this, he had essentially talked himself into a neutral position. It was a precarious position but if only he could stay quiet and not draw attention to the fact that he actually thought everything they stood for was bollocks now, at least until he could hopefully escape to uni, then both he and Lucius should be alright. 

He had thought it brilliant at the time but now his mind strayed to the sleeping boy on the couch who believed in him even when he had no reason to... The boy who he could no longer deny that he cared too much for and who cared too much for him... And the fact that everything in this world suggested that that was unacceptable...

He felt anger and sadness build in his every nerve till he punched out and kicked at the mattress in silent fury until his muscles ached. He was surprised when the tears came -- he had learned long ago not to let them out but, in the privacy of the pitch darkness, he buried his face in his pillow and let them flow until he'd fallen asleep. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

Harry woke up with a start, still on the couch and now drapped in a green blanket that smelled wonderfully like lemon shampoo. He breathed in the scent and felt himself melt into the cushions as he relaxed. He sleepily cast a tempus charm and nearly jumped off the couch when he realized he had only 20 minutes before double potions! He was already struggling in the class without the help of the Half Blood Prince and he couldn't afford to be late. There was no way he'd make it up to Gryffindor tower and back in time, though. He cringed at the idea of having to take the extra lessons Slughorn kept hinting at.

"Malfoy?!" He shouted, looking around the room.

His panic eased as he noticed the jumper, trousers, and school robes laid out on the chair and a tray with toast, eggs, sausage and fruit spread out on the coffee table.

"Malfoy?" He asked again. He knocked on the door to what must be the bedroom and got no response.

He walked over to the clothes laid out for him and rolled his eyes. Of course they were posh. He undressed quickly and slipped on the soft cashmere jumper (Ok, he had to give it to Malfoy because it really did feel amazing against his skin) and the trousers. He had expected them to be too long for him since Malfoy was a few inches taller but apparently he'd even had the foresight to transfigure them shorter! The robes, too!

He smiled. Never in a million years would he have thought that Malfoy could have a sweet, nerdy, thoughtful side. It was really quite charming and absolutely surreal.

Harry scarfed down some breakfast (surprised to find that he not only had an appetite, but he was feeling ravenous) and then headed to class which was mercifully right down the corridor.

"Oh, Harry!" He recognized Hermione's worried voice as he hurried into the classroom just in time. He took his usual seat next to Hermione and looked around to see Malfoy, perfectly sculpted hair back in place and Malfoy mask back on. He was a table back talking to Zabini and the Greengrass girl and very pointedly _not_ glancing at Harry. Ron's voice snapped him back to attention.

"Where were you, mate?" He said from Hermione's other side. "I woke up to use the loo and you were gone. I figured you must've went for a walk but then you never came back..."

"Had us worried sick -- disappearing in the night without a word!" Hermione admonished. "And I know you haven't wanted to eat in the Great Hall but when you didn't even show up to snag breakfast from the kitchens we didn't know what to make of it!" She rambled.

"I'm fine!" He glanced at Malfoy who seemed to be listening although he was still avidly avoiding looking in his direction. "I just went for a walk to clear my head last night and fell asleep by the lake. I'm fine." He reassured them.

Ron gave him a wry look and nodded. Hermione searched his eyes. "Well... ok..."

"Really, I'm fine, Hermione. Sorry to have worried you." He said sincerely.

She smiled warmly. "-- wait... Harry, whose jumper is that?"

Harry froze.

"Alright, class!" Said Slughorn as he called them to attention. "Today you will be revising the Draught of Peace!"

Harry's stomach dropped and he heard groans around the room. The last time he'd attempted that potion had ended disastrously with Snape vanishing the contents of his cauldron.

"It's my understanding that you all got a go at it in 5th year. As you might remember, it is a very complicated, advanced potion with many steps and dire consequences if brewed incorrectly. And it most certainly will make an appearance on your NEWT exams." Harry felt Hermione stiffen beside him. Slughorn clapped his hands together and bounced on the balls of his feet. "Ok, let's get to it! Oh -- but do be careful! I wouldn't want anyone falling into an irreversible sleep on my watch!"

Harry took his time and slowly followed the instructions, beads of sweat forming on his head as he concentrated. Everything was going fine up until step 7 when, instead of his potion turning red, it turned a swampy green! He sighed, realizing he still had 10 more steps to go.

Slughorn came round at that moment. "Harry, my boy! Oh my..." he said looking into his cauldron. "Let's talk about those additional lessons after class. I really think you should reconsider. I'm sure it would be a real treat for both of us!"

Harry sighed as Slughorn walked off. He looked around him. Hermione was bent low over her cauldron, her hair turned into a particularly frizzy mess from the steam and her face screwed up in deep concentration as she carefully added in the hellebore one drop at a time. Ron was busy dodging green sparks while reciting a litany of swear words.

"Well done, Mr. Malfoy." Came Slughorn from behind him. Harry turned around to see Malfoy eyeing his own potion with pride as he watched it simmer in its final step, already turning a torqouis blue and emitting silvery vapors.

Harry's mouth dropped open. "How do you even _do_ that?!" He asked incredulously without thinking.

Malfoy didn't take his eyes off his potion as he screwed up his face in indignation. "I --" he lifted his head and gray eyes found Harry's. He closed his mouth and seemed to be struggling to bite his tongue.

Harry chuckled. "Go ahead, say it." Malfoy fought back a smile and shook his head which just made Harry laugh harder. He was finding an unexpected sense of joy in being able to put cracks in the Malfoy mask. "You look like you're having a fit, you might as well go ahead and say it! You know you want to!" He teased, smiling mischievously.

Malfoy composed himself again and turned back to his cauldron, carefully bottling a few vials. "Bug off, Potter, I told you I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Finish your potion."

"Ok, I'll say it for you: 'I know how to follow directions, you bumbling twit!'" He said in his poshest voice.

Malfoy put his head down and laughed into the table. "I was going to say '_imbecile_' but, close enough." He picked his head up and flashed Harry a brilliant smile that melted his heart which subsequently seemed to drop down into his groin when Malfoy bit his lip.

It took him a moment to notice Hermione beaming up at him or Ron and Zabini staring between him and Draco with eyebrows raised in confusion (and maybe a little bit of disgust for Ron, who really should have been paying attention to his potion as it was now shaking dangerously).

Harry decided to ignore them. His own potion was starting to bubble where no one else's had. "Do you know how to fix this?" He leaned to the side so that Malfoy could see from where he sat at the table behind him. Malfoy actually stood and walked over to stand beside him.

"Well..." he said, examining Harry's work. "This is poison." He pointed at the contents of the cauldron and Harry's face dropped.

"Seriously?!" How could it have gone so wrong?

Malfoy conjured up a seat at the table. Harry noticed his eyes dart somewhat nervously around the room for a brief moment. He looked, too. Hermione was still smiling to herself unabashedly as she bottled her potion and Ron had returned his attention to his cauldron but he looked like he might be sick. Zabini had seemingly abandoned his potion altogether to stare at the two of them, mouth open wide. Greengrass sat beside him, mouth also slightly agape with the distinct look of wheels turning and pieces clicking into place. Padma and Parvarti had their heads together, whispering, and both Theodore Nott and Michael Corner were frowning angrily. For the first time, Harry noticed that a portrait of Snape, himself, had wandered into the portrait frame at the front of the room and he, too, looked miffed. Ernie Macmillan, who was busy finishing up his potion, was the only one who seemed not to have noticed the apparent spectacle of Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy being friendly.

"Merlin, Potter! You're _really_ bad at this! You were doing ok last year, what on earth happened?" Harry felt his face heat up. "_Accio powdered bezoar._"

Harry watched as Malfoy reached up and caught the little jar with Seeker reflexes. "It's too late to start over but if you put in a pinch of powdered bezoar it should neutralize it and bring you back to step 6." Harry did as he was told and the potion went back to a bright purple. He smiled up at Malfoy.

"Now show me how you shook your powdered porcupine quills."

Harry grabbed his jar full of porcupine quills and shook it side to side. "No, no -- you have to do it harder than that. Try doing it up and down and faster like you're.... Nevermind." He stopped himself but smiled mischievously.

"Oh." He said as he did it and felt the difference. It was another moment before it dawned on Harry what Malfoy had been insinuating. "Oh. Oh!" His face began to heat up once more and Malfoy smirked.

"That's good." He said. Harry added the powdered quills and watched it turn red!

"Thanks, Malfoy!" He exclaimed.

"Now if you want to get done with this before class ends, you can switch up the stirring. One big stir followed by one tight stir can really speed up the process."

Harry glanced up at him as he began stirring. "How do you even know all of this? What, did your godfather get you a potions set as a baby or something?"

Draco snorted. "Why yes, he did, actually."

He reached over and grabbed Harry's wrist and Harry's breath caught.

"One big stir, one tight stir." He said as he directed his arm for a couple of turns before letting go. "You see, you got it!" He said as it turned orange and then turquoise.

"Wow." They reached the point of simmering much sooner than Harry could ever have hoped or expected. "Thanks again, Malfoy!"

Malfoy shrugged.

"Very nice work!" Said Hermione from his left. "Hey, Draco? Will you be joining us in the dueling club tomorrow? It's the first meeting of the year and Harry will be leading. You could help get the younger Slytherins involved and maybe help teach them some things!"

Malfoy gaped at her for a moment. Finally, he found his bearings. "No, quite frankly I don't see the point. Apparently all we really need in life is Expelliarmus, anyways."

Hermione looked affronted but Harry laughed and even Ron snorted.

* * *

Draco made haste to leave the potions room as soon as they were dismissed. He had a free period now and he was hoping to avoid the questions that were sure to come from his fellow Slytherins. But alas, he'd have no such luck.

He hadn't made it halfway down the corridor before he was shoved into a dark classroom.

"What are you doing, Draco?" It was Theo. Draco had long considered him a friend until their friendship inevitably started to dissipate as Draco's values began to diverge. Theo's dad had been one of the earliest and most devoted supporters of the Dark Lord and he, like Lucius, was still awaiting trial in Azkaban.

"I am busy minding my business, Theo. You should try it." He quipped.

Theo crossed his arms and stepped closer. "I don't know what you're playing at Draco but I need to know where you stand. You can't play both sides, you have to pick a side!"

Draco sighed. "There are no sides anymore, Theo. We lost. We have no side. And I'm _tired_ of sides!"

Theo's face turned red and contorted with rage as he gripped his wand tightly in his fist.

"You know, I wanted to believe that all this new leaf shite was a cowardly act to save your arse but _giggling_ with Harry Potter while our fathers lie in jail and our Lord is dead because of him?!" He spat at Draco's feet. Draco gripped his own wand and raised it, feeling anger course through him. "But I guess now all of that is ok with you and you're fine being his slave all because Potter got _you _off."

They both had their wands pointed at each other's chest at this point and Draco was just on the verge of cursing him when the door flew open and the small room was flooded with light.

Blaise sauntered into the room coolly, though his wand was drawn as he joined Draco at his side. "Tsk tsk tsk. Theo, are you incapable of playing nicely?"

Theo was seething as he eyed both wands contemplatively for a long moment before he finally lowered his own, resigned.

"Watch your back, Malfoy." He threatened as he walked out the room.

Draco stormed after him but Blaise grabbed his arm and stopped him just outside the classroom. "What was _that _about?"

Blaise was lucky. His family had always been neutral in the war so he was able to navigate all of the drama as a witness and not as a participant.

"Just more death eaters have to stick together, Harry Potter is bad, I'm a disgraceful piece of shite." He rolled his eyes and started walking down the corridor towards the main entrance. "I might as well have been talking to my father."

"Ah." Blaise said simply, nodding as he followed Draco. He kept nodding as he said: "So about Harry Potter... What _was _that in there?!"

Draco rolled his eyes. He was still peeved from Nott and did _not_ want to have this conversation right now. "It was nothing. Look, Blaise, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later." He said as he started to walk off but Blaise reached out and put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Look, I don't know what's going on with you and Potter but..." there was concern in his eyes. "Just be careful, Draco..."

He felt his temper rising and it only peaked when he looked over Blaise's shoulder to find Portrait Snape looking at him with crossed arms and a scornful expression.

"I get it! I get it! I swear to Merlin, if one more person tells me how stupid or disgraceful or undeserving I am to be friends with Harry Fucking Potter today I'm going to lose it!" And he stomped off leaving Blaise gaping speechlessly behind him.

He kept his eyes down and walked purposefully hoping to make it to the lake without further incident. He made it outside the heavy oak doors and signed with relief as the cool fall air hit his face. He closed his eyes and breathed it in greedily, letting it slowly assuage his anger but subsequently exposing the hurt that lie underneath it. He felt a knot form in his throat but quickly took another deep breath and resurrected his Malfoy mask because he would be damned if he cried in public over not being able to be friends with Harry Potter! If it didn't happen when he was 11, then he wouldn't let it happen now!

He heard a loud sniff to his left and opened his eyes. Parvati Patil stood on the steps, eyes welling with tears as she looked around, lost. Draco looked at her awkwardly and then gazed wistfully towards the lake he so desperately wanted to already be sitting at, his free period promptly dwindling away. He sighed. Whatever Theo thought, this new leaf shite was real and took a lot more work and selflessness than he ever would've thought it would.

"Parvati?" He half expected her to tell him to leave her alone. He couldn't remember a time that they'd ever had an actual conversation and if he had ever spoken to her, he wouldn't have been surprised if it were only to say something mean because she was a Gryffindor and, let's face it, he _had_ been a self-important prick, afterall.

"Oh. Draco. Hi." She blinked up at him and the tears rolled down her face.

Draco crossed the distance and gingerly put a hand on her shoulder. He was surprised when she turned into the embrace and buried her head into his side as she began to sob full on. He never knew what to do when people cried and now looked around feeling extremely awkward. Luckily, no one else on the grounds seemed to have noticed the exchange. Mother was the most nurturing person he knew. What would mother do if it were him? He hesitated a beat before wrapping his arm around her tightly and pulling her closer.

"It's ok." He reassured, rubbing gentle circles on her back.

After a few minutes, the cries eased and she finally pulled back from the embrace. She sniffed loudly and wiped her tears with the sleeves of her robes. "Oh, dear. I'm so sorry, Draco. Look at me, I'm a right mess!"

"Who isn't these days?" He joked. He walked a little to the side and sat down on a step, patting the seat next to him. "What happened?"

She looked a little taken aback but, with another loud sniff, she walked over and sat down next to him. "I was just with Padma and I stopped to talk with Justin and she must've kept walking and gone on to class because when I turned around I couldn't find her..." she put her hands on face. "I sound so silly! Unlike some twins, Padma and I have never had a problem doing our own thing and living our separate lives but... ever since the war and ever since Lavender..." she teared up again and Draco waited until she was ready to continue. "And it's been hard as Lavender's birthday approaches. Every year we'd get really excited for the Halloween feast because it was the kickoff of her birthday week." She stared at her knees.

Draco nudged her with his own knee. "What are you going to do to celebrate her?"

She gasped. "Oh, no! I couldn't!" She said shaking her head vigorously.

"Why not? Those memorials we had were bullocks." She looked shocked but he just shrugged. "They were just mass acknowledgements and now we all walk around like it was supposed to be enough for us to move on. Like moving on means we should just accept and forget." He shook his head. "That's not how grieving works. We only truly reach acceptance when we can allow ourselves to remember until the pain and bitterness isn't as strong anymore. And it happens in stages. And sometimes it's complicated..." He looked over to find Parvarti teary eyed but listening raptly.

"Like with Vincent." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm not ready yet. Whatever love I have for him is still mixed up with anger and disappointment and hurt and I know I'm not ready to touch it yet." His eyes were burning but he swallowed and quickly changed the subject.

"And sometimes it's more straightforward. My godfather died in the war. He was a spy for the order and I'm so proud of all the things he did to protect me and others -- many of which will never be known to or acknowledged by most. But everyday I talk to his annoying arse portrait and whenever I'm home I pick his favorite flowers from my mother's garden for him. I take time to be grateful and proud of all the things he's contributed to my life or that I know because of him. It's all my way of reminding myself of his life and what he's done."

She smiled through her tears. "That's beautiful, Draco!" He shrugged shyly. It was weirdly cathartic talking about this.

"This one might seem.... weird... considering the whole wrong side of the war thing and the whole plot to kill him..." he couldn't bring himself to look at Parvati at this, he still wrestled with so much shame and guilt around what happened on that tower. "But, before he died... Dumbledore was the one person to try to offer me a way out before he was killed." He pointed towards Dumbledore's grave across the lake. "I like to sit near his tomb and eat his favorite candies in remembrance. Dumbledore was a man who lived to instill hope and wisdom and... even as he was dying he tried to give that to me..." he choked. He was surprised when there were hands on his back. "When I sit there I try to hold on to that hope and remind myself that Dumbledore thought me worthy of redemption and Dumbledore was always right so that means I can do it." He laughed softly and gave a shy, wry smile. She squeezed him into a hug and kissed the top of his head.

"Thank you, Draco." She wiped her tears with her sleeves again. "I really needed that and, you're right. I think I will try to celebrate her. It might be hard but maybe some of the other eighth years will do it with me, for support, you know."

Draco nodded. "That sounds excellent!"

Parvati laughed. "You know, I've heard that Harry is a pretty good baker muggle style, maybe I could get him to bake a cake."

His heart sped up at this but he kept his mask in place. She was watching his reaction closely and he didn't know what to say. Mercifully, if not embarrassingly, she spared him by just asking the question she'd wanted to ask.

"Draco, are you and Harry dating?" He eyed her seriously for a moment. She seemed genuinely curious but not in the way that most people were: because they wanted to tell him what he should or shouldn't do or judge him or just for pure entertainment.

"Parvati, you just said that like anyone would ever be ok with me dating Harry Potter." He said ruefully.

She shrugged. "Some people might not but some of us really do see you trying. Padma and I are in a study group with Ernie, Hannah, and Neville. Sometimes Luna joins. She told us that everyday that she was held captive you would visit her to sneak her food and chat with her and try to cheer her up. She says you're what kept her light from going out." He fiddled with the butterbeer cork that hung around his neck. His unexpected bond with Luna was one of the purest things to have come out of all of the mayhem. Her understanding and forgiveness and genuine desire that he be ok and protected, even if it was from Nargles or whatever the hell they were, might be the most cherished gift that he possessed. She might say that he was there for her, but in those dark days at the manor, her bizarre stories and cryptic encouragements were often what kept him going, too.

"And Ernie told us that you're in his muggle studies classes and all about why you want to take them." He felt his cheeks heat up. "We all think it's wonderful! It might take some time for people to see you in a new light but, you're right. If Dumbledore said it, it must be possible." She smirked and Draco smiled. 

"Thank you for that, Parvati. And no, Harry and I aren't dating. I wouldn't even call us friends... We're just not enemies anymore." He said, truthfully.

"Shame. You two really would be cute together." She said, nudging him with her elbow. "All I know is that I can't remember seeing either of you laugh or smile in at least the past 3 years like you did today during potions." She said teasingly as she stood to head back to the castle.

Draco couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. He watched as she walked towards the entrance hall and paused before she went in.

"I'll let you know about the party for Lavender and the cake. And if you ever want to join our study group, we'd be happy to have you."

Draco nodded and she disappeared through the great oak doors.

As he sat there, pensive, he heard a chorus of: "Hi, Draco!"

He turned around to see the unlikely grouping of Wilamina, Walden, and Ariela. They had a couple of other first years with them who looked just as frightened as the three did when they had first met him. Ariela actually skipped over to hug him and instead of cringing or shooing her away, he smiled and gave her a big squeeze back. 

"Are you and Harry _ever _going to give the flying lessons?" Whined Wilamina. 

Draco decided on the spot, a defiant smile making its way across his face. "You know, I think we will." 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

Harry wasn't feeling well that Saturday morning. Surprisingly, he'd actually slept last night. In fact he'd gone to bed early and woken up 12 hours later, just before he was supposed to head down to the Great Hall for the dueling club.

"You alright, mate?" Asked Ron when he finally came down to the common room. Harry sat down heavily in the chair across from Ron and Hermione who were snuggled close on the couch near the fireplace. Ron handed him a plate of breakfast but Harry shook his head at it.

"You should eat, Harry." Said Hermione. "You've got a big day ahead of you! Are you excited for the dueling club?" She asked cheerfully.

"No, I'm pretty sure I could puke." He said sinking further into the cushions.

"It's just a bit of nerves, Harry. Have you thought about what the first lesson will be?"

Harry yawned widely. He didn't know why he still felt so tired. It was like his energy was just leaking out of him by the minute.

"I say do what Malfoy said, just teach them all _Expelliarmus._" Ron laughed before popping a bit of toast into his mouth.

Harry felt a jolt at that. "You want me to do something based off of what Malfoy said?"

Ron shrugged. "Speaking of which, you went off to bed super early last night and we never got to talk about what in the _bloody hell _that was with Malfoy in potions!"

Harry felt his cheeks warm and reached for a piece of toast to stall. "It wasn't anything." He finally said once he'd swallowed. "I was just doing what Hermione's been going on about, you know, bridging the gap? Making friends? Interhouse unity and all that?"

Ron screwed his face up in revulsion. "Do you know how bizarre that is? I mean, even I can admit he's not nearly as big of a prat this year but he's still Malfoy." He said through a mouth full of eggs.

"Come off it, Ron. Didn't you hear what he did for Parvati? Or what Ernie said he's doing in Muggle Studies? Even helping Harry yesterday was something new. It seems like he's really trying."

Harry really appreciated Hermione in that moment. His heart warmed.

Ron shook his head. "I don't trust it, he's still a Slytherin. And with Zabini trying to put the moves on Ginny, I bet they're up to something."

Hermione laughed. "_Put the moves on Ginny_?! You just don't want Ginny dating! I don't see why you even bother, Ron! You already know she's going to do what she wants and with who she wants."

Ron looked pained. "Please don't say that, Hermione! I'm still holding out hope that you two will get back together just so I don't have to worry about her." He said to Harry. "I mean, you're not even interested in any other girls, you don't think it's worth reconsidering?"

Harry shook his head. "I reeeally doubt that will happen, Ron."

Ron nodded and then his gaze wandered as if a lightbulb had gone off. He gave Harry a sidelong glance for a moment and then turned to Hermione wide-eyed. She gave him the "_We'll talk later_" look and it left Harry baffled.

"What was _that_?" He asked incredulously, looking between Ron and Hermione. Ron looked at him innocently though his eyes were still wide and Hermione just smiled.

"Nothing! I just want you to be happy. Just... be very careful if you plan on getting closer to Malfoy. He _is_ still Malfoy."

Harry dropped his face into his hands and massaged his temples. "Hermione, I really don't feel good. Is it too late to back out of this?"

"Yes. And it's starting in 15 minutes so we'd better get a move on!" She beamed.

Fourteen minutes later and they stood facing a packed great hall full of students standing on tiptoes to get a look at him. He fought hard to keep smiling and not roll his eyes at all the yells of "_Hi, Harry!_" and "_Hi, Mr. Potter!_" from the littler ones who, if he was being real, were actually quite cute.

"Quiet down everyone!" Called Flitwick from atop the head table, Professor Merrywhip at his side as an apparent aid. "We're going to get started!" The voices throughout the hall came to a hush. "Now, I'm sure he needs no introduction but we should all be very honored that he has agreed to be with us today and lead you in some dueling basics. Harry Potter." He nodded towards Harry and Harry was greeted to a round of applause as he walked up to the head table and faced the room. He was starting to feel lightheaded and he really wanted to get out of the spotlight as soon as possible in case he fainted.

"Hello, everyone. Welcome to the first meeting of the dueling club. Today we're going to learn the basics of dueling including etiquette, stance, and your 3 basic dueling spells, which are?" He asked the room at large. 

A second year who reminded him an awful lot like a young Hermione bounced up and down on the balls of her feet as she raised her hand. Harry smiled warmly and briefly glanced at Hermione who did the same.

"And your name is?"

"Stephanie Dillion, Ravenclaw. I believe it's _protego, expelliarmus, _and _stupefy._" She said proudly.

"Correct! Shield, disarm, and stun. 10 points to Ravenclaw!" He said, belatedly looking to Hermione with wide eyes as he realized that he didn't even think he had the power to give house points.

"Yes, 10 points for Ravenclaw." She nodded, her head girl status ensuring that Stephanie got her points.

"But those are the easy ones!" A third year Slytherin shouted. "When are you going to teach us how to conjure a patronus?"

Harry leaned back to casually sit on the head table (which secretly made him feel quite rebellious) and crossed his arms.

"What's your name?"

"Zachary Starck."

"Zachary, we might get to patronuses but, honestly, unless your duel is with a dementor then it's probably not going to help you too much for our purposes today. Now as for the _'easy' _spells, how many of you have ever used any of those 3 spells outside the classroom, while moving, and while being fired at?

Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, Luna, Seamus, Dean, Parvati, Padma, Ernie and Hannah all raised their hands. There was a hush across room. "Ladies and gentlemen, Dumbledore's Army." There were more applause as his friends gave curt bows of their heads and Luna gave a pageant wave. He smiled at her before continuing.

"It's a large group of you so members of the DA are here to help assist. I assure you that most of the spells we learn might be easy to cast while stationary but are mighty difficult when there's an unforgivable headed towards you."

He was so grateful that the DA had agreed to help out. Ron and Seamus demonstrated proper stance and etiquette while he took a much needed breather. He was starting to feel downright dizzy. Hermione instructed everyone to break off into dueling pairs.

"Ok guys, the DA will walk among you to give you tips, answer any questions you may have, and unstun you. For now, I want you to only practice those 3 spells. I don't want to see any wandlight that's any color other than red!"

The DA members dispersed among the crowd and the younger years excitedly started their duels. Harry watched the rain of red wand light from stunners shower the room. As he watched, his heart started beating faster and his adrenaline pumped. Then something truly odd happened: One minute he was in dueling club and the next he was transported back to the Battle of Hogwarts. He looked around the room and everyone was fighting for their lives. A little boy who looked a lot like Colin Creevey in his first year was hit with a light that he could've sworn was green instead of red. This was all his fault! They were going to die and it was all his fault! He suddenly was stricken with the thought that he really wanted his mom and dad. Did he have to die again? And, if he did, would he be able to see them again without the resurrection stone? He turned his head to look along the head table and panicked when he saw a line of dead bodies, Remus, Tonks and Fred, all bloodied and staring unseeingly with vacant eyes, lie nearest to him. He started to scream in terror but then the fog started to ebb away at his brain.

* * *

Harold Pots came to in a room full of strangely dressed kids screaming and brandishing wooden sticks that were shooting out weird lasers.

"Where in the _fuck _am I?! And _what _is going on?!" He shouted.

"Harry, are you alright, mate?" Asked Ron.

"My name's Harold, not Harry! And what in the fuck is going on?" He said, starting to panic.

Ron exchanged a glance with Neville and Hermione reached them seconds later.

"What's going on?" She echoed.

"I don't know." Ron said, concern etched on his face. "I think he might've been confounded."

Hermione pointed her wand at him and chanted _"Finite!"_

"Ahh! Don't point that laser stick at me!" He got up and backed away towards the edge of hall. "I don't know what kind of weird, freaky deaky cult shite this is," he looked down at his robes, "but I've got to get home!" He threw his own wand on the floor to a chorus of gasps and then tossed off his robes to don jeans and a tshirt, instead. 

* * *

Draco was lounging peacefully in Snape's quarters that Halloween afternoon, still in his pajamas and eating biscuits, lazily draped across the chair as he studied. Snape sat quietly in his frame, now donning reading glasses and absorbed in a painted copy of _Potions Digest. _

He was startled bolt upright when a loud banging came from the corridor outside Snape's office. He exchanged a silent look with his godfather, who simply looked annoyed, and Draco grabbed his wand.

He walked quickly and stealthily through Snape's office to where someone was clearly kicking at the door. He was sure the wards couldn't be breached but he readied his wand all the same.

"Draco! Draco, I know you're in there!" Came Blaise's voice.

He threw the door open forcibly and pointed his wand at his friend who was now laughing.

"Blaise, you nearly gave me a heart attack! What is _wrong _with you?" He grabbed a cloak from by the door and stepped out into the cold corridor.

"You look cute with glasses." Blaise said, a suggestive note in his voice.

Draco rolled his eyes, he had completely forgotten he was wearing them. "I look like a swot." He said as he took them off and slid them into his robe pocket. He shivered and pulled the cloak closer. "What do you want_, _Blaise?"

"Lunch."

"I'm not hungry." He said, annoyed as he turned back towards Snape's office.

Blaise reached out and grabbed his arm. "But I _am. _And if you make me eat alone I'll stand here and kick at this door all day and draw attention to your hidey hole." Draco sighed, resigned. "Plus, I want to sit out by the lake and talk about Potter."

Draco narrowed his eyes. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Ooh! Maybe we'll catch a glimpse of him doing his dueling thing. Hero boy in action!"

He rolled his eyes and turned back to the office. "Let me just get ready."

Blaise grabbed his arm again. "You look fine. No one is worried about how you're dressed. Come on, I'm hungry!" 

"But my _haair_\--" he whined as Blaise pulled him down the hall. He still had morning bedhead and that was just uncouth. 

Blaise stopped and pinned him against the wall. "You look fine, trust me." He said as he licked up his neck to the soft part under his ear.

Draco whimpered involuntarily as his eyes closed and he started to melt -- that is until one nagging thought popped into his head. "Blaise. If you are licking me with a tongue that's been anywhere near Ginny Weasley's twat last night I swear to Merlin I _will _kill you."

Blaise backed away laughing. "Oops!"

Draco wiped at his neck with his cloak sleeve in disgust. "Blaise Zabini, you need boundaries." He took out his wand and waved it in one fluid motion. _"Accio hair potion."_

Blaise gave a hearty chuckle. "You're probably right." he said as Draco caught a tin of Sleakeazy's Hair Potion out of the air and rubbed it through his hair which magically went back to it's regular, perfect form.

They headed off to the kitchens. They expected the halls to be clear with most students presumably doing the "_dueling thing_" so when they came across a big crowd in the foyer outside the Great Hall, they were baffled. Everyone was standing on tip toes trying to watch some type of commotion.

"What's going on?" He asked Astoria who was closest to him.

"We don't know. Potter was confounded or something during dueling practice! Now he's freaking out and saying that his name is Harold or something and won't let anyone near him to undo the spell."

Draco's heart stopped for a moment and then threatened to beat out of his chest. He pushed through to the front of the crowd without another thought.

Potter was backed up against the wall next to the grand staircase, his arms thrown in front of his face defensively as Granger tried to get a good look at him to cast another spell. Finnigan and Thomas tried to keep the crowd from getting too close while Weasley and Longbottom looked on worriedly. Luna Lovegood was dancing and waving her wand through the air, presumably trying to rid the air of Wrackspurts or the likes. Flitwick was giving orders for someone to get madam Pomfrey and Merrywhip just stood there helplessly. The scene was complete chaos!

Ginny was at Harry's side trying to calm him down but he kept throwing his arms up and pushing away from her.

"Leave me ALONE! DON'T _TOUCH _ME!" He shouted in a plea desperate enough to break Draco's heart.

"I don't understand!" Granger said on the verge of tears as she tried again to cast the right spell. "Nothing's working!"

"Hermione..."

A hush grew around him and more and more eyes turned in his direction. Granger turned, wide eyes on him, too, just as surprised by the use of her first name as everyone else but it was important that she listen to him. He had a hunch that she might be the only one who could understand. He doubted most of the students even knew what dissociating was yet alone why Harry might be doing it. But she was the brightest witch in their year and one of Potter's best friends. 

"He's dissociating. He's done this before." He said slowly, giving her a significant look. He saw comprehension dawn on her face.

"What?!" Said Weasley, screwing up his face in confusion. "When would you have seen this before?"

"Summer before 6th year?" Granger whispered, barely audible, confirming his suspicion and making him suddenly very glad that Harry had actually told his friend. It also explained why she had suddenly been so nice to him, but, he'd worry about putting those pieces together later.

He looked around at the staring crowd. Everyone was dressed in robes and many people had on wizard hats which he knew was probably freaking Potter out. He sighed. He slipped off his cloak and handed it to Blaise, he and Astoria having made it through the crowd and to his side. He wasn't surprised when he heard the gasps, he was still in his pajamas so it was inevitable that some people had seen his dark mark. He handed his wand to Granger, remembering that Harry was put off by the strange "sticks," then he took a deep breath to calm his nerves and walked up to the green eyed boy as if no one else were watching.

"Harold? Harold Pots?"

Harry stopped fighting with Ginny and turned towards Draco.

"Do I know you?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes, mate. Don't you remember? We met a couple of years ago after your rugby match. You were telling me all about your studies at Uni."

Harry exhaled a loud sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God, mate!" He leaned in close and whispered. "I thought I was tripping my balls off! Do you know what in the bloody hell is going on? Or why everyone keeps calling me Harry?"

"You really _can't _hold your whiskey, mate. You're..." Draco thought for a moment. "On a movie set! Yea, that's it! And they really like to stay in character here." He nodded. 

"Seriously?? How did I wind up on a movie set?! I must've been pissed last night!" He laughed. "You're right, I think it's time I gave up the sauce. -- What are they shooting anyways?"

Draco looked around as he thought. Everyone seemed to be holding their breaths and wearing either looks of shock or suspicion. He caught sight of Flitwick and Merrywhip.

He spoke a little louder so they could hear him when he spoke. "It's called _Harry Potter and the Time That Everyone in Charge Forgot That Halloween was the Anniversary of his Parents' Death and Then Pressured him into Directing a Very Large Roomful of Kids to Shoot at Each Other in the Middle of the Room Where he Fought a Battle."_

He heard Hermione gasp and saw her raise a hand guiltily to cover her mouth. Flitwick looked affronted and Merrywhip blushed red in embarrassment.

Harry laughed and then whistled. "Now _that's _a hell of a title!"

"Yea, it's a bit like Starwars just with witches and wizards instead of Jedis and wands instead of lightsabers." He shrugged. He felt like he had just about exhausted all of his knowledge of muggle pop culture but at least Harry had visibly relaxed.

"Oh! Makes sense! I had a right awful fright there for a minute." He shook his head.

"I saw, it looked like you were having a fit. Let's just take a breather for a minute." He stood directly in front of Harry and stared into his eyes. His pupils were too wide, making them look more black than green. "Let's just take a few deep breaths together. Do you know how to breathe with your diaphragm? You just inhale and exhale slowly with your stomach."

Harry followed his lead, his stomach visibly moving in and out slowly as he breathed in deeply. Draco watched as the pupils gradually retracted just enough that he could see the sadness and fear that Harry was running from. At that, his breathing hitched and his eyes started to dilate again.

Draco reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders as he continued to search those eyes. "No, Harry, stay with me. It's ok. You're ok. Your friends are ok." Granger and Weasley nodded off to the side. Harry and Harold seemed to be fighting for control. Draco rubbed firm, calming circles on his shoulders with his thumbs. "They are strong. They protect each other. They protect _you. _They would never let anyone hurt you. I would never let anyone hurt you." He whispered. "Please, stay with me -- don't leave me, Harry." He breathed, barely audible, but it was clear that Harry had heard it because his pupils snapped back to normal and green eyes shined warmly into gray.

"Draco." He whispered.

Draco momentarily forgot that there was anyone else in the room as they gazed into each other's eyes until he heard someone in the crowd say:

"What was _that_?"

"Is he ok now? What just happened?"

Then he heard the distinct voice of Davenport. "He did something to Harry! The death eater must've imperiused him! Get him!"

What happened next seemed to occur in slow motion. Draco heard at least 12 booming staggered cries of _STUPEFY _and the shrill screech of Astoria screaming _"Noooo!" _He looked up to see over a dozen red jets of light and, veiled among them, one _green_ jet coming directly for him as he stood there wandless. He realized too late that Theo and the 7th year death eaters were amongst the crowd. Harry, who was dazed and confused just moments earlier, was suddenly snapped into a crystal clear clarity as he closed the distance between them, shielding him with his own back and knocking him off his feet. As they arched through air, he watched as Ronald Weasley moved with more swiftness and dexterity than he would've ever believed possible of the ginger as he lifted Ginny Weasley, who had been left frozen in shock on the spot, with one arm and placed her safely behind him and then turned to stand his ground; Hermione moved with a fury that was downright frightening, skidding to a crouched halt with her hair flying wildly as she too moved to stare down the jets; at the same time, Neville and Parvati leapt to join them swiftly and unquestioningly and, most surprising of all, Luna Lovegood had stopped dancing to leap into action, wearing a fierce expression he'd only ever seen her take on briefly in moments when people made fun of the Quibbler.

Before he and Harry had even hit the floor, they were surrounded by a shield of Gryffindors (and Luna Lovegood) who all shouted in unison: "_PROTEGO!"_

The sonorous impact of the 12 stunners and killing curse hitting the shields rocked the room and propelled Draco and Harry further. Harry's glasses flew off from the force and Draco's head hit hard against the metal banister near the bottommost stair of the grand staircase as they landed. He could feel the sticky wetness of the blood starting to ooze into his hair and the dull pounding sensation of his skull but it didn't matter because he was too distracted by the fact that Harry Potter was lying on top of him, his pelvis pressed against his own. He stared back into bright green eyes until the darkness started to take over and he slipped away into unconsciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

"Harold Pots, the muggle who studied psychology at uni, huh?"

Draco opened his eyes to find Harry smiling sweetly from the doorway to the hospital wing. He smiled back from his bed and shrugged.

Madam Pomfrey had worked her magic and he was feeling fine now but, of course, she was insisting that he stay until she was sure the concussion had been fully healed.

"We were able to round up most of the students who cast at you. Most of them were Slytherin and a few of them were from other houses but just got caught up in group think. Theodore Nott did manage to slip away but since every other wand has been tested and accounted for, we're assuming that he was the one who cast the killing curse. The Aurors are on the case." He briefed him. Draco thought briefly that he really would make a good Auror if only he wanted to be one. 

"Figures." He said. Nott being out there, unaccounted for, made him nervous but knowing that he was being hunted by the MLE was reassuring. A not-so-smart son of a death eater on the run for casting an unforgivable that nearly hit the savior just did not stand a chance. 

"So, you just weren't going to tell me that I'm nuts?" Harry stirred him from his thoughts, green eyes sparkling with amusement.

"What? I thought that much was obvious, Potter." He smirked. Harry flashed him a toothy grin then bowed his head towards the floor.

"Well at least that solves one mystery, I guess." he surmised, walking over towards Draco's bed. "I couldn't for the life of me figure out why you'd be having casual conversations with muggles but, I guess this makes more sense."

Draco laughed. "You losing your mind and thinking you're a different person makes more sense than me getting on with Muggles?" He asked with a raised brow.

"Well..." he said, stopping by the head of the bed. "Stranger things have happened. ...To me, anyways." he added with a shrug.

Draco rolled his eyes and pushed himself up into more of a sitting position. "I think that might be the understatement of a century, Potter." Harry chuckled. "And technically, Harold Pots could have easily been one of the blokes I met at the muggle clubs in London this summer." He said haughtily, eyeing Harry out of the corner of his eye and hoping to get a reaction. He wasn't disappointed: Harry's eyes widened and his mouth dropped.

"You, Draco Malfoy, have been to muggle clubs in London?!" He asked in disbelief.

Draco smirked, feeling smug at having stumped him. He reached over and grabbed a couple of chocolate frogs that the Greengrasses had brought by from the little tray table next to the bed. He tossed one to Harry and then scooched over and crossed his legs to make room for him to sit. Harry hesitated for a moment and then sat on the edge, angling his body to face Draco in anticipation.

Draco laughed to himself and made sure to take his sweet time unwrapping the wriggling frog before taking a big bite, relishing keeping Harry waiting while he chewed. Harry rolled his eyes and waved his wand, wordlessly summoning a pillow which he promptly whacked him over the head with.

Draco laughed. "Hey! Madam Pomfrey is not going to take kindly to you attacking her patients!"

"Get on with it, Malfoy."

"Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a bunch." He thought for a moment about how best to explain the three weeks of nonstop drugs, drinking, and sex that followed his acquittal. "Let's just say I had quite the self-destructive streak after my release from Azkaban. I had a plan to get pissed and be buggered by as many muggle blokes as possible just as a big screw you to my dear father." he laughed darkly.

He watched Harry play with the cuff of his jeans. "Did it work?"

"Did what work? The buggering or pissing off my father?"

"Both."

"Well I did meet a few muggle men. It is quite bizarre going home with muggle men, let me tell you! I think I may have been overly fascinated by all the keys and electronics and such but I'm pretty sure they just thought I was wasted." He chuckled. "As for father, I haven't spoken to him since we were arrested..." he paused. "He writes to me fairly often but I never open the letters. The one I did read was just more of the same bullshite as usual."

This is where Potter would usually interject with something rude about father but instead, he just stared back with patient green eyes. 

Draco paused. "I always thought I was lucky: my father was my idol. There was nothing in the world that I wanted to aspire to more than to be just like him. But... 6th year..." He shook his head, remembering the shock and disgust of realizing what his father was capable of and then later the sheer anger that he'd felt towards his father for leading him down a path that would compromise all of his morals. "It just became glaringly clear that his flaws were deep and some of them unforgivable."

He looked up at Harry whose gaze was gentle and encouraging. "The crazy thing is that I _know _my parents love me. I've never felt unloved a day in my life -- and _you_ saw them risk everything for me that day. I am their pride and joy. It's just... for father, I think that pride comes from the expectation that I think like him and act like him and I just can't anymore. I don't want to."

Harry was looking at him strangely, like he had when he was telling him about wanting to go to uni. Draco laughed. "What?"

Harry shook his head as if to come out of a daze. "Nothing it's just... I'm just really proud of you."

He sounded so genuine that Draco felt his chest warm. He bowed his head, smiling shyly. He didn't realize he'd wanted Harry to be proud of him but apparently he did. The feeling was better than a warm cup of Rosemerta's finest butterbeer on a cold day.

"Do your parents know you're..." he paused.

"What? Gay?" He scoffed. "They both are still under the impression that I am to marry a rich, pureblood girl." He rolled his eyes. "Like the Malfoy name isn't rubbish now. I suppose they are still holding out hope that they can find me a French bride or something like that."

Harry's eyes widened. "Are you going to do that?"

Draco shook his head. "I always thought I would because that's what was expected. But I'm so tired of living based off of other people's twisted expectations that have nothing to do with me."

Harry nodded pensively. He kicked off his trainers and lay back towards the foot of the bed, letting his left leg hang off of the edge. He stared at the ceiling silently for a long moment.

"Malfoy, how many blokes have you been with?"

"5." he said simply.

"So there were the three muggle boys and... Anyone from here?"

"Well, Blaise and I have only ever been just friends but two bent friends in a school full of straight boys makes for some fun times." he laughed. "And I had a thing with Michael Corner at the end of 5th year but he wanted it to be more than sex and I told him I didn't do relationships."

Harry sat bolt upright. "Michael Corner and Blaise Zabini?? Wow. You do realize you and Ginny have the same taste, right?"

Draco frowned in distaste. "Or girl Weasley just happens to like bent blokes. I might've gone for Dean, too, but he and Seamus are clearly an item. And then there was the whole Gryffindor thing which would've meant slumming it." He teased.

Harry's mouth dropped open. "Really?! Dean and Seamus?!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Surely you can't be that blind, Potter. But what about you? Tell me about the sexual conquests of the wizarding savior."

Harry shook his head. "I haven't."

"You haven't been with any men." he stated rather than questioned. That wasn't surprising considering the recent '_I think I might actually be gay'_ comment.

He shook his head again. "No, I haven't been with anyone."

Draco's mouth dropped open. He couldn't fathom this. "Not even girl Weasley?!"

"No... She wanted to but... It never felt right."

"So, you're a virgin?"

Harry's cheeks turned a shade pinker. He raised his knees to his chest and hugged them. "....Yes. I mean...." he bowed his head and stared at his knees. "What happened 6th year didn't count. I'm not even... gay... I mean..." he gestured listlessly with his hands.

"What happened 6th --" Draco froze. "Are you talking about --?" There was no way Harry was talking about what he thought he was talking about... How could he possibly think that? Draco had just assumed that they danced around the topic because it was awkward to talk about and it wasn't really the type of thing that arche nemeses tended to delve into but, Merlin, had he never actually proccessed it with anyone? Harry wouldn't look at him. "Of course that didn't count! Harry, look at me." He wouldn't. Draco sat upright and scooched closer so that he was face to face with Harry, his legs on either side of the other boy. He reached out a hand and gently tilted his chin so that green eyes stared back at him, bright with unshed tears. "Did you worry that it _would _count?" he asked softly. "Did you worry that _I_ would think it counted?"

He watched as the tears began to roll down Harry's cheek of their own accord and Harry wiped at them hastily, sniffing quietly. "Oh, darling!" Draco said, instinctively reaching out to pull Harry to his chest. Harry shook his head and tried to pull away but he tightened the embrace. He heard a strangled, guttural noise escape from Harry's throat and then it finally happened: the damn broke. Harry cried out and buried his face in his chest as he was racked with gut-wrenching sobs that shook his whole frame. Draco just held him closer and rocked him in his arms. It occurred to him that, without parents, Harry may never have been held like this. And with the whole wizarding world expecting him to be a hero and a savior from the age of 1, had he ever been allowed to just be fragile and vulnerable? With anyone?

Harry's breathing started to calm the longer he held him. Draco laid back, pulling him on top of him and Harry snuggled up against his chest, sniffing away his tears. He ran soothing fingers through soft, messy, black hair and felt Harry lean into the touch.

"What happened 6th year was not sex, Harry. That's not what sex is like and no one would think you wanted that."

Harry shook his head. "But it was my fault. I was so stupid for being in Knockturn Alley that day."

Draco pulled back to get a better look at him. "Harry. It might've been stupid to be there but the worst you might've thought would happen was you'd get kidnapped and killed by the Dark Lord or something and that happened all the time, you have cat lives or something when it comes to that." He rolled his eyes teasingly. "Why on Earth would you have ever suspected that you would be brutally raped by two wizards?" Harry winced.

"But you even warned me!" he said, muffled as he tried to bury his face further.

"I warned you that there were death eaters and shady dealings going on there, something you already knew. Never in a million years would I think that someone in the wizarding world would do such a thing, especially not people that I knew and, at the time, held a high opinion of." He said, continuing to rub soothingly through black, messy hair. "You know, Harry, sometimes really messed up things happen that are out of our control. We like to blame ourselves because that gives us some of that control back. If it's our fault then we can do something different the next time to make sure that it never happens again. But sometimes that just leaves you sitting with this guilt and shame that was never yours to hold in the first place." He paused for a moment, remembering something he'd learned in muggles studies. "Harry. Think of a muggle pie chart. If you could think of it in terms of blame, what percentage of the blame do you place on yourself?"

Harry looked up at him, his eyes still red. He gave Draco a wry smile. "I don't know." He looked away before saying so quietly that Draco could barely hear him: "100."

Draco's chest tightened. "Ok... Ok, now what about me? I was there and I took your cloak. How much blame do you give me?" This was a fact that Draco had wrestled with for a long time himself. He had felt so much guilt around it.

Harry stalled and lifted up to face him, shocked. "I don't want to blame you, Draco."

Draco felt a mixture of relief that Harry didn't think that the whole thing was his fault but also sadness that the stubborn Gryffindor was so willing to hold all the guilt himself. "It's ok. I can share some of the blame. If I hadn't taken your cloak you would've never been left exposed. How much blame can you let me hold?"

Harry shook his head and was silent for a long moment. "Maybe 15%?"

"Ok, I'll hold that. So that would leave you with 85% of the blame."

Harry blinked up at him. "Ok. I guess... I guess I can be ok with that." Draco thought he notice him look a tiny bit relieved.

"Now that just leaves Yaxley and Rowle." Harry stiffened but continued to look up at him. "How much blame would you give them?"

"Can I have a second pie chart?"

"Nope, only one pie chart of blame here, Harry."

"Well... I have to give them 100%... Who rapes teenage boys? There's nothing that could be said to justify that. Even if I ran stark naked down Knockturn Alley with bells and whistles, you've got to be a really sick bastard to think to do that... It's just... wrong!"

"Exactly. So, if you give them 100% of the blame, that pushes you and I off the chart. Are you ok with that? Can you accept that?"

Harry was silent for a few minutes as he looked off into the distance. Finally, his green eyes met Draco's and there was a calm there. "I think I finally can. Thank you, Draco."

* * *

Harry felt like a weight had been lifted. And there was something so serendipitous about lying there and talking about it with Draco Malfoy, the only person who could possibly understand the things that haunted him from that day. His head was still cradled on Draco's chest and it occurred to him that he should probably move -- it would be a very bizarre sight for anyone to walk in on. But Draco continued to gently rub his hair and he felt a peace he couldn't remember ever having felt. He took a risk and draped his leg over Draco's middle, instead. The hand in his hair stilled for a moment and Harry worried that he'd gone too far, but then it resumed and he exhaled in relief.

They lay like that in silence for some time before a thought started to nag at him.

"Malfoy?" He said, looking up and being met with peaceful, light gray eyes that reminded him of the calm after the storm.

"Yes?"

"What's..." He didn't know how to ask this. Draco squeezed him once, reassuringly. "What's sex with a boy _supposed_ to feel like?"

"What? You mean how is it different from being raped?" He asked gently though his eyebrow was raised. Harry nodded slowly. It was weird that he was able to hear the word without it holding quite the sting it once did -- even just an hour ago! "Well, for starters, it should be with someone that you actually want to have sex with. And it shouldn't hurt. Unless you want it to, of course... And in those instances it should be with someone you trust and feel comfortable enough with to talk about your needs and likes and limits and discomforts and know that it will be respected. And of course, it should actually feel _good_."

Harry laid his head back down and contemplated that for a moment. If that was what sex was supposed to be like then what happened in 6th year definitely didn't count. He had always thought himself weird for not being as sex obsessed as some of his classmates. Ron, Seamus and Dean made sexual jokes all the time and he might muster up a fake laugh or two but, really, it made him uncomfortable. If he were honest, the idea of having sex with girls just never came to mind and the thought of having sex with blokes terrified him so much that he just tried not to ever think about it.

"But how..." he felt his cheeks heat up. "Is it always... Like... the mechanics..."

Draco pulled back and pushed his shoulder so that he was forced to look at him again. He searched his eyes for a moment. "What are you trying to ask, Harry?"

"Well... What is sex usually like for you? Let's say... _hypothetically!_ I were gay... And we had sex, what would that be like?" he felt mortified to have asked but he also couldn't look away as Draco contemplated the question. Something warm but guarded reflected in his eyes.

"Harry... Those are two different questions. I don't think sex with you would be anything like what sex is usually like for me."

Harry was surprised by that. "Really? Why would it be different? _How_ would it be different?"

"Why? Because you're _you_ and we're.... _us_. It wouldn't work." Harry didn't expect to feel so disheartened by those words. But then Malfoy continued: "Not like I'm used to, at least. It couldn't just be a random hook up or no strings attached. When has anything between us ever come without strings? Strings with you already gets so messy and tangled... But the crazy part is, even though I run from strings and attachment, somehow, I wouldn't even want a life with you in it without the strings." He resumed caressing his hair and stared into his eyes warmly.

Harry felt his heart skip a beat and his chest swell. "So you're saying it wouldn't work because it'd add an extra layer of attachment?" Draco stilled and stared at the ceiling for a long moment. He nodded, slowly. "And would that be a bad thing?"

Draco sighed and continued to stare at the ceiling though he wrapped his arms around Harry's waist which only made his chest warm more and lust pool in his groin. "I don't know... I've just never done it... Sex that's more than a hook up, relationships, pillow talk and all that stuff... Never appealed to me." He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "The universe is cruel. I guess it's my karma that the one person in the world I'd actually want that with is the one person I'd probably be strung up by my ankles just for having the nerve to want it with... And who I already know no one in his life could ever possibly approve." He gave a wry smile but there was deep sadness in his eyes.

Harry reached up and caressed his face with his hand, cherishing the feel of the soft, pale skin against his and the way Draco leaned into the touch.

"I don't know... Someone recently told me that I had nothing more to prove to anyone and that it was ok to live my life for me so, at the moment, I couldn't really give a damn what other people would think." He smirked up at Draco. "But do tell me how all that attachment stuff would make the sex different than what you're used to?" He quirked an eyebrow.

Draco shrugged and looked away. "I'm not used to being.... sappy."

"So you're saying that if we were ever to have sex, then I would get a sappy Malfoy?" he smirked, teasingly.

Draco shook his head and smiled a toothy incredulous smile. He gently shifted Harry off his chest and turned onto his side to face him head-on, instead. Harry followed suit, their faces mere inches away and Harry's eyes traveling down to soft pink lips as Draco spoke again, so softly that he could barely hear it. 

"Well... if you can imagine, I'm usually very, very selfish when it comes to sex. But surprisingly, I wouldn't want to be that way with you. I'd want to take my time and figure out just what you like... You deserve to be taken care of and to experience pleasure and I'd want to be the one to please you." He licked his lips and Harry swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly parched. "And I'd want to take things slowly to make sure that you're comfortable each step of the way." He traced his thumb across Harry's bottom lip and Harry's breath hitched. "And apparently you'd get a _Draco_ who'd probably actually like to snuggle after and want to rub his fingers through your hair until you fall asleep and, I swear, I never even knew _that_ Draco existed."

Harry couldn't resist. He leaned in and let their lips brush together tenderly, their noses rubbing gently. Draco's eyes closed and his breath hitched as Harry reached out to cradle his head in his hand and he angled his head to kiss him harder. Draco responded by wrapping an arm around his back and pulling him even closer as he licked at Harry's bottom lip. Harry parted his lips and allowed Draco's tongue entry. He explore his mouth, gently at first and then passionately, possessively. Harry could have sworn he felt magic course between them as he felt all of his senses heighten. Draco tasted of treacle tart and smelled of lemon shampoo and felt so soft to hold but... Harry angled his hips to get closer and gasped when he felt how hard he was through the thin pajama bottoms he still wore and waves of pleasure shot through him as his own hard cock rubbed against him. He wondered briefly if this had been what Ginny meant by _'fireworks'_. Surely not -- regular fireworks weren't this wondrous -- this mindblowing! This was Special Edition Everlasting Technicolor Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-Bangs!

He desperately needed to get closer. He had no idea what he was doing but he pushed a surprised Draco onto his back and rolled on top of him.

Draco gave him that breathtaking smile. "Interesting."

Harry paused. "Was that wrong?" He asked breathlessly.

Draco smiled again. "No, not at all. Just a bit of information." He lifted to kiss him and put a hand at the nape of his neck to deepen the kiss before he lie flat again and handed over the reigns. "Please, continue."

Harry angled his hips again and relished the moan that escaped Draco's lips as he arched his head back. Ok, he must be doing something right, he thought. Draco reached down to guide his hips and encourage him to rock them and Harry bent down to lick at the span of his exposed neck, kissing and sucking a trail up to the soft spot beneath his ear. "Harry..." Draco whimpered and Harry couldn't resist anymore, he began to grind in earnest.

Draco gasped and then captured his bottom lip with his teeth and tugged and Harry was surprised by the sounds that escaped his own mouth. They were already both so close. Draco's hands had made their way underneath his shirt and and they were running up and down his front, each time hesitating at his waistband. Harry could tell he was trying really hard to be respectful and not cross any boundaries but Harry wanted to please him, too. He took a deep breath and started to undo the front of his jeans.

Concern briefly flashed across Draco's face. "Harry, are you sure you want to go any further? Really sure? It's ok, we can stay right here." He said, reassuringly, his voice raspy with want.

He couldn't deny that he was nervous and felt unsure but, somehow, the fact that Draco knew to ask just made him want him more -- even if just a little bit more. "Maybe just the jeans for now." He compromised and pulled his jeans down so that the only barrier was his pants which were already soaked through in one spot with precum. Draco nodded and followed suit, lowering his pajama bottoms to reveal gray, silk pants that were also wet with precum. Harry was about to roll his eyes at the fancy silk but as he lowered himself back down between Draco's thighs with nothing but the thin, wet fabrics between their hard lengths, he was overcome with sensation -- the friction more exquisite than anything he'd ever felt before.

"Merlin, yes yes yes yes yes." He almost sang. And with that, Draco matched his rhythm and Harry buried his head into Draco's neck and moaned loudly as he came and came and came. Draco arched his head back as he followed suit.

He lay on top of Draco for a long moment, happily sticky and sated and surprised that the shame and guilt he'd feared was nowhere to be found. But of course it wasn't. This was _Draco. _He smiled down at Draco who smiled back up at him.

"Wow." was all he could manage to say.

"Wow." Draco echoed, his hair wild and lips slightly swollen and red. He kissed Harry once more and flashed a brilliant smile. He reached for his wand from the side table and casted a "_scourgify_" between them. Harry felt the now cold, dampness in his pants disappear and then Draco's hand was on his face, caressing as he searched his eyes. "You ok?"

Harry nodded. "Brilliant!" He smiled.

"Sooo..." Draco teased as Harry pulled up his jeans and he did the same with his pajamas, an amused glimmer in his eye. "Where are you at on that gay thing?"

Harry laughed in earnest and then kissed Draco passionately in response. "Definitely bent." He concluded.

"MY WORD!"

They both winced and then laughed as Madam Pomfrey finally made her appearance.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

Harry rolled off of him gingerly and they were met with the sight of Madam Pomfrey looking down on them with arms crossed. Draco was surprised, however, to find the look on her face one of smug amusement instead of her usual sternness.

"Boys, while I am personally glad to see that after all these years you two have _finally_ gotten over yourselves and got on with it, I must ask that you not be so brazen in my infirmary." He and Harry gaped at each other in astonishment and then Harry smiled the most breathtaking smile and he couldn't help but do the same. "Mr. Potter, if you would get out of my patient's bed, I have a few final checks to do before Mr. Malfoy is free to go."

Harry hopped out of the bed obligingly and Madam Pomfrey urged Draco to sit up as she began poking and prodding at his skull and running a number of diagnostic scans with her wand. 

"All done, dear." She said after a minute or two. "Take it easy the rest of the day and rest up, you should be fine. Mr. Potter, I believe Headmistress McGonagall would like to see you in her office to try and understand just what happened this afternoon. Apparently your Ministry PR rep has already asked to floo in."

Harry sighed heavily as Madam Pomfrey headed back to her quarters. "I don't even know where to start..." His eyes widened slightly with panic. Draco reached out to put a calming hand on his shoulder and he watched as Harry's face switched from anxious to contemplative to a shy nervousness. "Hey, Draco, do you think you could come with me?"

Draco held his breath as his own panic threatened to overcome him and he carefully resurrected his mask. It wasn't lost on him that right now, at that very moment, there was probably a castle full of people who thought that he had imperiused the Boy Who Lived or that there was a smaller portion who actually did believe that he genuinely wanted to help Harry but wanted him dead because of it. Either way, it meant that walking out of this room by Harry's side might be one of the biggest risks he took in his life. Was this how Harry had felt when he'd decided to stand by him during the trials?

"Of course." He said with conviction. It didn't matter. Harry needed him. He watched as his shoulders dropped with relief though he still looked nervous. "What do you want to tell them?"

"Draco, I think the only chance we have of them understanding so that they actually can help me or will want to support _us_ is if I'm honest... About everything..." His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard.

Draco reached out to grab both of Harry's hands in his own as it dawned on him what he meant. 

"Are you sure?" He searched green eyes. "You don't have to."

Harry shook his head. "Draco, I..." he looked away. "I don't like asking people for help. I couldn't growing up without being... punished." He swallowed again and Draco screwed up his face in confusion. He'd always imagined Harry having some life where he had been the center of attention but, he realized now that he knew nothing about what Harry's life was like outside of Hogwarts. "My relatives were physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive... Draco, I never knew that I could be loved and cared about until that day I met the Weasleys when we were 11... They made me a part of their family right there on the spot, with no conditions, as I was standing there with no clue of how to get onto platform 9¾. And they did it for no other reason than because they saw that I was lost in more ways than one and I needed it, not because I was supposedly famous."

Draco looked away as he felt his heart ache. That day now felt bittersweet when before it'd just been bitter. For Draco, it had always been the day that Harry had chosen Ron over him but, for Harry, it meant so much more. It was the first time he felt true connection and gained a real family.

"By the time I got here, to Hogwarts... I was already so used to doing things on my own and taking care of others that I didn't want help. And if I'm being honest, I didn't think I was worth people's help. I've never minded taking on the dangerous stuff because if I die, it doesn't matter, it's no big deal."

Draco felt a surge of anger. "What? Harry, no. You matter. " He wouldn't look at him. "You matter so much and to so many people! Imagine what your life means to so many people? Imagine what your death would do to your friends? What it would do to me?" He reached up and cupped his face in his hand. Harry's eyes shined bright and he nodded.

"I know. It's been hard to accept that. And it's hard when there are so many people out there who only care about me out of their own self-interest, but I keep being reminded that there are people who really do love and care about _me_ and who want to support me, if I only let them. And whatever happened today, I think it's pretty clear that I need help. It's not fair for me to not let the people who want to help know the hows and whys."

Draco nodded in agreement and then kissed him chastely. "Well I'm here. I'll be right by your side. ...If you want me to."

Harry smiled and kissed him back. "Of course I want you to." He pulled out a coin from his pocket and tapped his wand to it.

* * *

Hermione, Ron, and Ginny joined them as they approached the Gargoyle statues.

"What's going on, mate? We got your message to meet you here."

"Are you ok, Harry? Draco?" Hermione asked, her brow worried.

Ginny just stood with her arms crossed, staring daggers into Draco. "What is _he_ doing here? What did he do to you?" she asked angrily. Draco showed no signs of backing down as he glared back with a raised brow and look of distaste. Harry looked between them warily and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Ginny, he didn't do anything." He sighed. "McGonagall and Penelope are here and they want to know what happened earlier."

"So would we, mate! Harry, what in the bloody hell was that?" Ron frowned at Harry, Draco, and Hermione. "And why do I feel like you three are in on something and nobody's telling me? Why am I the only one who gets left out all the time?"

Harry winced, remembering how hurt Ron had been last year at the idea of being left out and the tricks that the locket had played on his mind. Guilt surged through him as he looked at his best mate who now looked wounded and angry.

"I'm sorry, Ron. There _is_ something that happened and you deserve to know." He looked at Ginny. "Both of you deserve to know. That's why I wanted you to be here. It's just... it's not something that's easy to talk about and I would really rather not have to retell it more than once." He swallowed as a lump formed in his throat. He hadn't even said anything and this was already hard. Draco nudged him with his shoulder and he smiled at the reminder of his words: _'I'll be right by your side. ...If you want me to.'_

Ron looked between the two of them with his face screwed up incredulously. _"What?!" _He mouthed to Harry. He didn't even have to look at Ginny to feel the fury emanating from her direction.

Harry shook his head. "I'll explain everything in a moment. _Biscuits!"_ he said to the Gargoyles and the door to the moving staircase gave way.

The office looked much the same as he had last seen it last except with tartan patterned furnishing. Dumbledore's portrait smiled back at them from right behind the large desk while Snape's glowered beside him.

"Mr. Potter." Came McGonagall's stern voice as they entered the office. "I was not expecting an audience for this meeting."

Penelope Periwinkle was sat at McGonagall's desk the image of perfection, her blonde hair in pinned curls under a periwinkle hat that matched her cloak and travel briefcase. "Hello, Harry." She said, standing and flashing him a brilliant smile with a brisk nod that was all business. Ron was convinced that the woman was part veela and... right on cue:

"Ouch! Hermione!" He turned to see Ron nursing his arm and Hermione smiling tersely.

"May I ask why you all are here?" Mcgonagall turned to his friends as she sat down at her desk. Ron shrugged.

"Sorry, professor." Harry said, joining her and Periwinkle with Draco at his side. Periwinkle looked Draco up and down with her mouth twisted in concentration like she was trying to figure out how to solve a problem. He frowned at her. "They're here because what happened today made me realize that I can't hide from some things that I've been hiding from and I need some support if I want to actually be... ok."

Mcgonagall stared at him for a long moment. She pulled out her wand and aimed it at the small couch against the curved wall opposite her desk, transfiguring it into a large circular sectional that angled itself around the strange instruments that were still littered about the room. "Have a seat." She said, waving to direct them to the plush green and red tartan cushions.

Harry grabbed a seat in the middle with Draco on his right. Hermione, Ron, and Ginny joined him on his left, and Penelope perched herself daintily next to Draco.

McGonagall grabbed a tin of biscuits and waved her wand to make her chair float over to sit in the center, facing the semi-circle. "Ok, Mr. Potter. Can you start off by telling us what exactly _did _happen earlier this afternoon?" She said, as she opened the tin and offered them all biscuits.

He looked to Draco who gave him an encouraging nod.

"Well... what happened today, happened before." He paused and looked at the floor. Then he felt Draco's leg press encouragingly against him and Hermione's hand came to rest on his left knee. He looked up to find that he had everyone's attention, even the portraits. "The summer before 6th year... I was..." He looked back to the floor. "Kidnapped and sexually assaulted by two death eaters."

There were gasps from a few of the portraits but everyone else in the room was silent. He didn't dare to look at anyone's faces, not sure that he could stand the pity he was sure to find there.

"I'm sorry, you were _what_?" Harry looked up to see Snape staring back wearing a look of pure outrage. He looked over to Dumbledore who looked deeply saddened and he fixed his stare back to Snape, realizing that he didn't want pity. He wanted the outrage.

"The summer before 6th year, Yaxley and Rowle paralyzed, kidnapped, then raped me in Knockturn Alley." He said a little stronger. He felt Hermione's grip tighten and he unconsciously leaned onto Draco who hesitated a moment and then wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"_Yaxley_ and _Rowle_?!?!" Snape looked like he wanted to spit in disgust. "Potter, why didn't you tell anyone?"

He shrugged. "I didn't see the point..." He said quietly, suddenly feeling small. "It had already happened, we knew they were death eaters and dangerous and we couldn't do anything about _that_... I didn't know how it would help." He felt numb and was unaware of the tears that were rolling down his face. Draco squeezed him closer. 

"Harry, I'm so sorry that you felt that you couldn't turn to us for support. That you felt like you had to carry this burden alone. Too many times have I failed you... too many times has this world failed you." Dumbledore said solemnly.

Harry shook his head. "Draco didn't. He was there and he saved my life." He turned to Draco, who gave his shoulder a squeeze. He chanced a glance at the others and everyone but Hermione looked shocked. "We had argued right beforehand and he saw it when they kidnapped me. He had my invisibility cloak so he was able to find me without them seeing him." He felt Draco stiffen, probably from guilt around taking the cloak. "He risked his life to find me and help me escape before they could summon Voldemort. It was when he got me to safety that I dissociated." He turned to Draco to help explain.

"Muggles call it Dissociative Identity Disorder and it's a response to excessive trauma. When you're not feeling safe and feel like you have no control, it's a way that the mind and body take control and try to protect you by escaping intense emotions and literally convincing itself that you are a completely different person who's actually safe. Some people have multiple protective personalities but, as far as we know, Harry only seems to turn into Harold Pots: A student at Uni who studies psychology and plays rugby." Hermione gasped, probably connecting the same dots about Draco's interest in psychology as Harry had earlier.

"And you've got to bear in mind that this was weeks after I had lost Sirius and everything had happened in the ministry -- all of my friends had been put in danger, Voldemort was gaining power, people were disappearing left and right and I had just learned that I was the Chosen One who was supposed to stop it all." He looked up at Dumbledore who looked remorseful. "I didn't realize what had happened at the time. All I remembered after the escape was Draco giving me his robes and wiping my tears and telling me that I had to stay strong and pull it together because people were counting on me to win the war." He looked over to Ron who looked dumbfounded and Ginny who was crying silently. "He told me that he had to play his role or he and his family would be killed but that he hoped I survived and won. That's part of why I was so obsessed with him that year because he didn't think he had a choice and I wanted to stop him, to show him that he did have choices! And I defended him in his trials because I knew he really didn't think he had another choice that would keep his family safe." Draco had the Malfoy mask firmly in place but Harry noticed that he was nervously fiddling with the butterbeer cork around his neck.

"Well, Mr. Malfoy, it seems that you've been making a lot of those tough choices of late." Mcgonagall nodded at the arm wrapped around Harry and he felt him stiffen. "I've been keeping a close eye on our supposed resident _'uprising' _and I've been glad to see that you've been woefully absent from it's movement. Is that why you found yourself on the end of a killing curse when you helped Mr. Potter this afternoon?"

Draco nodded. "Excuse my language, but, I just can't keep being a part of something shitty anymore just because it's expected of me. It's not the life I want to live." He said solemnly. Harry heard Ron scoff from the other side of Hermione, clearly not convinced. 

"Why didn't you tell me about what happened in Knockturn Alley, Draco?" Snape asked.

"Severus, at the time I found out that my father...." He paused and shook his head. "I thought you would've already known. The things Yaxley and Rowle said that day made it sound like torture and rape were a regular death eater practice... And I was just so disturbed and things started to make sense that I'd never understood before... Like why my father always seemed uncomfortable having me around his friends and would tell me that he didn't want me alone with them... When I was younger, I thought that it was because he thought I was too young to be in on the important talks but when I witnessed what they did to Harry I knew that he simply didn't trust them around his teenage son."

Snape practically growled. "Draco, I'm not sure what Lucious and those two were up to but the very thought of violating teenage boys is repugnant and unforgivable! I really wish you would have told me. I would have made certain that they met their demise much sooner."

"Severus!" McGonagall scolded. Snape just shrugged. Harry suddenly understood that Snape probably was not the 'doting godfather,' afterall. He was more like Sirius: ornery but willing to do anything and risk everything to protect those who mattered to him. Harry wondered what it would've been like if Sirius was around during that time. He looked around at the people in the room and smiled realizing that they had all, with the exception of Penelope, played that role in his life at different points, each having selflessly put their lives on the line to keep him safe.

"How can we best support you, Mr. Potter?" Asked Mcgonagall with love evident in her eyes.

"You already do." He felt the lump rise in his throat again. "Everyone in this room has taught me what it's like to have people genuinely care and _want _to be there and not just for selfish reasons. None of you have failed me... I just want to practice actually letting you help me... So to start, it'll help if you actually know that I'm struggling. I hadn't been able to sleep or eat in a long time. And... I see the bodies of everyone who died at Hogwarts whenever I step into the Great Hall..."

"Oh, Harry! Why didn't you say so??" Hermione anguished. "I never would have pushed you to do the dueling club had I known!"

"I know." He reassured her. "That was my fault for not telling you. It's been happening since the start of term. When it _does_ happen, I feel this panic and don't know what to do and that's when I start to feel numb and dissociate... Draco's the only one who's ever able to get me out of it."

"It's all symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder." Draco chimed in and everyone turned to him again. "When people are triggered to past traumas, their bodies respond how they did when it was happening. So you might feel a racing heartbeat or go into fight or flight like you were back in the situation. You might also literally feel transported back to the event and actually being in the same space and under similar circumstances where the traumatic event took place makes it even easier to feel triggered. When I see Harry look triggered, I use what Muggles call grounding techniques. It helps to remind him of the present like where he's at and who he's with and that he's safe." He paused to roll his eyes. "And since Harry has such a hero complex it helped to remind him that everyone else was ok, too. Breathing techniques also help to physically move the body out of fight or flight so that's why I encouraged him to do diaphragmatic breathing." They were all listening raptly, Hermione nodding along as if taking mental notes.

"The other way that you can help is by supporting me in embracing Draco." He looked to Ron and Ginny. "He's actually really important to me for a number of reasons and the more people I have on our side who help break the stigma of him as an evil death eater, the better."

"Harry, are you gay?" Ginny asked, her eyes still red from crying.

He swallowed and then nodded. "I'm sorry, Ginny. I didn't know.... when we were dating... I couldn't even let myself think about it when we were together. I mean, there was just so much guilt and shame around what happened to me and not wanting to be broken and wanting to live the life that everyone thought I should be living..." he paused to catch his breath and then shook his head at the sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry that I hurt you by not having that figured out."

Ginny shook her head. "Oh, Harry. You don't have to apologize. I wish I would've known what was going on but, Merlin! You've had so much to happen to you on your quest to save the world... And no time to process any of it! How could anyone have expected you to have it figured out?" Harry felt the lump again in his throat. "I forgive you and I love you and I just want you to be happy. I don't know anyone at all who deserves to be happy as much as you do!" She said through a new round of tears and he stopped fighting his own, letting them roll down his cheeks freely. 

There was a long moment of silence before Ron finally spoke. "So, you're dating Malfoy?" His face was mostly unreadable though his eyes were red.

Harry had been worried most about Ron's reaction. He turned to Draco to find gray eyes searching his own. He realized in that moment that this was another situation that he hadn't thought through. He'd asked Draco to join him as a support but they hadn't defined anything and his eyes widened as it dawned on him that Draco technically wasn't even out of the closet!

Draco chortled and rolled his eyes. "Didn't think it through, again?" he asked with brow raised teasingly. Harry shook his head frantically but Draco's eyes gleamed with amusement and darkened with some warm emotion as he grabbed Harry's chin and leaned in to kiss him passionately. "Yes." He said looking at each face in the room and locking eyes with Ron. "I guess I have a _boyfriend_." he proclaimed thoughtfully as he tested out the word.

Harry looked to Ron who was nodding slowly with a blank stare as he processed the information.

"Harry, let's talk." He said at last, standing and abruptly leaving the room.

"Ron!" Cried Hermione, but he was already out the door.

* * *

Harry turned to Draco with trepidation. Draco kept a straight face and nodded that Harry should follow his friend.

Harry got up and hastily pursued Weasley out of the office. When he'd gone, Draco felt his mask slip into irritation. How dare Weasley be such a selfish prick when Harry had enough to worry about. He thought to himself that he frankly didn't care if Weasley didn't like him because he'd probably never like him either, but he'd at least planned to pretend for Harry...

He looked up from his musings to see many sets of eyes on him.

"Mr. Malfoy." Headmistress Mcgonagall spoke. "It appears your contributions to this war and the precarious situations you've been placed in, much like your godfather," she glanced at Snape's portrait who returned a curt nod, "have been greatly understated."

Draco shrugged. "I don't know that I'm that unique. I think this place is full of 17 and 18 year olds who have been put in precarious situations and we're all dealing with trauma in different ways because of it. This school and its entire student body has been so deeply affected by loss and trauma and fear and there's not even a space to talk about it and heal."

"How true, Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore smiled at him kindly and he felt his heart constrict painfully. "I'm so glad that you've found it in your heart to seek healing for others. And I see you've become astute in the great muggle art of psychology. So wonderful in concept and yet, like yourself, often its goodness is left unseen in our world." Draco blushed.

"Do you have any suggestions, Mr. Malfoy?" Asked Mcgonagall.

Draco shrugged. "Well Harry told a few of the younger years that the two of us could teach them how to fly. It gave me an idea to maybe introduce a concept of restorative flying. Like a support group that provides a space to talk but builds in mindfulness and coping strategies through something everyone can relate to, like flying. But... I don't know who would run it..."

"Oooh!!!" Hermione squealed. "That's amazing, Draco. I could organize it and get membership and figure out how to break them up by year or topics and you can use all your psych knowledge and grounding to educate people and make it a safe space like you do for Harry and --"

Draco interrupted her rambling. "Wait -- Me? A safe space?! Come off it Granger, to most people I'm still 'Draco Malfoy, the death eater!' I represent all of the shite they're afraid of in the first place!" He said irritably, suddenly feeling defeated as shame overcame him. 

Hermione deflated. 

The woman dressed in too much periwinkle turned to him and extended a hand.

"Penelope Periwinkle." He shook it reluctantly. "Looks like you're in need of a Public Relations Witch." She smiled brightly.

* * *

Harry found Ron waiting for him just outside the office door, his tall lanky frame leaned casually against the wall. Knowing Ron, he had expected him to be angry, or hurt even; he was surprised, however, to find that he was actually grinning.

"Are you... Is everything... Please tell me what you're thinking." He finally settled on, still eyeing his friend apprehensively.

Ron shrugged. "I really just wanted to make Malfoy sweat." He grinned mischievously. "Can't have him thinking I'll welcome him with open arms without him having to work for it!"

Harry stared at him nonplussed for a long moment before it finally registered that Ron was just taking the piss! He punched him hard in the arm. "You tosser!" he laughed as relief washed over him.

"We really _should_ talk, though." Ron swallowed hard then jerked his head in the direction of the stairs.

Harry nodded and followed Ron down the spiral staircase and to the tapestry that hid the stairs that led to the ground floor. Instead of descending them, however, Ron sat down on the topmost step and Harry followed suit.

Ron kneaded his hands in his lap as he spoke. "Harry... I know I'm rubbish at talking about feelings so I guess I get why you didn't tell me, but it really kills me that you didn't think you could talk to me -- that you had to carry it alone." He turned to look Harry in the eye. The care reflected back at him in his best mate's blue eyes was enough to make his chest constrict.

Harry chuckled. "I'm rubbish at it too, mate. It's hard enough when Hermione gives me that _'Oh, poor Harry!'_ look. I didn't want to get that from you, too." He shook his head then stared down at his trainers. "I hate feeling pitied."

Ron faced forward and looked unseeingly ahead down the staircase. "It's not pity to think that what happened to you was fucked up. And it _was_ fucked up on so many levels, mate. And like Ginny said, to have had to deal with that while saving the fucking world." He shook his head and then looked back at him. "You do realize that what happened in the diner when we ran into Rowle and the ministry with Yaxley would have looked very different had I known, right?"

Harry nodded. He had no doubt that Ron would've abandoned all sense, reason, and plans in an attempt to kill either of the two men had he known. "It wouldn't have been good. And I'm glad you didn't know because I wouldn't want you to carry that on your conscious."

"Nah, mate. I'm pretty sure my conscious would be light as a feather right now. Probably lighter than it currently is, even..." He watched a spider crawl up the stone wall next to him and Harry was surprised when he didn't even flinch as it neared him. For the first time, Harry started to wonder if Ron might feel numb, too. "It's hard to feel like you've done enough when you do all this fighting the good fight and shite like that still happens to your best mate, the woman you love still gets tortured, and Fred still dies in the end." A tear rolled down his face and he didn't try to stop it. "At least maybe if I'd have killed them, I'd feel like I'd got _some_ justice."

Harry shook his head. It was an odd thing to make it out on the other side of a war, fairly unscathed, when so many others had met a fate much worse than one's own. Ron's humor had made him think that he'd somehow been impervious to all of the lingering feelings of survivor's guilt that plagued Harry daily. Now he could see that that had been foolish to think and maybe Ron could relate more than most people he knew. It felt good to know that someone else got it. "Yea, I'll probably spend the rest of my life trying to convince myself that it was all good enough, too. We'll go down in history as heroes but how do we ever convince ourselves that it was all worth it? That it wouldn't have been better to have just lain down and be put out of our misery?"

Ron laughed. "You forget that you did that, mate! It didn't work!" They both laughed in earnest.

Harry wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes. "It really is all about taking it one day at a time I guess. Some days it's really hard, and some days I realize that the people and things I value most in my life wouldn't have the same role in my life or bring me as much joy as they do if I hadn't experienced all the pain."

"Malfoy?"

"Malfoy." He smiled in spite of himself. "Are you really ok with... the whole gay thing? And with me and Draco?" He eyed him nervously.

Ron shrugged. "Harry, you've been gay for Malfoy for the past 7 years." Harry raised both eyebrows in surprise. "I just never expected you to act on it because he was... _Malfoy_! But then you started defending him and whatever the hell that was yesterday in potions," he glanced at him suspiciously. "...it was obvious that something had shifted. It wasn't until this morning that things started clicking into place and Hermione's hints started making sense." He chortled. "Yesterday she pointed out that she didn't think _you_ owned a cashmere jumper but I just brushed it off thinking it was probably something Periwinkle threw into your wardrobe. Granted, when you slept in it last night I thought it was a bit odd, but when you started blushing over wanting to be friends with him this morning, it finally clicked! Ponce-y ass cashmere. Malfoy. Duh!"

"Wait..." Harry was still stuck on the _'gay for 7 years'_ part. "You knew I was gay? And you let me date your sister?!"

Ron laughed. "I figured you must be bisexual." He shrugged. "And you've never actually said anything so I thought maybe I was wrong."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I didn't figure it out until _yesterday_." He shook his head again in disbelief.

"You never were very observant." Ron joked.

Harry laughed. He felt grateful that his friend was being so accepting. Harry really hadn't known what to expect. The Dursleys viewed queer folks as just as strange and ungodly as they did magic and he'd barely even heard mention of bent couples in his time in the wizarding world except for the whispered rumors about Dumbledore. Knowing that Seamus and Dean weren't out as a couple and that Draco had remained in the closet despite the fact that he clearly had known that he was gay at least through most of his adolescence told him that it still probably wasn't considered _normal_ here either.

He sighed. "How in the hell are we going to make this work, Ron? I really want this to work." His voice cracked as he realized how much he really meant it.

"Well, it's not going to be easy but you've pulled off crazier things before than making a relationship work." He clapped him on the back. "Don't worry about getting other people on board, leave that to us. Hermione and I will work on getting support from the people you care about and I'm sure Periwinkle will worry about the rest. You just focus on you and..." he scrunched up his face in mock disgust. "--_Malfoy_. Boy is that going to take some getting used to!"

Harry smiled. He felt so grateful for his friend. "Thanks, mate. That's all I really want is a real chance to work at this with Draco and there are already so many hurdles that we'll have to get over that we haven't even talked about yet. There's clearly a lot of history to overcome and..." he paused, suddenly feeling somber. 

"What is it mate?"

Something had been bothering him that he hadn't wanted to think about in fear of dampening the brand new _"I can kiss Draco Malfoy!" _bliss.

"Ever since Yaxley and Rowle... did what they did..." he looked down at his trainers. How could he say this? "Me and Ginny never... I don't know if..... What if..." he swallowed and looked up into confused blue eyes. "Ron, how am I ever supposed to have sex after what they did to me?"

Ron's expression shifted into sadness but he didn't turn away. "Harry... Do you _want _to have sex?"

Harry nodded. "Well... I _think_ so..." This morning with Draco was the first time that he'd ever really thought he might. 

"Well, I hate to say this..." he looked away and shook his head in disbelief before he turned back. "But, I think you might have the perfect partner to try it with."

Harry's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Wow, never thought I'd hear you say _that._"

"Yea yea." He rolled his eyes. "But really, mate -- sex requires a lot of communication and being able to read each other for it to work right. Take me and Hermione, for instance..." 

Harry cringed and shook his head fervently. Talking about sex with Hermione was just _wrong_!Ron laughed. "Well do you want my advice or don't you?"

"Urgh... I guess... but no details!" He cringed again at the thought. 

Ron threw his head back in laughter. "I'll put it this way, mate... In order for penetration to work, the person who's being penetrated has to be able to relax. I -- who am admittedly not the most patient person in the world -- am dating Hermione Granger, who doesn't know the meaning of the word 'relax'..." Harry screwed up his face against a very awkward visual that threatened to break through. "Let's just say our first time was a disaster... We've had to learn a lot about each other and I've learned how to better read her cues and know when to slow down or pause and attend to her needs or nerves or whatever else might come up for her."

Harry nodded. "That makes sense I guess. What does it have to do with Malfoy?"

"Mate, watching Malfoy jump into action this morning and even sitting next to you on the couch a little bit ago... It's hard to describe..." he thought for a moment. "You know how he looks in potions?"

Harry thought about Draco at work at a potions station. He used to be so annoyed by how confident and in control he seemed in potions but now the thought just made his cock harden. He blushed. Ron rolled his eyes but smirked knowingly. 

"Well the way he searches your eyes and pays attention to your body language is sort of like he looks at you like he's studying a potion, paying attention for signs that he needs to adjust the temperature or add or change an ingredient. It's clear he really cares about you. He's even willing to put everything on the line when it comes to making sure you're alright, and I can respect that."

Harry smiled. Ron was right, Draco seemed to be able to read him better than anybody. 

"I'm not sure how you and Malfoy will... urm... _negotiate _who does what..." Harry blushed. "But I really can't see him not being understanding or making sure you feel comfortable. He might be the most selfish prick I know but you seem to be his exception."

"Thank you, Ron. That really helped!" He suddenly wanted to see Draco again. Just as he was about to suggest that they go back up to see the others, the tapestry was pulled back and there stood Draco, wand drawn and pointed at Ron. 

"Is everything ok, Harry?" He looked to Harry though his wand was trained on Ron. 

"Yes!" He said, scrambling to his feet. Draco searched his eyes. Ron just sat there, smirking coolly. 

"Ronald Weasley, you don't have to like me but Harry's been through enough and if you make this any harder for him I swear to Merlin I'll hex you to hades!"

"Draco --" Harry started to say but Ron had already stood up slowly and closed the gap between him and Draco, ignoring the wand as he pulled him into a one armed hug. Draco stood there confused and speechless, his arms now awkwardly squashed against his sides and making no attempt to hug Ron back. There was snickering as the girls poked their heads around the tapestry. 

"Took you long enough." Ron finally said as he pulled away from Draco who just looked dumbfounded. "Thank you for looking after my best mate. I was just telling him that I can tell you really care about him." Draco looked surprised and turned to Harry with raised brow. Harry nodded fervently. "I give you my blessing, just don't make me regret it or I _will _kill you."

Harry grabbed Draco by the hand to pull him close and kissed him hard to the whoops and cheers of his friends. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

"Ok, we've got work to do." Granger clapped her hands together from her place on the couch in Snape's sitting room. Weasley was perched on the arm of the sofa next to her. Draco glanced over at the surly portrait of his Godfather who was glaring at him venemously.

He shrugged. "Sorry, I couldn't think of another place for us all to talk comfortably without being overheard."

Snape grumbled but was otherwise silent.

Blaise looked around with Ginny at his side, making sure to touch anything that looked like he shouldn't touch it, just giddy to finally be let in. Meanwhile, the Greengrasses sat on the sofa next to Hermione, both looking thoroughly put off by all the Gryffindors.

"Periwinkle wants to increase Draco's visibility doing normal teenage things starting with today's Halloween feast." Granger continued.

"Harry will need to make an appearance so that people see he's alright and interacts with Draco without ill will, but since he can't be in the Great Hall right now, he won't join for the feast. Thus, we have to plan how to make sure Draco is supported, protected, and actually looks like he's welcomed and having fun while there." Ginny took up the thread.

"Excuse me, what?" Asked Daphne bluntly. "What the _hell_ are we talking about? And why would any of _you _give a damn about what happens to Draco?" She frowned. 

Draco put his head in his hand as he realized he probably should have briefed his friends before they met up. Harry was looking at him from his chair by the fire with amusement in his eyes. "Didn't think it through, huh?"

"Shut it, Potter." He smirked. Where to start? "How much are you comfortable with me telling them?"

Harry shrugged. "Whatever you're comfortable sharing. Just not... you know."

Draco nodded then turned to his friends. "Well, what happened this morning was Harry's response to being triggered to a traumatic event. I knew what to do because I've seen him go through it before and understood what was happening." He wouldn't tell the details, that was Harry's story to tell.

"Did you just call him _'Harry'_?!" Daphne asked incredulously.

"Erm... Yes, about that. Well, if you didn't know," he blushed as he looked to Daphne and Astoria. "I'm gay."

"What?!" Astoria sounded outraged and Daphne put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. What was _that_ about? He'd have to worry about it later.

"And, as of today, I'm officially dating Harry Potter." He said, turning to face Blaise who looked at him wide-eyed then whooped.

"Holy shit! Are you for real?!"

Draco nodded and Harry joined him at his side and, taking a page from his book from earlier, kissed him passionately. Draco allowed himself to revel in the touch of Harry's soft lips against his and the warm, wetness of his tongue, still reeling from the fact that he got to kiss him in the first place. He pulled away breathless and smiling brilliantly. "Yup, see." He said lacing his fingers with Harry's and lifting up their intertwined hands. "Boyfriend."

"_Boyfriend?!_ I never thought I'd see the day! Does Michael Corner know? He's going to be _pisssed_!" Draco blushed.

"Michael Corner? Merlin, Draco! Have we really dated all the same guys?!"

He rubbed at the back of his neck and felt the flush creep up it.

"Can we move on, please?" Harry asked, pointedly.

"Yes!" Granger chimed in. "Well we're working with Penelope Periwinkle to try to do damage control around what happened this morning and reduce public fallout so that Harry and Draco might actually have a shot and Draco might actually be able finally get out from under this scary outcast image enough to actually help others."

"The whole _archnemesis _bit they've played all these years and the resulting Gryffindor vs Slytherin thing that's blown up because of them isn't going to help them. Thus, we need to show that we can all get along or at least _try_ to." Said Ginny.

"What? No. There's no way!" Daphne crossed her arms insolently.

Weasley rolled his eyes. "Believe me, we're not enthused about hanging around you lot either! But since we care about our friend's happiness and for some odd reason this pointy git makes him happy," he pointed a thumb at Draco, "we'll all just have to get over it."

"Well I'm all for it! This is going to be the biggest scandal in Hogwarts history!" Blaise said gleefully.

"Well I'm glad you're so enthusiastic, _hunny_." Ginny said, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. Ron mimed vomiting. "Because the first step is distraction and misdirection. We need a scandal big enough to distract attention away from what happened this morning and away from Draco as the enemy. Something that's going to boggle the minds of students so much that they can't make heads or tails of what's really going on..."

Blaise looked amused. "Merlin, what could possibly be _that _big?"

She stood on tip toes to kiss him and stared up into his eyes as she asked: "You ready to go public, baby?"

Blaise's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Let me get this straight... On the very same day that Harry Potter supposedly got attacked, you - his supposed girlfriend - want to come out as dating a Slytherin??"

"Yup!" She said smugly.

"Savage!" Daphne gave a wry smile in appreciation.

"Now, of course some of the hate will shift off of Draco and onto us but I dare anyone to try me." She raised her wand and smirked confidently.

"Plus, I'll publicly show my support for both of you." Harry said. "We'll all walk to the Great Hall together and I can be nice and supportive while the two of you hold hands. That way, it will hopefully be clear that this isn't a surprise to me and that we've been broken up at least long enough for you to form a new relationship and for me to be ok enough to give you my blessing. And that way when me and Draco eventually come out they wont think I stepped out on Ginny, either."

"And as much as I hate all of this, it will at least give people a plausible explanation for how our two groups came together. Otherwise, they'd probably just conclude that Malfoy imperiused us all after today's events." Said Weasley. "It actually kind of helps that he almost ate that killing curse today, too." Draco frowned but Ron just shrugged. "Hey, death eater kids wanting to kill you for helping Harry Potter is a real help here. The current rumor circulating is that you imperiused him to set _him_ up to be in the line of Theo's curse but we'll just have to convince people that is was, indeed, meant for you."

Blaise shook his head. "You all really like to dabble in social suicide, don't you? This is why we don't date Gryffindors, you guys have no sense of self-preservation." He threw up his hands in surrender as Ginny pointed her wand at his face. "Ok, ok I'll do it in the name of scandal. ....And in the hope that it gets me--"

"Watch it!" Shouted Weasley.

"STEP TWO!" Ginny shouted over her brother. "Make Draco seem likable."

"Yes." Granger continued. "Mcgonagall is arranging for the house tables to be removed and replaced with smaller, circular tables for tonight that make it easier to mingle. That way, Draco will be able to be integrated with the student body but be surrounded by the DA and it'll look more like a bunch of 7th and 8th years bonding and less like..."

"Like a pathetic and desperate attempt to make me look less sorry?" Draco said ruefully. 

"Pretty much, mate." Piped up Weasley. "I went to meet with the other members of the DA to brief them and they were genuinely happy to hear the news about you two. Lots of congratulations and mostly everyone was open to being apart of this mission."

"_Mostly_ everyone?" He asked curiously. 

"Well, your boy Michael seems convinced that you can't be serious and thus must be manipulating or charming Harry." Ron narrowed his eyes at him.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Just because I didn't want a relationship with _him_ doesn't mean I can't want one with Harry." Harry squeezed his hand.

"Oh, the drama! Gotta love it!" Exclaimed Blaise.

"Ooh, I do hope he can keep it together. It's not going to help to have a member of the DA spreading such rumors." Granger said anxiously.

"That's it. I'm coming!" Harry insisted from beside him.

"Harry, it's not going to help if you go all mental again! Then Malfoy is going to have to do the mind fuck mambo jumbo thing again and we're back where we started, mate." Ron said before stuffing his mouth, having somehow found Draco's can of biscuits. "We'll look after him."

Draco rolled his eyes. "This is ridiculous! It's dinner." He said, crossing his arms grumpily. "I've been going to formal events with my parents my whole life, I know how to show up, be fake and act like I like everybody."

"Draco!" Harry admonished.

"Well that's the thing, isn't it?" asked Hermione. "People expect you to be fake. The objective is for you to try to _genuinely_ connect with people. Really try to get to know them and see if you like them for real. Besides, these are Harry's friends. If you're really going to be a part of his life you should really try to be friends with his friends."

"Merlin, help me." He muttered irritably.

Harry grabbed him by the hand and pulled him over to the side. "What's the matter?"

"_This!_ All of this! You are all risking your own reputations but what are you expecting of me in return?! To be this fake, friendly bloke who wears his heart on his sleeve?" He scoffed angrily. "Harry, I'm not even friends with my own friends! Not really... Blaise and Pansy are the closest but even they get bits and snippets. Everyone sees the parts of me that are necessary, when they are necessary."

"What are you afraid they'll see?" Harry asked gently.

Draco looked back warily into green eyes. He looked away as he remembered his father's words from the night before he was to go away to Hogwarts. _"Head up high. Back straight. You are a Malfoy, therefore you shall be the picture of elegance and power. Only associate with those who will reflect the same. Remember, never show your full hand and you do not show weakness, under any circumstance. And I want to hear no word of that sissy shite, do you understand me, Draco?"_

"I've seen a lot of sides of you, Draco, and do you know my favorite?"

He shook his head.

"When you forget that you think you're supposed to be playing a role. When your hair is a mess, when you're wearing pajamas instead of expensive clothes, when your glasses are on display and you're just excited to talk about the things you're passionate about... I love it when you smile that broad unguarded smile or --" he kissed the corner of Draco's mouth. "--_that _cute little shy one. You're the most genuine when you let the mask slip. Why don't you want other people to see that?"

He shook his head. "I can only do that with you." He pouted, his voice small. He felt mortified that his eyes were starting to burn. Harry pulled him into an embrace and kissed his forehead.

"You want me to come with you?"

Draco shook his head again. "No, Ron's right." Harry smiled at him funny. "What?"

His smile widened. "You just called him _'Ron'_!"

"Oh." He turned to look at Weasley but was taken aback to see the whole room, Snape included, watching them interact with mouths open in shock. He was fairly certain that they couldn't hear them speaking over in this corner so he looked to them with a raised eyebrow. "What?"

"Oh, this is for real for real." Blaise said appraisingly.

"Oh bugger." Astoria finally spoke, rolling her eyes. "And they're actually cute. Ok, I guess I'm on board." Daphne smirked and nodded in agreement.

Draco and Harry looked at each other in confusion.

"I have no idea what you two were talking about but Malfoy just acted like a real teenager for a good 2 minutes. Whatever that was, bottle it, cork it, and let's take it to dinner!" Exclaimed Ginny with a clap of her hands.

"Oh." he said again. "Hmm... I don't know if I can do that without Harry... But I'll try. It'll help if Luna's there, she always throws me off guard!"

They all laughed.

* * *

"Ok, I'm ready." Draco said, finally, as he joined them in the dungeon corridor.

Harry beamed at him when he realized that he'd actually put on his glasses and washed the Sleekeazy's out of his hair. Harry thought he looked very adorably nervous and the fact that Harry could tell that he was nervous made him feel inexplicably proud of him. He wanted to kiss him but the corridor was full of passing Slytherins who were already shooting them all incredulous looks.

"Ok, it's showtime." Ginny said, looking up into Blaise's eyes. He kissed her and they immediately heard the distinct sound of the clash of metal as someone ran into a suit of armor. They all smiled at each other as they heard the buzz of whispers start to spread.

"Oh, this is going to be fun." Smirked Blaise as he wrapped an arm around Ginny's waist and they began to walk. Harry walked so that he was on the right of Blaise. Hermione was next to him with Draco, Ron, and the girls close behind.

"So," Ron said as they walked past a group of dumbfounded Ravenclaws. "The Chudley Cannons or Puddlemere United this year?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Blaise looked over his shoulder. "Of course it's Puddlemere!"

"No way, mate! Cannons all the way!"

"Ron, you are grossly underestimating the Holyhead Harpies, my Galleon's on them taking it all." Ginny chimed in.

"Ha! Not with Puddlemere just snagging their chaser. Wilda Griffiths just signed with Puddlemere." Said Draco.

"What?! That traitor!" Said Astoria.

Jaws continued to drop as they walked past and Harry couldn't help but laugh mirthfully. He nudged Blaise with his elbow. "You're right, this _is_ fun." He looked over his shoulder as he spoke to Ron. "As much as I'd like to root for the Cannons, Puddlemere's seeker, Benjy Williams, is going to be a force this year."

"I don't know much about Quidditch, but I can say that that Benjy Williams is one fine hunk of man." Said Daphne salaciously.

"Um-hmm." Ginny and Draco both agreed and it was enough to send them all into a fit of giggles right as they reached the Great Hall.

"Harry! Draco!" came Luna's airy voice. He gave her a one armed hug and she bounced over and gave Draco a squeeze. 

"Good job on saving Harry earlier! Those wrackspurts were everywhere!" 

"Yea, good one!" Said Dean who'd come over and clapped Draco on the shoulder. Draco looked a little stiff so Harry walked over and put a hand on his back and he immediately felt his tension ease. 

"Yea, thanks again, mate. Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't got there in time." Harry said cheerfully. He glanced around to take in the shocked onlookers. 

"Yea, yea." Said Seamus, who came over and kissed Dean on the cheek. "That's all great but did you see the House Points? McGonagall decided to award this git here 50 points and now Slytherin is in the lead! Something about knowing when to step in and help a fellow student in crisis despite house lines, defying expectations or some rubbish like that." He said teasingly through a big smile. He leaned in so only the two of them could hear him. "And thanks for giving Dean and I the courage to finally come out. We've gotten nothing but support so far and you two definitely have ours." Harry smiled brightly and turned to see that Draco looked genuinely touched.

"Are you two ok?" Neville asked sincerely with Hannah by his side.

They both nodded. 

"Congratulations, you two." Parvati whispered with a wink and then said louder for the onlookers: "Glad you're both ok then! Oh, and Lavender's party is this weekend. Harry, did Draco tell you that you two are going to be in charge of making the cake?"

"Wait, what?" He asked, actually baffled. Draco just looked at him wryly and shrugged. He laughed. "Ok, sure, Parvati."

"Excuse me. Excuse me!" Came a chorus of little voices and Harry watched as the group of 7th and 8th years were parted. He looked down to see Wilamina pushing her way through the crowd followed by Walden and Ariela and a number of their nervous looking first year friends. The girls hugged Harry and Draco when they reached them and Walden bounced up and down with excitement.

"That was so cool earlier! How you stopped Harry from going mental and then you all stared down that killing curse! _Wicked_!" He said. 

"We were so worried!" Ariela said, eyes bright and on the verge of tears.

"Yea, we thought that great stupid brute was going to kill you!" Wila pouted and crossed her arms petulantly. 

Draco and Harry exchanged glances and he watched as the rest of Draco's guard seemed to melt. To have these little ones genuinely care without it having to feel staged was clearly meaningful for him. 

He crouched down to be on their level and gave them big hugs. "I'm ok. Thank you for caring."

"Why did he do that?" Sniffed Ariela.

Draco looked thoughtful. "Because I'm really not very good at being the death eater everyone wants me to be. Apparently being friends with Harry Potter is the only _real _way to get excommunicated." He laughed genuinely. 

Harry stepped back and took a look at the scene. He felt a sense of real joy at seeing all of his friends welcoming Draco and bridging gaps. It also warmed his heart to see Draco slowly start to warm up and laugh and joke with them, and not in the pompous, slightly mean way that everyone was used to. People from all houses were whispering all around them and Harry chuckled to himself.

"Mr. Potter." Harry looked up to see McGonagall smiling, too. "It is a beautiful thing to see inter-house unity. Oh, but I do believe you are about to be tardy for your meeting?"

Did Mcgonagall just wink?

"Oh!" Harry jumped. "Yes! I hate to miss the feast but yea, I've got to get going!" He made a show of shouting over the crowd: "Ron! I've got to go, make sure to save me some pumpkin pasties!"

Ron gave him a nod and a salute. Draco looked at him, slightly nervously. Harry stuck his tongue out at him briefly and was rewarded with that toothy, carefree smile. He left and went to wait for Draco in Snape's quarters.

* * *

Draco smiled as he headed back to Snape's accompanied by Blaise and the girls. He'd actually enjoyed himself tonight.

"Thanks, you guys. You really showed up for me today."

"You're welcome, Draco." Said Astoria. "Would you like to play exploding snap or something now?"

"No, thanks. It's been a long day."

"In other words, he'd like to get laid." Blaise teased. "Let's leave the love-birds be."

Draco laughed but stopped when he noticed that Astoria looked hurt.

"Are we ok, Story?" he asked gently.

She shrugged. "Yea.. Never mind me, Draco.... Our moms just had this grand idea that the two of us should get married."

"What?" Draco asked incredulously. He put his head in his hands groaned, reminded of the talk he needed to have with mother. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I assumed you knew." She shrugged and Daphne put a hand on her back.

"Wait, you actually _wanted_ to marry this prick?" Blaise chimed in.

"I don't know, it made for a fun fantasy."

Draco laughed. He pulled her to his side and kissed the top of her head. "Story, while I love you and think you're absolutely lovely, I think a dickless future would be hell for the both of us."

They all laughed. "Ok, ok! Go get your man!" Daphne pushed him towards the door and he waved good-bye as he let himself into the office.

He entered the sitting room and paused. Harry was curled up peacefully on the couch, the warm glow of the firelight making him look like a kid who'd fallen asleep waiting up too long for Father Christmas. Draco smiled. He lifted his copy of _The Clinical Handbook of Mindfulness _out of Harry's hand and covered him with his blanket. 

He walked over to the bedroom and sat down at the writing desk with quill and parchment. He stared at it blankly for nearly an hour before he finally wrote a word. He'd thought it'd be a long letter but when he finished it was only about half a foot long.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so happy! He and Draco had spent most of the next day in matching pairs of Draco's fancy silk pajamas and canoodling near the fire with mugs of warm butterbeer or, otherwise, snogging each other senseless. He could only assume that this was what regular teens did but, if so, boy had he been missing out!

It wasn't until the second time that the snogging turned into frotting that Draco finally pulled away breathless.

"Harry, I think we've got to talk about sex before you drive me mad." he said from his position atop Harry, leaning in to capture his bottom lip and tugging once more before he sat up. Harry moaned and reluctantly sat up, too. "What do you want, Harry?"

"Erm..." he felt his face heat up. What was he supposed to say?

Draco shook his head and kissed him chastely. "There is no right or wrong answer, I just want to get a sense of where you're at so I don't make assumptions."

Harry swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly going dry. "Well... I've probably thought about sex more in the past 48 hours than I've ever done in my life and... there's something about the idea of it being with _you_ that just makes it feel... _right_ and even more exciting than scary..." He admitted.

Draco's responding smile was refreshing but, always too observant when it came to Harry, he quickly sobered and pressed for more. "But?"

"But..." Harry's wry smile turned sad. "But then I worry that that's just me pretending I'm a regular teenage boy again and not an extremely fucked up one... Every time I let myself pretend that I can be normal and happy, then BOOM! I'm seeing dead bodies or remembering the most awful fucking things! What's going to happen if I get triggered during sex? What if I dissociate?" If he were honest, he had a lot of fear around it.

"Why pretend then?" Draco asked matter-of-factly.

Harry scoffed. "Draco, what else am I supposed to do? Just admit that I'm miserable and hopeless?"

Draco had rolled his eyes. "Harry, as your boyfriend, am I still allowed to call you an idiot when you're being an idiot?"

Harry's mouth dropped, taken aback. "Yes, but --"

"Harry... Think about what we've bonded over... Me witnessing your rape, the times we were almost killed, people dying -- no, being _murdered_ \-- in front of us, being expected to kill others... Harry, we're _both_ fucked up! It's why we get each other in the first place! Before, I might have thought being fucked up meant miserable, too, but I'm not miserable... Not with you, at least." He smiled shyly and then rolled his eyes at himself. "It's actually been pretty restorative to talk about some of these things with you and know you get it. Maybe pretending we're normal and untouched by trauma won't work for us."

Harry contemplated that for a moment. Maybe Draco was right. It _was_ the moments that made him feel like Draco saw through the facade and acknowledged the shitty things that made him feel most connected, after all.

"So, how do we not pretend when it comes to sex?"

"Well, first of all, I think not acknowledging your sexual trauma would be foolish for both of us. You've got to remember that I was there, too, Harry... It was traumatic for me in a different type of way..." He swallowed hard and Harry'd stared into intense grey eyes that showed a glimpse of the pain behind them. He had never thought much about what that must've been like for Draco to have witnessed. "It's a particular type of hell to stand by helplessly and watch someone you lo--" He stopped himself but Harry's heart still fluttered. "To watch someone you care about -- even if you _are_ pretending to hate them at the time -- be hurt in that way. I would feel so shitty to ever be in some way responsible for replicating that or making you feel how you did when they did that to you... But... Knowing how trauma works, I also recognize that there's a very real chance that I might -- even if inadvertently. You don't know what your triggers are yet and so everything will be trial and error for a while. You probably _will_ be triggered at some point and that's why its important that we talk about it now so that you feel safe and comfortable and trust that I'll have your well-being in mind in those moments."

Harry was overcome with warm feelings of gratitude. "Thank you, Draco." He'd said, his voice cracking. "You've no idea how much that means to hear."

Draco leaned over and kissed him on his scar. No one had ever done that... Most people were apt to gawk at it but even those who had been close to him always seemed fearful of touching it. It felt sort of symbolic in that moment: Draco being the only one who wanted to touch the trauma, and doing it so gently.

"It's going to be important that you be as honest as possible, though. Every step of the way. And I mean that about everything from your fears, to how you're feeling, to what you want to try and if you change your mind, to what you like and don't like, any discomfort you may have -- everything." Harry nodded, realizing that while it might make things clumsy and awkward, the fact that Draco even cared to know those things was already making him feel safer. "Before we do anything, it might be helpful for you to have a plan to stay grounded and present with what's actually going on so you don't get stuck in your head. Have you been meditating?"

"Yea! I started practicing those mindfulness exercises in your book last night! They were really helpful."

"Well maybe it could be helpful to practice being mindful and present with sensation first. Hmm..." His eyes lit up. "Ok, Harry. I want you to try meditating for a whole week and if you do it every single day, maybe we can try something."

* * *

"Mate, are you doing that weird thing again?"

"Shhh!" Harry practiced noting his irritation and letting it float by like watching a wave from the sand. He cracked one eye to see Ron staring down at him warily from the couch before closing it again. "I'm meditating."

Harry had spent the whole week practicing mindfulness meditations in every spare moment he could find. While he had found the concept intriguing enough on its own, Draco had given him some external motivation that he couldn't resist.

It was now Sunday and he was sitting crossed legged on the floor in the common room preparing to meet up with Draco to _"Try something."_

He heard Ginny laugh. "Harry, if you don't stop and just get on with it you're going to be late for your date."

He sighed and gave up. "Ok, ok, I'm going." He said and stood.

"I really wish you wouldn't." Said Hermione from her position curled up next to Ron on the couch. She had intermittently switched between lecturing him about breaking rules and given him the cold shoulder all day. "But if you insist, be careful, Harry. And, I guess..." She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at the idea of encouraging him. "Have fun."

"Thanks, Hermione." He said, kissing her on the top of the head.

"Good luck, mate!" He heard as he closed the portrait and headed to meet Draco on the 5th floor with nervous anticipation. He reached the statue of Boris the Bewildered and counted 4 doors to the left.

"_Niffler_!" he said and stood back as the door to the prefect's bathroom opened. Draco was already there, carefully selecting the right combination of bubbles, soaps, and oils from the hundred golden taps around the pool-sized bath. Harry could already smell hints of lavender and eucalyptus. "You really couldn't just tell me the password? I had to ask Hermione and she was _not _happy."

Draco stood and smirked at him. "Because Hermione knowing buys us a good 3 hours of uninterrupted privacy."

Harry looked at him incredulously. "How so?"

"Because the head girl now thinks her best friend is about to get laid. Whether she likes breaking the rules or not, I can guarantee you she just sent out word to all the prefects and quidditch captains that the prefects bathroom is out of service for the next 3 hours." He smiled mischievously.

"Slytherins." He rolled his eyes.

"Yea, well, we do know how to get what we want." He said, the glint in his eye twinkling as he dropped his robes. Harry's eyes and mouth dropped with them, surprised to see that Draco was bare underneath them! All thoughts of Hermione went out the window as he took in the beauty that was a naked Draco Malfoy. His fantasies had been no match for reality and he was suddenly aware that this pale adonis was _his_ boyfriend.

Draco turned, briefly revealing a perfect arse before he dived in. He turned to float peacefully on his back. Harry suddenly felt nervous. The last time he was naked around anyone was...

"I find that it's easiest for me to be mindful and present when I'm either flying on a broomstick or floating in water." Draco called from the bath, bringing Harry back to the room. "Do you want to be mindful in the water with me? We really can just float and meditate if you want. You can even keep on your pants if it makes you more comfortable."

Harry took a deep breath and undressed. Draco was still floating and thankfully not watching him. He thought about leaving his pants on but reminded himself that he was a Gryffindor and this was Draco. He got closer to the water's edge before he quickly removed his pants and slid into the water so that his bottom half was no longer visible through the bubbles and he crouched down so only his head could be seen. He could feel the anxiety starting to bubble up.

Draco continued to float. He didn't pressure him to do anything at all, he just continued to float with his eyes shut. Harry started to do some of the deep breathing that he'd learned in the book and he gradually felt the anxiety dissipate.

"It's ok to let go, Harry. Let go and float. I won't even look if you don't want me to." Draco said, eyes still shut. 

Harry took one more deep breath and let himself fall backwards, gently. He struggled to float at first. It took him a few minutes to slow his breathing and relax his body enough that he could do it. It was incredibly peaceful and Harry found himself hyper aware of his senses. He could hear the sound of the rippling water in his ears and feel the warm wetness of the water on his skin and occasionally lapping over his face while he inhaled the fragment scents of lavender and eucalyptus. He was being mindful and it was oddly freeing. 

After about 15 minutes, when his nerves had calmed and anxiety had gone, he became increasingly aware of the fact that he had a naked Draco floating nearby and increasingly curious about what it would be like to touch a naked Draco. He let his feet touch the floor and walked over to Draco who finally opened his eyes and came out of his floating, too.

Harry came closer so that they were standing with only about a foot between them. "You're brilliant." He breathed.

"Yea, I know!" He flashed that toothy grin. "Did it help?"

Harry nodded. "Yes. Now, what is it you wanted to try?" He said, eyes raking Draco up and down.

Draco chuckled. "Eager, Potter?" he teased.

"Draco you're naked and gorgeous and I want to touch you!" He almost whined.

Draco angled his his hips back to create distance between them then leaned in for a quick kiss. "Not yet."

"Merlin, you're going to tease me to death!" Harry whimpered.

Draco abruptly grabbed him by the chin and kissed him deeply. Harry felt himself melt and his already half-hard cock grow. Shockwaves went through him and he moaned into the kiss as he felt it connect with Draco's hard length and they rubbed together briefly. Draco released him and exhaled a shuddering breath to try to compose himself but, when he spoke, it was with a raspy voice and his eyes were dark with lust. "I could be so much more than a tease for you, Harry, but I need to know what's off limits first, ok?"

Harry nodded, breathless and lost in steel grey eyes like a deer caught in headlights. Why was that so hot? Draco took a deep breath and Harry realized that he was grounding himself. "Ok, are there any things that you already know you want to try? Anything you already know you _don't_ want to try or are nervous about?"

He felt the blush creep up his neck. "Well... when it comes to... who does what... I think I want to try both ways, eventually... But I think I would have to build up to the one way..."

Draco stared at him incredulously with one brow raised for a long moment before he rolled his eyes and smirked. "Gryffidors. Supposedly so brave but always the most prudish."

"Hey!"

Draco leaned in so close that Harry could feel his breath against his ear as he talked. "Harry, are you trying to say that you think you would want to top and are curious about bottoming but nervous?" Harry nodded slowly, swallowing hard.

"I think about what it would be like a lot... To have you inside me and it be different... Gentle." His dick jumped against Draco's and he heard Draco's soft intake of air. "But I think it's also what terrifies me the most in all of this."

Draco pulled back and his eyes softened as he searched his and he nodded slowly. "Ok, we'll take our time with that. Build up to it, go slow. Is there anything you know you _don't _want to do?"

Harry bit his lip nervously. "Well... I don't think I could ever..." He paused. What if this was a deal breaker for Draco?

Draco leaned in and kissed him quickly. "Suck cock?" He finished for him, searching his eyes. How did he _do _that? "It's ok. What about being on the receiving end?"

Harry had gotten so used to thinking of oral sex as something taboo that he hadn't even thought about receiving it! But, now, the thought of Draco's warm mouth on him made his cock grow inexplicably and impossibly harder.

"...You... You would want...?"

Draco chuckled. "Harry Potter, you have no idea the things I would do to you if only you'd allow me." He said.

"Ok." He said breathlessly.

"Ok?"

Harry nodded.

"Wait... Harry, what are you agreeing to?"

"It's ok for you to do things. I want you and I trust you and I'm willing to try." he swallowed.

"Ok." Draco stared intensely into his eyes. "Ok, let's see what you like." he said as he leaned in and captured Harry's bottom lip and sucked on it gently, his firm hands making their way to Harry's back. Harry mewled and wrapped his arms around Draco's waist, pulling them closer and relishing the feel of his wet, toned muscles flexing against his skin. Draco paused to slowly run his teeth along the scruff of his jawline, stopping when he reached his ear and sucking on his earlobe. Harry gasped. "Remember to breathe," he said softly into his ear, the vibrations resonating directly in Harry's groin. "Be mindful of the sensations you feel in the here and now without getting stuck in your head. And if there's anything you don't like or you want me to stop, promise me you'll let me know." Harry moaned in response. Draco licked at the tender spot under his ear and Harry thought he might come undone. Draco pulled away abruptly and he was left whimpering.

Draco smiled at him impishly and Harry pouted. "Un-un-un, I need to hear you promise."

"I promise!" Harry said desperately, breathlessly.

Draco took mercy on him and resumed the sweet, wonderful, slow and pleasurable torture of his tongue. He sucked again at the soft spot under his ear and Harry threw his head back in pleasure.

"You like that?" He said between soft kisses and gentle sucking.

"_Yes_!" he mewled.

He could feel Draco smile against his throat before he began his descent lower, licking down his neck. He paused to run his tongue around the hollow of his throat and Harry could feel the vibrations of his own moans there before Draco resumed his slow, downward path of kissing and sucking. He stopped at his chest and twirled his tongue around his left nipple and Harry threw his head back again and moaned loudly.

"Does that feel good?" he asked. Harry, nodded fervently. He tugged gently with his teeth and Harry hissed with pleasure, his cock pulsing against Draco's thigh. "You're very responsive, Harry. I like that." He kissed his nipple and moved to repeat the dance with the right one. Draco let his hands run down Harry's sides and back up his abdomen and chest, standing up straight to kiss Harry's lips again. His tongue swept across his bottom lip and Harry moaned into the kiss as Draco's left hand traveled up to the nape of his neck and deepened the kiss, their tongues and teeth clashing passionately. Harry's breath hitched as Draco's right hand began its slow descent back down his abdomen and then --

_"Oh, Merlin!"_ He thought to himself. Draco Malfoy was touching him _there_!

"Breathe, Harry." Draco said, kissing him gently on the corner of the mouth then pulling back and searching his eyes. Harry let out a breath that he didn't even realize he was holding. He took a couple of deep breaths when he realized that the anxiety was building and Draco stilled his hand but didn't remove it. Harry closed his eyes for a moment and again tried to be mindful of the lavender and eucalyptus as he inhaled and exhaled, the sound and feel of the water, and the fact that he was here with Draco, the person he felt safest with in the whole wide world. He opened his eyes and smiled at Draco. The concern in his eyes dissipated as he saw Harry relax and he returned the smile.

"Good boy." he said as he kissed Harry again. "Do you want me to continue?"

"Yes, please." He said, thrusting his hips to encourage Draco's hand to get moving again. Draco obliged and Harry mindfully let himself enjoy the exquisite feel of Draco Malfoy's hand sliding along his cock. He found Draco's lips with his own, this time, eagerly rubbing circles along Draco's tongue with his own. Harry didn't think it could get any better than this but then Draco repositioned himself so that he held both his and Harry's cock in his hand and began stroking both together.

"Sweet baby Merlin!" Harry exclaimed against Draco's lips which were now forming into a smirk. He sped up the tempo and just when Harry was ready to cry out, sure he couldn't take it any more, he stopped!

"Nope, not yet!"

Harry thought he might actually cry. "Draco!"

Draco smirked and kissed him chastely before walking him backwards to the top of the bath. Harry was surprised when he placed both hands on his bum and lifted him up so that he was sat perched on the side of the bath, Draco's eyes now level with his chest and his mouth very close to his... Was he really going to do _that_? He wondered in nervous anticipation.

Draco began the slow assault of his tongue down his chest again, the tip sending shivers through Harry's body as it made its way down the grooves of his abdomen. Draco sent sweet, open-mouthed kisses down Harry's V and he braced himself as he continued to his inner thighs. If he kept this up, he was going to come purely from the anticipation.

"Draco!" He cried out desperately and Draco finally obliged. Harry watched as he licked up the underside of his cock with the flat of his tongue. Harry had never felt anything like this and he was completely lost in sensation as Draco's tongue flicked at his frenulum before making it's way up to the head and twirling around the tip, lapping up the precum that had already beaded there in the short time that he'd been out of the water.

Harry threw his arms out behind him to brace himself but nothing could prepare him for the overwhelming feeling of Draco's impossibly warm, incredibly wet mouth sheathing his cock.

"Draco, I'm going to-- I can't!" He warned as all of his muscles threatened to tense. But instead of pulling away, Draco began to suck in earnest, his cheeks hallowing as he moved up and down, his fingers making their way to his balls. Just as Harry decided to that he couldn't fight it any longer, he felt Draco relax his throat and somehow take him even deeper, his long tongue darting out to lick his balls. Harry's eyes rolled in the back of his head and he could have sworn he went both blind and death but he couldn't even bring himself to mind as he came hard, shooting stream after stream of thick, warm cum down Draco's throat.

"_Holy SHIT!_" Was all he could manage to say as his heart rate started to return to normal along with the rest of his senses.

Draco reached up and his hand found its way back to the nape of his neck and he kissed Harry hard. The faint salty, tangy taste of his own cum was still on Draco's tongue but, for some reason, it just seemed like the sexiest fucking thing and he kissed him harder. Draco had begun jerking his own cock but Harry knocked his hand away and took over, relishing the feel of his cock in his hand. He wanted to be the one to make Draco come. Draco whimpered against his mouth and Harry sped up the tempo, knowing he was close. He felt Draco's cock pulse as creamy, warm cum shot from the tip and across Harry's stomach.

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's neck and Draco's arms wrapped around him with his hands nestled at the small of his back. They stayed like that, forehead to forehead, for a long moment while both of their breathing calmed.

"Wow." He finally said and Draco pulled back to kiss him chastely.

"Wow." He echoed.

"That was incredible, Draco!" he smiled brightly. "Is it always like that?"

"Harry, I've never experienced anything like that before in my life! That was the sexiest thing I've ever..." He paused, shaking his head in disbelief. "Merlin, I'm lucky." Awe reflected in his eyes as he stared back into Harry's.

"Really? Never??"

Draco shrugged. "I told I'm used to being selfish with sex. I'm usually getting head or just fucking, I've never given before."

"Wait -- You've never done that before?! No, _I'm_ the lucky one! What made you do it with me then?" He asked, dumbfounded.

Draco shrugged again. "I don't know, I just really wanted to." He laughed. "Boy am I glad I did!"

"Me, too, Draco. Me, too." They laughed together.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

"I need coffee, immediately." Draco demanded as he tied his tie into a perfect knot on Monday morning. 

He and Harry had stayed up quite late experimenting with... _mindful touching_. Now they were both thoroughly sated but starving and tired.

"Let's just make a quick trip to the Great Hall." Harry suggested as he clumsily tied his own garishly scarlet and gold tie. 

Draco quirked an eyebrow at him, questioningly, as he shooed Harry's hands away and did up the tie himself. "You feeling masochistic today, Potter?"

Harry chuckled. "No, but isn't that the point of all this mindfulness? So I can be in stressful settings without freaking out? I've got to try it out sooner or later." He shrugged. "Plus, I promised Ron he could copy my charms."

Draco rolled his eyes but gathered his things and they headed to the Great Hall none the less. 

Draco was still hyper aware of all the eyes on them as they walked. He and Harry weren't out as a couple yet. Penelope Periwinkle had a whole plan in place to "_break it gently to the public_" that included Draco getting the groups running before the holidays, an interview with the _Witch Weekly_ that he was nervous as all hell about, and just letting people get used to seeing them be friendly to each other, period. They didn't mind it right now -- With both of them being so much in the public eye, they were enjoying their privacy and just sharing their relationship with their close friends. However, it meant seeing them together, even as friends, brought on a lot of curious stares. Before, it was easier to deal with: he'd just put on his mask and be fine. But, now that he was going for the whole _real _and _vulnerable _thing, these scenarios were suddenly so much more anxiety provoking. 

"Let's make this quick, please." He said as they entered through the doors. 

"Ok, I'll just drop off the essay and we can grab a coffee and some toast." Harry agreed as they marched over to the Gryffindor table. 

Draco tried to ignore the eyes on them from all around the room and just focus on their group of friends. He was grateful to see Blaise sitting next to Ginny and hoped it would make it slightly less awkward. 

"Hey guys!" Said Neville as they approached and they were met with a chorus of "Hi, Harry!" and "Hi, Draco!"

"Oh, thank Merlin, mate!" Said Ron gratefully as Harry pulled out his essay. 

"Harry! You've got to stop enabling him!" Said Hermione. 

"He wouldn't have to enable me if you would just let me copy yours!"

Draco couldn't help but smile. He would never admit it to them, but their ridiculous banter was starting to grow on him. He rolled his eyes at himself as Blaise and Ginny turned in their seats to face him. 

"How'd '_trying something_' go?" Asked Ginny? Blaise nodded excitedly, eager for info. 

Draco leaned in so that only the 2 of them could hear him, knowing that Blaise, of all people, would appreciate what it meant. "I gave head last night and it was bloody good head." He smiled proudly. 

Blaise gasped. "Shut the front door! Draco, I dare say, I think you're in --"

Draco discreetly pointed his wand at his friend from under his sleeve. "Don't let all the Gryffindors make you _that _bold, Blaise."

Blaise chuckled and raised his hands in surrender. Draco reached for some of Blaise's toast just as the morning post arrived. 

His stomach dropped as he spotted the eagle owl among them. He put out his arm so she'd have somewhere to perch since he was still standing and he was surprised to see that she carried two letters this time, both sporting the elegant, green slanted handwriting he had come to expect. He removed one but when he reached for the other she screeched and threatened to nip him with her beak.

"What?" He asked confused. 

"Hey, is that for _me_?" Asked Harry, now beside him.

"Why would it--" he paused as he looked closer and realized that his father had scrawled _Mr. Harry James Potter _on the second letter. Draco stared at Harry with wide eyes as he reached out and took the letter. _Oh no! _Draco thought as the owl flew off again. What could father have possibly written to _Harry_?!

Harry didn't get a chance to open the letter because there was a sudden gasp from Hermione as she opened her Daily Prophet. Draco felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck as a hush seemed to sweep through the Great Hall followed quickly by the too loud murmur of what felt like hundreds of whispers. 

Blaise was on his feet and grabbed him by the arm. "We have to go, Draco."

"What?" He asked, perplexed but suddenly inexplicably frightened. 

"What's going--" Harry started to say before Hermione shoved the Prophet under his nose. 

Draco turned around to see eyes on him from every direction, including Stori and Daphne's worried, tearful stares. When he saw Mcgonagall swooping down from the head table in his direction, he knew. 

"Draco--" Draco put out a hand to stop Harry from talking. He couldn't look at him right now. He needed his mask and he could never keep his mask on when he looked at Harry. He turned to Blaise instead. 

"Mother or father?"

"Your father." He said solemnly. 

He nodded once and very carefully made sure that his mask was in place and his feelings nicely pocketed. "Excuse me. I need to be alone." He paused. He still couldn't bare to look at Harry but he turned his head in his direction, eyes on the floor. "Don't follow me."

And he walked out before anyone could say another word. 

* * *

Harry stood there speechless, frozen on the spot for a long moment feeling numbed by the sudden onset of feelings. He felt hurt, confused, and overwhelmingly worried about Draco. He realized that all eyes had shifted onto him. He put the letter that was still in his hand in his robe pocket and started to go after Draco regardless of what he'd just said.

Blaise reached out a hand to still him. 

"He just needs a little space. Give him time."

"What?" Harry said as his senses seemed to slowly return to him. 

"That's what Draco does to be ok. He isolates."

Harry suddenly felt himself get really annoyed. "Yea, so do I but that's bullshit." He thought back on all the loss he experienced in his life and every time he pushed people away when he really just wanted someone to sit with him in the anger and the pain. "Excuse me." He said as he side stepped a dumbfounded Blaise and followed after Draco. 

There was no answer when he knocked on the door to Snape's quarters. He tried the door and was surprised to find it unlocked. Maybe Draco really did hope he would follow. 

Harry felt his heart break when he walked into the sitting room to find Draco sitting on the couch looking lost, his face blank but eyes red beneath his glasses. 

He dropped his bag and rushed to his side, pulling Draco into his lap. Draco didn't protest and Harry thought it partially because he just didn't have the energy to. He just buried his face into Harry's chest. 

"I thought I told you not to follow me?" He said at last into his chest. 

"Draco, when have I ever not followed you? Especially when you didn't want me to?" he teased gently.

"Nosy git." He said weakly. 

Harry just kissed the top of his head. "There's no way I'd ever let you go through this alone."

"What did the Daily Prophet say happened?" 

"It said that he died of natural causes." Harry didn't know that he believed that but maybe Draco would. 

"That's a lie." Draco pushed at Harry's chest angrily and stood, quickly crossing the room. "He was killed because I didn't join the resistance like I was supposed to. I didn't lead like I was supposed to! And then I as good as publicly switched sides... This is my fault, Harry!" he growled. 

Harry shook his head. "Draco, it's not your fault..."

Draco grabbed a jar of something suspended in liquid from the nearest shelf and flung it forcefully into the fire.

"Potter, get out!"

Harry froze.

"GET OUT! NOW!" He'd pulled out his wand and pointed it at him. Harry took a deep breath and stood. He raised both hands and walked slowly towards Draco.

"Draco, you're just going to have to curse me because I'm not leaving you."

Draco cried out as he lowered his wand but grabbed a book off the shelf and slung it at Harry.

"What don't you understand?! I was so caught up in stupid sissy shit with Harry Fucking Potter that I got my own father killed! I can't do this any more!"

Harry paused, stung.

"Is that really what you think, Draco?"

It seemed to register for Draco the severity of the line he'd crossed because the angry mask slipped and his bottom lip poked out and quivered, revealing a very sad, scared little boy. Harry closed the distance and Draco fell onto him, sobbing into his chest completely anguished and heartbroken.

"I shouldn't even care!" He growled. "Harry, why do I even care? My father was a horrible person."

Harry thought for a moment. On any other day, he would have loved to count the ways that Lucius Malfoy was a shitty person. But this was not the day or time and so Harry forced himself to think outside of the black and white and focus on the gray that was Lucius Malfoy.

"Because your father was a complex person, Draco. I don't think that anyone who could love you as much as Lucius did could be _all_ bad."

Draco buried his head into his chest and sobbed harder. 

* * *

The next few days went by in a haze. Mother was still in the south of France because it wasn't safe for her to come back here yet until they knew what happened. She'd told him to stay at Hogwarts in the meantime. Draco didn't leave his hideout in the dungeons and Harry hardly left his side except to go get him food and try to force him to eat. 

There were tense moments of anger and he'd even lashed out and come to blows with Harry a few times. He wanted Harry to hit back and breakup with him because that's what he deserved, but he wouldn't. He'd just stand there and look at him until Draco felt stupid and fell to the ground crying. Then Harry would pick him up and hold him close, no matter how much he pushed him away. 

He was wrestling with so many emotions that he just didn't want to feel and didn't know how to get away from them. He felt like a shaken bottle of Pumpkin Fizz, ready to explode. Finally, it dawned on him what he needed.

"Harry, I need you to fuck me. Hard."

"I'm sorry, what?" Said Harry from his permanent post by his side.

"If you care about me, then that's what I need." He knew that they'd talked about Harry not being ready to bottom, but he should be able to top, right?

Harry seemed conflicted. "Draco, what if what I want to do to you is a lot gentler than that?"

"What, you want to _make love _to me?" He smirked sarcastically. 

Harry was looking at him oddly. "What if I do?"

He rolled his eyes. "Harry, don't be ridiculous. We're not girls, we don't need all of that."

Harry seemed to be contemplating something for a long moment. "Draco... You mentioned before that you used to consider yourself selfish with sex and that you used to just fuck. Did you mean you used to just top?"

Why was this important? Was he going to fuck him or not? "With Blaise and Michael, yes. But I'm more than willing to be the bottom here, it's fine. Can we get on with it or not?"

"But, with the muggles you said you were buggered..."

"Yes, so what? Now you know I can bottom, too, which is perfect, because that's what I want right now." he said impatiently.

"But, Draco... Did you want to get buggered by those muggles because you wanted to be punished?"

Draco paused, eyes wide. He didn't know what to say to that. He had never wanted to bottom because he thought of it as an exchange of power. This summer, however, when he felt at his weakest and most undeserving, he had thought it fitting to finally be fucked -- and by muggles, at that.

"What are you trying to punish yourself for now?"

"I'm... I'm not--"

"Draco, when we have sex for the first time I want to make love to you because, if it isn't obvious already, I _do _love you."

Draco felt his heart constrict and panic sink in. He wanted to run. "No. No no no no no no no." He shook his head. "Don't say that..."

Harry stared back at him, concerned and baffled. He tried to reach out but Draco shrunk away from his touch.

He shook his head frantically. "Don't say it! I don't deserve it! I don't!" Harry was there, pulling him onto his lap and cradling him close. He tried to push him away but he was racked with uncontrollable sobs that left him bereft. 

Harry kissed the top of his head gently. "Draco, I love you and you deserve it. Why do you think you don't?" 

Draco shook his head and sobbed until he couldn't cry anymore. "I don't deserve it." He sniffed. "I don't deserve it because I can't do anything right. I can't be a good bad guy or a good good guy."

Harry just held him tighter. "On Halloween, I sent father a letter saying that I had officially switched sides, that you and I were dating, and that I wanted to live my life for me and actually try to bring some good into this world even if it meant I had to risk my life and my reputation in the process. I told him I was sorry to let him down." He shook his head again. "That was the last thing he ever got from me. Me disowning everything he's ever believed in and, for what? What good have I actually put into the world? Even dating Mr. Goody-two-shoes Potter can't make me a better person."

"Draco, is that why your father sent us those letters?"

Draco froze. In the ensuing chaos, he had forgotten all about the letters! But surely they were his father expressing his disappointment and there was no way that that would help him right now.

"I can't read it." He shook his head.

"I haven't read mine. Do you want to read them together?"

"I can't..."

"Well... I really think you should read yours, Draco, but you can't stop me from reading mine." He said, standing to go and retrieve his from his robe pocket.

"No, Harry! It's not going to be nice!"

Harry shrugged. "I don't expect it to be. Lucius has never been nice to me. But what if it's something we need to know?"

Draco watched on the verge of panic as Harry sat back down and opened his letter. Draco studied his face carefully as he unfolded the parchment and read it. When a smile slowly spread across Harry's face, Draco let out a little breath of relief. It couldn't be that bad!

"What-- What does it say?" he asked hesitantly. 

Harry's smile widened brilliantly. "It says: _'Potter, Protect my son. And I still want an heir so figure it out.'_"

"What??" He snatched the parchment out of Harry's hand and read it over and over again. "Father gave you his blessing." He said in awe. He stood and rushed to get his own forgotten letter from his robe pocket.

_To my dearest son, Draco:_

_It is good to hear from you, at last. I was starting to fear that I had lost you forever. _ _I know that my choices have, in many ways, been at the severe detriment to our family _ _and, especially, to you. I had hoped that you would stay the path, mainly out of my _ _own fear for your safety if you were to stray. However, if you are going to stray, I guess _ _dating one of the most powerful and well protected wizards in the world should _ _probably keep you safe... You are braver than I ever was. I was a coward, and in the _ _process of trying to save my own hide, I have lost my dignity. I admire you for doing _ _what you believe is right, even though it comes with great personal risks._

_Please be safe, son. I have heard about Knott and I don't trust that he wont come after _ _you again. There is a plot for my death, as well, and I have no doubt that I could slither _ _my way out on top through the right lies and pledging of my allegiance, but, if I'm being _ _quite honest, I'm tired of the game. You've inspired me and I don't think I want to play _ _it anymore._

_If something is to happen to me, just know that I love you and I'm proud of you and that _ _it's not your fault. You have been my sole pride and joy these past 18 years and I hope _ _that you can finally find happiness._

_Love, your father, _

_Lucius Malfoy_

He read it three times through with shaking hands before he finally dissolved into tears. Harry pulled him back into his lap and took the letter from his hands. He ran his fingers through Draco's hair while he read it himself.

"That's brilliant, Draco!"

"I love you, Harry." He said softly, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck and pressing his forehead against his. 

"I know." He kissed him sweetly. "I love you more." This time he tugged at Draco's lip with his teeth when he pulled away, causing him to moan. 

He shifted Draco out of his lap and then stood, reaching out his hand for Draco to take it. He obliged and Harry tugged him up and led him into the bedroom. He turned to face Draco with pure love in his eyes.

Draco returned the look, staring intensely into green eyes as he pulled his tshirt over his head and then slowly undid the tie of his pajamas. Harry followed suit. When they were both naked, Draco led Harry over to the bed.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Harry?" He asked. 

Harry nodded. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life." He said, his voice raspy and eyes fiery with lust. "I want to try something."

Draco smiled teasingly. "_You _want to try something?" He said as he took off his glasses and reached up to grab Harry's, too. They hadn't done a lot but Harry was still relatively reserved and cautious when it came to sex. He could be assertive and aggressive right up until clothes came off and then he'd let Draco take the lead. "Whatever might that be?"

"It's a surprise." He said salaciously. "But if you don't like it, just let me know!" He added shyly, eyes wide. Draco just chuckled and kissed him softly. 

"Lay back." He said and Draco obliged. Draco had never had sex on his back before, the idea of looking into someone's eyes previously enough to make him cringe, but he realized now that Harry's eyes were his happy place and, right now, he didn't want it any other way.

Harry hovered above him and began to kiss him slowly down his body. Draco closed his eyes and arched and moaned into his touch, every kiss sending jolts directly to his groin. He had expected him to stop at his stomach so, when Harry sent sweet, open-mouthed kisses down the shaft of his cock, his eyes flew open. 

"Harry!" He cried out. "Wait, are you sure?" He knew this was big for Harry. 

Harry smirked up at him, Draco's cock in one hand, then he dipped his head and licked his balls, sending a shiver through Draco's body. "Perks of dating a Gryffindor, we like to do the things that scare us for the ones we love." He said, reaching for his wand as he came back up to give his swollen head attention. He dipped his tongue into the slit, licking up the precum and twirling his tongue around the tip. Draco threw his head back and moaned. 

He felt the wand tip at his arse and heard Harry mutter the cleaning incantation he'd used so many times himself, immediately feeling a tingling sensation. Harry put his wand aside and began kissing and licking back down his shaft. He grabbed both of Draco's calfs and pushed his legs back so that he had better access and he licked his balls again, gently sucking them into his mouth, making Draco's eyes roll back. Just as he was about to start praising the Gods, Draco felt Harry's sweet, wet, previously virgin tongue slip down to circle and suck at his tight rim.

"Holy shit! Harry!" He cried out in both surprise and ecstacy. 

He felt Harry smirk against his arse as he pushed Draco's legs back further. Draco had never felt anything like this in his life! He mewled as Harry continued to lick and suck at the tight, sensitive bundle of nerves there until Draco felt his rim start to relax enough that the tip of Harry's tongue gained entry. Draco temporarily saw white as Harry's tongue slowly stretched him open, the slurping sound almost enough to make him cum. As he felt himself relax completely, he couldn't help but bounce back against his tongue as Harry went impossibly deeper, actually fucking him with it now. 

"Harry!" He cried out desperately. 

Harry pulled out his tongue and replaced it with his wand tip as he quickly said the lubrication charm. He lined his thick, pulsing cock up with Draco's entrance, leaning down to kiss him fiercely, that tongue taking over his mouth possessively, passionately as he slowly entered Draco. He moaned loudly as he felt the sweet burn of Harry stretching him wide. Harry stilled when he was all the way in. He rested his forehead on Draco's, both of them glistening with sweat. 

"Oh, Draco Draco Draco." He sung reverently before capturing his lips with his own, gently sucking and kissing. He pulled back and bright, green eyes gazed intently into grey. He began to move his hips and Draco threw his head back in pure pleasure. Harry licked at his neck before using his forearms to rise up and really start to stroke. He angled his hips and Draco cried out! He had found his prostate. 

"You like that, my love?" Harry purred as he did it again. 

"Merlin, yes! Please!" He begged. Harry's resulting smile was breathtaking and he bit his lip in the sexiest way as he began to pick up the pace, and Draco was surprised when he felt his muscles start to clinch as Harry slammed repeatedly into _that_ spot!

"I. Love. You. So. Much. Draco. Malfoy." He said between strokes as he stared into Draco's eyes and it was too much! Draco saw white and his ears rang as he threw his head back and came hard, covering both his and Harry's stomach with cum, his arse clinching exquisitely around Harry's cock. That was enough to tip Harry over the edge, too. Harry cried out loudly and Draco felt his pulsing cock fill him as he stilled. 

Draco kissed him one more time before he pulled out of him with a faint _plop. _

Harry rolled over on his side and grinned at Draco. Draco could only stare back at him incredulously, mouth open wide and legs feeling like jelly. 

What was _that?!_

"So, do you like making love?"

Oh. That's what that was. 

"Harry, if that's making love then I don't ever want to do anything else! That was incredible!" Harry smirked back confidently. "Please tell me how on earth you went from not wanting to give head at all to rimming?? How did you even know that that was a thing??"

A faint blush touched his cheeks. "Hermione gave me a book." He shrugged.

"_Of course _she did!" Draco laughed. "I have got to remember to get that woman a Christmas present."

Harry chuckled. "I figured that would be a fun surprise. After you did oral to me, it actually made me want to try it, too, so I could be the one making you feel what you did. So I thought about what made it so scary for me and I realized that a big part of it is a fear of not being able to breath and being choked with cum or something." He winced but took a deep breath and put his hand on Draco's stomach to ground himself. "I figured licking and kissing might be ok."

"Well kissing and licking definitely works for me!" Draco laughed.

Harry gave a shy, wry smile. "I just don't think I'd ever want you to touch my hair during..."

Draco started to ask him why but then thoughts of _that_ day came back to mind. He kissed Harry on his scar. "I understand. Don't worry, I won't."

He shook his head so that their noses rubbed in an eskimo kiss. "How is it that _you _were the virgin, yet, you just gave _me _all the firsts? First time making love, first time face to face, first time being rimmed, _and _first time cumming from being topped."

"Really?!" Harry smiled brilliantly, excited. "Glad I could be your first in some ways too then."

Draco kissed him softly. "I love you."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Draco let Harry pick the name of his brainchild ;-)

# 🔮WITCH WEEKLY🔮

### Issue #987

###  **From Death Eater To Bleeding Heart(THROB💘): The Handsome, Young (Former) Bad Boy Now Leading The Charge In Postwar Healing Efforts**

(An interview by Grizel Hurtz)

The wizarding world has been all abuzz ever since it was first announced that the much anticipated Hedwig Foundation was set to break ground this summer. With meditation gardens, support groups, and restorative flying, the revolutionary new center aims to create a place where witches and wizards of all ages can find community, support, and outlets for healing in the aftermath of the Second Wizarding War. The facility is also to pay homage to the fallen through concepts like the Lavender Aromatherapy Room, Comedy Night in the Fred Weasley Lounge, and The Howl at the Moon scream room. Although there are few who can deny the need for such services, it seems that the _founders_ are garnering the most buzz. You see, Hedwig Foundation is the brainchild of _Draco Malfoy_ who teamed up with none other than our favorite hero, _Harry Potter, _to make this dream a reality!

Yes, you heard that right: In the biggest plot twist since Wilda Griffiths' trade to Puddlemere United, Hogwarts' (former) resident Death Eater, Draco Malfoy, has taken on an unexpected role as an advocate of mental health. I sat down with the 18-year-old for a tell-all interview right before today's official ribbon cutting ceremony. Dressed in his finest dress robes, the charmingly handsome young man talked candidly about his personal mission of healing trauma post war. 

**Draco, in the past 6 months, you have been the driver behind the new concept of restorative flying, the establishment of peer counseling at Hogwarts, and have partnered with Harry Potter, himself, to fund, build, and conceptualize the Hedwig Foundation. I have to say, I don't think anyone in our world expected this shift. **

I don't know that I fully expected it either, Grizel. I think I had given up on myself much as everyone else had. I'm just lucky that someone believed in me and was also willing to give me a good kick in the arse to remind me not to stop trying.

**Are you referring to your friendship with Harry Potter?**

Yes. Now that's another thing I never would have expected. We were proud arch enemies for many years. 

**I can imagine! The Chosen One and the Death Eater! You made headlines at the press release for Hedwig Foundation with your cutting remarks in defense of Potter towards Rita Skeeter. I believe you called her "A vile, parasitic flea who didn't even deserve to be squashed with one of Harry's most raggedy pair of trainers"? I have to say, I don't think any of us ever expected to see the day that a former You-know-Who supporter would defend Harry Potter!**

**Draco wears a look of disdain and shrugs nonchalantly**

She was being very rude. I don't like that, just because he's polite, people think they can speak to him any which way.

**Wow! It's clear that the two of you have gotten very close! How on earth did that rivalry evolve into a friendship?**

Funnily enough, it was born out of trauma. Harry and I have both experienced things as teenagers that we never should have experienced -- that we should have been protected from as children but instead were thrust into because of the roles that people needed us to play. We had many parallel traumatic experiences, just from different sides of the war. And every time our different sides would clash in some big, horrible way, instead of doing each other in, we'd wind up saving each other's lives. Neither of us would have dared say it at the time, but I think we'd both recognized that what the other was going through was unfair and were secretly rooting for each other even though we weren't supposed to.

Actually getting to a point where we could consider each other friends and eventually partners, however, took time. We'd done a lot of stuff to each other over the years and trust had to be built on both ends. But, trauma is the type of thing that, when you can talk about it with someone who makes it safe to talk about and who also gets it without making you feel judged, you really can't help but to get closer.

**Now when I hear the word "trauma," I think of something really bad. Like, ugh don't touch that, I don't want to talk about it, I rather forget it! But you talk about it like something you've accepted as a part of your life. Is that the goal of your work?**

In large part, yes. When you experience a traumatic event, it becomes a part of you even if you don't want to acknowledge it. It affects how you think, act... the choices we make! I wouldn't be sitting here today, fighting to do something good and help others if I hadn't experienced the horrors that I have and if others that I care about hadn't as well. And pushing it away and not dealing with it wasn't working for me. 

**How did you learn to 'deal with it' instead of pushing it away?**

For me, it came through educating myself about what trauma even was exactly and studying the muggle science of psychology to understand what treatments look like in the non-magical world. 

**Wow, that's really surprising, Draco. I never thought I'd hear of a Death Eater turning to Muggles for guidance! Especially with the Malfoy family being infamously pure blood enthusiasts. **

You know, ironically... Wait, this is heavy so bare with me... I was forced to take the Dark Mark when I was just barely 16. Yes, I was stupid and held some of my father's inane, bigoted ideologies but, would I have chosen to join on my own? I can't say for sure. I was again, very stupid and naive and I had only fantasies of the death eaters as some sort of elite brotherhood -- the tale I'd been spun my entire life -- so maybe I would have. But Voldemort was very angry at my family at the time and had made it very clear that I had no ultimatum if me and my family were to not be killed. It quickly shattered all fantasies and I entered into a hell I never dreamed of. 

Through it all, I had the sole goal of keeping my mother alive and trying to stay alive myself, but, with little hope in the latter. When I made it through to the other side of the war, the goal had been met but then I was purposeless. Most of the things I'd done or been privy to in the process of surviving as a 16 or 17-year-old death eater were things that I found that I did not want to live with. Thus, two weeks after my release from Azkaban, I had my death all planned out. I didn't tell anyone but I had decided to go out with a self-destructive bang. That was all me running away from the trauma and pain. 

Here comes the ironic part: In my attempt at self-destruction, I actually went to muggle London! I partied non stop with muggles for a good 2 weeks and, in the process, I learned that I actually really liked Muggles! The Muggles I met were fun, complex, caring human beings, even to me -- a stranger that they didn't even know didn't deserve their kindness. 

The day before that infamous date I had set, I was sitting on my new muggle friend's couch in London watching telly and there was a program on talking about the psychology of trauma. I had heard about the muggle science of psychology before from Harry Potter, of all people. I spent the whole night doing research on the bloke's Macintosh computer and I thought to myself, 'Well maybe I can do something with this. Maybe I can use this knowledge to make a real difference, to actually help people heal instead of causing more pain.' And that was the moment I regained a sense of purpose, a sense of hope. 

**That is incredible! Thank you for sharing, Draco. Now that you've completed your N.E.W.T. exams and prepare to depart Hogwarts, I hear you have plans to pursue your interest in psychology further as well as continue to cultivate your own muggle relations?**

Yes, I've been accepted to 5 different muggle universities with top notch psychology programs. I've also been granted the St. Mungo's apprenticeship for mind healing and plan to do both concurrently with hopes of marrying the 2 in a completely revolutionary form of mind healing. 

**5 schools? Congratulations! Have you decided on which one you'll be going to?**

No, not yet. My boyfriend is considering going as well and we haven't decided which one would work best for both of us.

**Your boyfriend? Oh, I didn't realize you were... Well do we know the lucky young man?**

Well... Why, yes, actually... he's--

**Harry Potter walks into the room, also very handsome in fine dress robes, and kisses him on the cheek**

**What? Harry Potter?! Are you saying that --**

**They both flash brilliant smiles and look to each other lovingly**

Biggest plot twist since Wilda Griffiths indeed!

* * *


	14. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Draco wavered, conflicted. He had thought his deciding moment in the upcoming war would be whether or not he was actually able to kill Albus Dumbledore. Instead, it now seemed to all come down to whether or not he'd let an injured, addled brain Harry Potter wander off into muggle London alone."
> 
> When Draco witnesses Harry be raped by death eaters the summer before 6th year, all of his convictions are questioned as he steps in to save Harry's life. When they return to Hogwarts after the war, Harry and Draco both struggle to define themselves outside of the roles that everyone expects of them while helping each other heal from their respective traumas.

"I can't believe we just did that!" Harry turned to Draco, wide-eyed.

"Having regrets, Potter?" Draco said, raising a brow teasingly.

"No way." He bit his lip lasciviously as he pulled Draco into his arms. He wrapped his arms around his hips and pulled him closer as they began to dance, Draco's arms finding their way around his shoulders.

"Good. Because I think this truly is the happiest day of my life." He stared lovingly into Harry's eyes and, in that moment, they were in a world all their own: A world that spoke of promises of real happiness and eternities and little Potter-Malfoys.

The dull ting of a fork hitting a glass followed by the sound of murmurs and laughter stirred them from their reverie and they were reminded that they were surrounded by a tent-full of people in the garden at the Burrow. Harry laughed, too, when he turned toward the source of the commotion only to find that Ron had changed out of his dress robes into a frilly, mauve-colored dress!

"Attention! Attention, everyone! I'd like to make a toast to the grooms!" He called. Harry laughed harder when he saw Hermione close her eyes and put her head in her hand in exasperation at her husband. "Don't worry," he said, pushing up the bosom area of the dress. Draco was smiling as he pulled Harry to his side and glasses of wine were floated over to them. "I'll make this short and sweet because the shorter I make it, the sooner I can get out of Auntie Muriel's dress!"

A chorus of laughter went around the room.

"At the start of our last year at Hogwarts, I made a rather unfortunate bet that I would _never_ be friends with Draco Malfoy. Of course, never in a million years did I think that the pointy git that I had grown to love-to-hate was going to step in and swoop my best mate off his feet, become a powerhouse for good in the wizarding world, and, in the process, become one of my favorite mates, too." He rolled his eyes. "To my best mate -- my brother -- Harry: You deserve all of the good things in the world and a lifetime of happiness and I'm so glad that you've found that in Draco. To my new brother-in-law, Draco, you still irritate my soul at times but I guess I'll let you share my best friend. I love you both. Cheers!" Draco smiled brilliantly and lifted his glass to Ron.

As Harry followed suit, he looked around the room at the odd mix of friends and family who had come out to support them. He watched as Minister Shacklebolt laughed with Hagrid, Percy, and Mr. Weasley. Narcissa was chatting cordially with Mrs. Weasley and Fleur. Bill and Charlie were laughing as Ginny and George tried to teach little Teddy how to bewitch a gnome to fly down the back of Ron's dress. Pansy, Blaise, Goyle, and Daphne were joyfully reunited and laughing over glasses of firewhiskey with the DA. Luna was twirling around delightedly to the beat of her own drum. Waldon, Wila, and Ariela, now going into their 4th year at Hogwarts, were excitedly talking quidditch with Oliver Wood and Viktor Krum. Astoria and Michael were snogging heavily in the corner of the tent.

Ron signaled to the band and waltz music began to play. "Headmistress," he bowed his head towards a smiling McGonagall. "May I have this dance?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed! Again, this is the first time trying my hand at fanfic so feedback and comments are welcome and greatly appreciated!


End file.
